Midnight Sun Continued
by Olivia L Jane
Summary: This is the continuation of the beloved Midnight Sun from Edward Cullen's point of view. Thanks for reading! Truly, thank you! I welcome any and all comments, especially critiques. A thousand cold kisses!
1. Chapter 12: Complications

12. Complications (Continued)

No more mistakes. I hit the gas, and then sighed as she disappeared behind me. It seemed like I was always running toward Bella or running away from her, never staying in place. I would have to find some way to hold my ground if we were ever going to have any peace.

Cutting the car's headlights, I depressed the accelerator further into the floor. The tail of exhaust spiraled away from me just as my home was in acoustic radar.

Even before rounding the corner to our drive, Rosalie's mental ravings flew at me in a clear trajectory. She and the others, of course, recognized the Volvo. All plans had abruptly changed when Rose decided to confront me. Without hesitation she launched her verbal assault.

"Of _all_ the idiotic things! If your goal was to expose us… _mission accomplished!"_ My sister's words were injected with that premium venom reserved for special occasions such as this. And although she spoke in pluralities she was really thinking of herself.

Rose's voice lowered, "Wait until you get in here."

Emmett attempted to tranquilize the anger she nursed since lunch — when Alice confirmed Bella knew the truth about us. "Rose, Rose, listen to me," he coaxed, "You have to calm down baby."

Via Emmett's perspective, he restrained Rose like a vise at her side. His mouth was near her ear as she held her frame rigid.

"Attacking Edward isn't going to help anything," he cooed. "What's done is done. Anyways, it all fits in the bigger picture, right? Like Alice said. Right?" He glanced at Alice to join in. "Ah, come on Rose. Rose?"

I had just entered the brightly lit room that could have been a gladiator's arena. Rose was seething. I held my stance. Lividness glazed over her eyes and flared from her nostrils. She locked on me as if I were prey.

If it was a confrontation she wanted, she would get no objection from me. Rosalie's contempt was intolerable. I hardly noticed Esme until I felt her hand on my shoulder.

"There is nothing to be concerned about," Alice twittered, "Our secrets will remain secrets as far as Bella is concerned. If anything, Bella has much more to fear than we do..." Alice then matched Rose's glower and pointed it at me.

When Alice heard me invite Bella to the very place she envisioned, the wheels that were in motion were now on a fast track to deciding Bella's mortality. Visions flickered past Alice's mind. I avoided her eyes. Mercifully, the disturbing footage was interrupted by Rosalie.

_Aurgh!_ She cried in interior frustration.

"Rose," Carlisle interjected with his usual monastic patience. "I can imagine this new development may be difficult to contend with..." His eyes traveled from Rose to Emmett then lingered on Jasper who was now at Alice's side.

Occupied with Alice, Jasper ignored Carlisle's request to spend his talents on Rose. He locked on Alice's face as she negotiated the scenes plaguing her thoughts. Thoughts I fought against.

Carlisle continued, returning his gaze to Rose who was trying to shimmy out of Emmett's grasp. "But Bella has proven her trustworthiness. I do not regard her knowing the truth as a threat to us. I hope," he paused, "no, I _insist_ that we conduct ourselves accordingly."

I had benefited from an afternoon of arbitration from Emmett and Alice on my behalf. But it was Carlisle who defused Rosalie's fury. It was like having my own peacekeeping task force.

"Edward and Bella will not be interfered with. Agreed?" The way Carlisle coupled our names together, _Edward and Bella_, sent a ripple of gratification through me.

He addressed the entire room, though his focus remained on Rose.

"Fine!" she hissed allowing Emmett to relax his hold.

My brother loved a good fight but hated it when it came from a real hostility. "Sounds good to me!"

Rosalie cut in on him.

"However, I will not have anything to do with the _human_." My sister spat out the last word. "I will not interfere, but I believe she remains a liability. I do not condone this, whatever it is Edward's doing. I want that to be clear."

It was then I identified the jealously exposed days ago coiled around her every word, and my feelings of pity resurfaced.

Despite her threats, _she had given in_. For someone accustomed to getting her way, this was a sacrifice for Rosalie. Her eyes narrowed as she emptied all of her visual artillery at my head. Then she slinked past me and Esme through the front door.

My mother spoke next. "Edward, you know where I stand." Her arm was around my shoulders. "I've never seen you so ha—"

"Hormonal!" Emmett spliced in with a snigger.

Ignoring my brother, I peered down towards Esme's delighted face and saw my reflection in the amber of her eyes. It was me held portrait in her eyes; however, I wasn't recognizable. I looked happy? And even my altercation with Rosalie could not dampen the thrill of the prospects before me.

Esme pulled me into a generous hug and kissed me on the cheek. She recognized what Emmett saw earlier this afternoon, what I saw now. _Happy_ wasn't an attribute given to me in my past. I've been called _amused_ in the best of circumstances, _indifferent_ by default, and _sullen_ more often than most descriptors. But _happy_? Never.

Decades ago when Emmett, Carlisle, and I posed as brothers, Emmett would distinguish me to others as the sullen one. He would say, "Edward, yeah, he's the sullen one over there with the freaky hair." I was known as the "Sullen Cullen" until Jasper's arrival to our family.

With a flash of nostalgia, I looked to Emmett who gave me a hangdog smile and two thumbs up before bolting after Rosalie.

Carlisle turned to Jasper. "Jasper?"

He was surprised to hear his name. "Agreed." Jasper nodded without removing his eyes from Alice. His thoughts supported his answer, and I felt somewhat reassured.

Carlisle and I joined him in staring at Alice as Carlisle called on her, "Alice?"

"Of course! You know how I feel about Bella." The pitch of Alice's soprano voice only amplified her anxiety. Her head was bowed.

Then she slipped her hand in Jasper's and tugged him up the stairs to her room. She was hiding something else from me; that was obvious. From what I attempted to block this afternoon, I was unsureif it was something I wanted to know_. _

When Esme let go of me still beaming, Carlisle spoke the words my mother communicated internally.

"Son, this is something!" He briefly held me by the shoulders to study my face before releasing me. They understood, as the rest of my family to some degree, what transpired.

Not only did Bella know our secret and that _she would keep it_, despite knowing the truth, she hadn't rejected me... yet. So far and rather incredibly, she seemed to reciprocate my feelings. That there were feelings from me to reciprocate was unprecedented in itself.

This whole thing was nonsensical and plain unnatural. This, I accepted, but I could not help reliving the memories that tied me to Bella.

Eager to make more, I offered my thanks and made my goodbyes to Carlisle and Esme then bounded out the door towards Bella's home.

Halfway there it was clear I would arrive too early. A part me knew this constant supervision had to be scaled back. Leaving Bella to enjoy a few hours of privacy wasn't easy, but it _was_ becoming ritual just like my bedside vigils while she slept. I reasoned that watching Bella was to guarantee her safety, and sure, yes, okay, it had escalated into a favorite hobby of mine. And I was one to never neglect a hobby.

_I wasn't fooling anyone._ Watching Bella had evolved into a studied discipline like trying not to kill her had become. Although she was safe, _for the moment_, a restlessness to be with her threatened to break my resolve.

Unthinkingly, I sprinted east until I found myself at the banks of the Puget Sound. Short waves lapped over an isolated shore. Instead of losing myself to its rhythm, a conversation jolted through my mind recalling my pitiful effort to dissuade Bella from ever joining me on a hunt. I clashed at the images that echoed Alice's vision: two figures in a meadow, calamitous consequences… I shut my eyes against it, but it was all I could do not to think about it.

In my quest for humanity, I was committing mistakes that made humans weak. When I asked Bella to change her plans, I hadn't thought it through despite my ceaseless self psycho-analysis and in complete disregard of Alice's warnings.

As a precautionary measure, I decided to hunt Friday afternoon just before our excursion. But I knew very well there were no safeguards, no assurances.

There wasn't a switch to shut off the gruesome motion picture that starred in my head. I thought of hunting. But I forced myself to shift from the catastrophic to a better outcome — Bella surviving Saturday.

The sun eventually drooped behind me while in the opposite horizon; the city lights winked me on to my original course. With light speed, I rocketed towards the dying sun, to my very living human girl.

When I reached Bella's house, I recognized her padding down the stairs to say goodnight to her father then with equal commotion climb the stairs to her room. I watched Bella's bedroom window for an hour. It gave up soundlessly again when I slipped through it. Quietly, I flowed into the rocking chair.

I took a breath.

Faster and meaner than a fist to the face, her scent punched with a force that had me against the chair. It then immediately began clawing at my throat. In retaliation, my thirst bullied me to reach out for her. It was punishing to resist. Another razing inhalation, then another…

I shrunk into myself. _Endure it!_

Just a few hours separation and my thirst brewed anew. Aggravation drilled through me that it was always going to be like this. A long hour elapsed before my bunched muscles relaxed from a tight bundle.

I hated losing any amount of control. There had to be some way to reduce the ferocity of my craving. My jacket, I remembered, held the bouquet of her blood. But that alternative was frustratingly inadequate. The only option was to never leave Bella's side.

_I could live with that. _

My eyes rolled at the inner dialog that grew in complexity over these last days. I was really beginning to foster a distaste for my own company.

Sitting back in the rocking chair, my vision settled then thinned across Bella's body vined by twisted sheets. Her face was half hidden under an arm. Her hair streamed across her pillow. Her t-shirt had ridden up exposing a swatch of milky white skin.

I quickly killed the thought of easing myself beside her.

Then from an anonymous source, without a hint of warning, the electrical charge from this afternoon resurged. The voltage could have powered the skyline I visited earlier.

Bella stirred. She moved from lying on her side to her back to her side again.

_Uh-oh._

I sprung from the rocking chair and fetched up against the darkest corner of her room.

_Just in time. _

After tussling with her sheets, Bella groggily propped herself up on an elbow.

_Awake!_ I cursed.

Bella's features compressed as she adjusted her pillow and her head fell heavily onto it.

I could taste her scent condense in the static air.

She couldn't have seen me, but could she sense me here? The danger? And my ever expanding desire to draw closer to her?

I held my breath.

Bella inhaled elaborately and closed her eyes.

I waited.

Following what seemed like an expanse of time, her breathing slowed and turned shallow.

"Edward." Bella spoke so clearly, like the first night I held my watch. And like that first night, my lifeless heart threatened to pulsate at the utterance of my name.

Then to my delight and shock, she said it again.

"Edward." Lucid as if she were resuming a conversation. I froze fearing she might have awoken for a second time.

Electricity throbbed between us.

I would have forfeited an entire century to know what she was thinking, dreaming right now! She flopped to her side and sighed saying my name, silkily this time.

Every hair on my body rose on end. Every pore opened. I caught myself before I flew to her. Fighting the irrepressible yearning to scoop her up in my arms and… and… and then what?

My impulses stuttered. _What are you doing!? Get a hold of yourself!_

The night persevered like this until only a few hours before daybreak. Bella ultimately succumb to sleep. It was a tonic to my frenetic state. However, the current between us did not diminish. It was a welcomed guest to my one-sided party.

Bella was dreaming of me. Again! And the hint of scandal in her voice when she said my name resounded smugly within me.

I perched myself on her rocking chair pleased beyond description as she repeated my name again and again.

At first light, I made my exit. My feet grew wings as I ran home._ Now _that_ was interesting_.

Alice greeted me a few hundred yards from the house challenging me to a race. I gave her a decent lead, yet, despite her fleetness, she was no match for me in my euphoric state. She joined me on the porch in seconds. "Of course you know I'll go with you."

Before I read Alice's mind, I guessed correctly that she just included herself to my hunting plans. In her vision, I recognized the Olympic Park, our short-notice go-to place. Then the light of her perceptions strobed off and on… off and on… and her sight cast blurred portentous shadows.

"Alice?"

_It will be okay. Saturday is going to be fine._ Alice wordlessly shared. Though, her predictions did not parallel her sentiments.

"I can't see it…" Alice hedged, "but I know it."

Next I witnessed another clearer visualization. I was introducing Bella to Alice. The episode looped over and over in her mind.

"Augh, alright!" I caved. "I suppose now is a good time as any."

"Yay!" Her voice tolled like bells.

"Friday, after lunch." I specified.

Alice clapped her hands. "I'm going to meet Bella. I'm going to meet Bella."

I shook my head as I sidestepped my way past her into the house. Carlisle intercepted me on the second floor landing.

_Son_. He silently called. "I overheard you're going to introduce Alice to Bella tomorrow. Forgive me for eavesdropping."

Before I could reply Carlisle continued. "Perhaps, when you feel it's appropriate, you might introduce Bella to the rest of the family. She is very much welcomed here. Of course I had the pleasure of meeting her, but I know Esme would be pleased to make her acquaintance as would I, formerly." A kindly light gleamed from my father's eyes that made it wrong to refuse him.

As apprehensive as I was at the possibility of Bella meeting my family, by meeting my family, she would know more about me. It was inexplicable, but I willfully sought that.

"Carlisle, thank you. I will definitely consider your invitation," I said returning his grin as I made for my room.

In no time, I was changed and in my car zooming towards Bella's house. When I retrieved the Volvo, it was relief to see the Austin Martin had remained unmolested. I was certain Rosalie would follow through on her threats. Pity gave way to sympathy, as I weighed Rosalie's harsh opinions against her evident restraint. _Or perhaps I had Emmett to thank for this reprieve._ That made three kindnesses I owed him. That was one thing about my brother. He only kept score on the athletic field not in favors.

Nearing the Swan residence, I patched into Bella's conversation with Charlie.

"It's a girl's choice." She responded coolly when Charlie pressed her if anyone had asked her to the dance. Bella may lack theatrical skills, but she was a masterful debater. My ego could personally attest to that.

When Charlie's cruiser drove away, I claimed his spot. Bella's pale face peeked out from her bedroom window before I heard her caper down the stairs. An unexpected nervousness snuck up on me. _Be cool._ I told myself. Being dead, that shouldn't be difficult.

From the corner of my eye, I tracked her lock the front door and tramp towards my car. I didn't turn to her right away. There was enough time for me to organize my face before she opened the door.

When Bella slid into the passenger seat, her eyes caught mine. She was smiling. I knew my efforts to hold down my excitement were doomed.

Then remembering how she said my name last night, I said warmly, "Good morning," and looked her over, "How are you today?"

Signs of fatigue disturbed her perfect face. "Good, thank you."

"You look tired." I knew very well the cause.

She shifted a wall of hair between us. "I couldn't sleep."

The fragrance resulting from her movement almost unseated me. I thought of last night. "Neither could I."

"I guess that's right," Bella laughed as I turned the motor over. "I suppose I slept just little more than you did."

"I wager you did," I said reveling in my secret.

"So what did you do last night?"

Had she suspected something? I laughed anxiously. "Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions."

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?"

Bella's quick compliance surprised me. As the space between her eyes pleated, I thought I'd better begin with something easy. Yet, every new piece of information was vitally important to me.

"What's your favorite color?"

Her eyes rolled at the seriousness in my tone. "It changes from day to day."

"What's your favorite color today?"

"Probably brown," she said.

"Brown?" I sniggered.

I expected something like scarlet, the pigment that often warmed her cheeks. Or cobalt blue, the hue I favored against her skin. Or bright white, imagining the candelas that linked us the other night. If I could blush, I would have done so now.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I _miss _brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown — tree trunks, rocks, dirt — is all covered up with squashy green stuff here," she reasoned.

"Your right." I peered toward her. "Brown is warm." _Brown is warm. Brown is soft. Brown is fragrant with _— _strawberries? _Admiring her tumble of hair, my fingers were itching for an excuse to run through it. But I reined them back and simply tucked the silk barrier behind Bella's shoulder revealing her ivory satin profile. I allowed myself this one infraction.

At the first available space, I parked the Volvo, eager for the answers to my compiled questions.

First category — music. "What music is in your CD player right now?"

When she mentioned the band, I grinned and pulled out a copy placing it in her hands.

We did not touch.

Bella examined the CD.

"Debussy to this?" I remarked curiously and said to myself — _This is going well! _

Throughout the day the interview progressed. During those precious few minutes as I walked her to class and during lunch, I volleyed my questions to Bella. Unguardedly, she shared details about herself — her favorite films, the places she wished to visit, her beloved books.

Too many weeks I was denied access to Bella's thoughts. Though this was an inferior alternative — for now — it wonderfully sufficed. It was a performance worthy of a standing ovation that I hid my enthusiasm.

At the end of lunch, I reached question #68: "What is your favorite gemstone?"

She replied, "Topaz," immediately pursing her lips to take it back.

I prodded further, but she said nothing.

"Tell me." I pestered with greater insistence.

"It's the color of your eyes today." Her fingers twiddled a ringlet of her hair when she added, "I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx."

It was supreme compliment Bella noticed anything about me. That my eyes changed from a defect of a crude diet, all at once underscored our differences. Sadness pinged inside my chest. I jumped to my next question.

"What kind of flowers do you prefer?"

Bella exhaled equally as glad I moved on.

It was Mr. Banner who interrupted my cross-examination when he wheeled the aged TV and VRC back into the Biology room. Remembering my indiscretion in the parking lot, I placed a respectable distance between me and Bella before the lights were extinguished.

It was a vain effort. In the dim room, I could see her perfectly well. Knowing she couldn't see me, again had me thinking of the other night. And the electricity that coursed between us threatened to combust.

My hands were hurting to stretch out in the darkness. I allowed myself one look. _But do not touch._ I ordered.

Bella rested her head on her arms in a display of relaxation, but her body was conspicuously stiff. My eyes scrutinized her silhouette. _Could she?_ But it was irrational to think she may be fighting the same compulsion.

The hour passed swiftly. I hadn't looked away. When the fluorescents blinked on, she turned to me. My desire to touch her peaked under exposing lights. Again, I found myself flirting with the forbidden.

As I escorted Bella to the gym's entrance, my body bucked against all my rules that only made me want to do all the wrong things. Before she spoke and before I could restrain myself, the back of my fingers traipsed the soft curve of her face. My hand stung with luscious familiarity. Following a wordless second, I made a hasty exit before my misplaced liberty turned lethal.

Spanish class was uneventful. "Hey, Alice tells me you're going hunting before —" Emmett attempted a conversation. I tuned him out answering him in monosyllables while I searched for Bella in Gym.

Mike Newton wasn't difficult to trace. Disappointingly, and yet _approvingly_, he hardly looked at Bella. This was contrary to his thoughts, which featured bitterness toward Bella for their disagreement the other day and his standard scorn for me.

I once believed it impossible, but my disdain for the boy magnified.

Ditching my position in Newton's head, I infiltrated one mind after the next only catching glimpses of Bella. When class ended, I was at the gym's doors primed with my next set of questions. A jab of suspense went through me as I waited for her.

Then Bella appeared. A smile bloomed across her face when she found me. While I desired very much to enfold her in my arms, I only returned her smile.

Realizing our time together ticked away, I continued my inquiry. In the school lot, during the drive to her home, and in my parked car, Bella painted for me her life in Arizona.

She spoke about the things she missed of her former home — the fragrance creosote emitted when it burned and the song of the cicadas in the summer. When she described the limitless skies of that arid landscape, a faraway note came over her voice and touched her eyes. _Everything_ I committed to memory. There in my car with the rain accompanying the cadence of our conversation, the hours fell away.

I envisioned her room when she remembered it. The room she could have been sleeping in this very night if she had never decided to call Forks her home.

"Are you finished?" Bella brows raised in a hopeful arch.

Just then I heard Chief Swan's faint thoughts. "Not even close — but your father will be home soon."

"Charlie!" Bella's sightline bounced around the car's interior. "How late is it?"

"It's twilight," I said examining the deepening sky, "It's the safest time of day for us."

She settled in her seat and regarded me with a curiosity that could break a frozen heart.

"The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" I grinned cheerlessly.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." Bella gazed upward, "Not that you see them here much."

I laughed at that observation. "Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday…"

She spoke over me, "Thanks, but no thanks," and caught up her things. "So, it's my turn tomorrow, then?"

"Certainly not!" I shook my head. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"

"What more is there?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." I leaned over Bella to open the door and was met with tendrils of heat. Her heart reacted in an erratic start. I was more than pleased.

But in the next moment, I nearly amputated the handle.

"Not good." I heaved. Stashed away memories rushed forward as a disturbing yet recognizable presence approached.

"What is it?"

"Another complication." The felicity from our close contact evaporated.

The thoughts of Billy Black lurched closer. I threw open the car door and stared down the sedan that held the descendents of an ancient enemy.

Billy Black was not alone. Though the youngster with him was no concern. I moved away from Bella.

"Charlie's around the corner," I cautioned. But my vigilance focused on that black car.

With a parting look to me, Bella dashed out into the rain. I disappeared into the darkness. The darkness that proved not as predictable as I had earlier proclaimed.


	2. Chapter 13: Balancing

13. Balancing

Billy Black identified me as certainly as I had him. What secrets was he now telling? Chief Swan would end all association with his daughter if he knew even an inkling of the truth. The Cullens would surely be run out of town. But like his son, would Black dishonor the treaty?

He was a long-time friend of Charlie's; I had to be reasonable. At the moment, there was nothing to be done. If I didn't lose my mind until then, tomorrow I would learn the havoc he wreaked.

With great exertion, I transferred my attention to Bella. I was amazed at the things I learned today and the things I looked forward to discovering. Despite being upended earlier, thanks to Billy Black, I felt sort of _optimistic_.

I found Esme reading in Carlisle's study. She was alone, and I was relieved.

"Edward, I thought that was you." Esme closed her book. "How was your day, sweetheart?"

As she stood she extended her hand. I took it.

"Great!" I answered more spiritedly than I meant to.

Then Esme's other hand held my face to inspect it. _My, it feels as if I haven't seen you in weeks. I missed you. How have you been? How's your Bella?_

I lowered my head when she referred to Bella as _my_ _Bella_.

Esme let go of me and stood back. "Well, things seem to be going well. That I can see."

Billy Black and Alice's deadly predictions notwithstanding, things were going well. "I missed you too." I smiled. "And Bella's… Bella is..." _Enchanting, the loveliest most disarming beautiful girl._ I broadcasted to myself; yet, every superlative fell short. "She's fine."

Esme hooked her arm around mine and led me downstairs to the great room. "Tell me about her."

Everything I uncovered, everything I observed, I relayed to Esme. A kind of ode tripped from my mouth as I described Bella — her perceptiveness as if she could read _my_ mind, the blush that colored her cheeks, her care and feeding of Charlie, the protectiveness she showed towards her mother, her charming clumsiness and unconscious grace… those chocolate brown eyes that artlessly discerned me…

Esme watched me like a baby taking his first steps. She was connecting what I was saying to a picture in her head. When I finally finished, we were seated on the long white sofa. Esme was the only one who could stomach me lately.

To anyone else, my siblings most particularly, what I just shared would supply an eternity of razzing. For an immortal that was a hell of a long time.

"Esme, I never knew I could... I can't believe that…" My mouth was running too far ahead for my brain to catch up. Finally, I spluttered, "How I feel about her… it's ineffable."

My mother looked at me fiercely. It was so unlike her that it shocked a fresh honesty in me. The silence ended when I said, "I love her."

"Love her!" Esme was ebullient. "You love her." She agreed. "I _knew_ that this would happen for you one day."

We shared a quite minute.

"I like Bella's influence on you," she patted my arm, "Now everything is complete. Everything's right."

Esme noticed my expression change. She dropped her hand to hold mine. _Don't be troubled. These complications will sort themselves out. You'll see. _

I needed to believe that. And as I partook in my mother's confidence, I trusted in a particle of hope.

"Would you play Bella's lullaby for me? It's such a lovely song."

Happily, I obliged several times. Esme stood near the piano steeped in her own reflections. "I would very much like to meet her," she said. A smile stretched across her face.

"I would like that as well. Soon." I decided.

Our reverie broke when we heard Carlisle's return from the hospital. It was approaching nine o'clock. I kissed Esme's cheek then passed my father as he entered through the front doors. We exchanged claps on the back as we crossed. Esme was at Carlisle's side when I turned to them.

"Have a goodnight, sweetheart," she winked.

"See you tomorrow, son." Carlisle added. Their hands were intertwined.

As I bulleted towards Bella's house, I imagined them conferring with each other about me, about Bella, about the colossal mess I dragged everyone into. I knew Esme and Carlisle not only supported me, even with all my careless decisions and flagrant mistakes, they were my greatest sources of encouragement. They would spare nothing for my happiness. I derived equal comfort and despair in that knowledge.

Bella was asleep when I reached her bedroom window. Her back was to me as I observed her frame rise and fall in a slow rhythmical pattern. Once in her room, I staked my position in the rocking chair. The monster of my thirst rattled its cage. I ignored him.

Continuing our discussion from earlier, Bella spoke of her mother and their home in Phoenix while she slept. She also whispered my name during the night. Again, it produced waves of pleasure when I heard it. _The things the low sexy timbre of Bella's voice would do to me…_ I purposely omitted that detail from Esme earlier.

I guarded Bella's bed until just before sunrise. When a lip of light fanned across the horizon, I crept out through the window and addressed the morning.

Alice caught me in the garage when I returned home to change and fetch my car.

Her thoughts jumbled with giddiness. _Today's the day!_

"Okay, but Alice, remember, despite everything you've seen of the future, Bella doesn't know you. _Please_ behave yourself." She bobbed away from my hand sneaking to muss her hair.

With a teasing sneer and in a singsong voice she stated, "She's going to love me. Simply love me." _FYI, Jazz and Em are looking for you. _Alice pretended to swing a racket when she twirled back to the house. "See you in Gym!"

As my sister faded through the backdoor, my brothers swarmed the garage from separate directions.

Without any prefacing Emmett began, "You're really going to do this?"

"Well if I don't, Alice will never leave me alone. This is hard to believe, but she wants to meet Bella even more than you want that Gulfstream." I said.

For months my brother campaigned for the purchase of said aircraft, but due to the increased visibility risk the idea was nixed.

"Wow… really?" Emmett considered my reply then remembered his point. "You know that wasn't what I was talking about."

_Not the best idea, Edward._ Jasper contributed silently. He then voiced, "Do you know what you're doing?"

"No." I said.

"Alice told us we must trust you, but it's dangerous." Jasper wasn't speaking of Bella's safety but my family's threat of exposure. So far my mishandling of the situation was worst than Emmett buying a whole fleet of jets.

"I know." I said

"Then why?"

"I can't explain it. I just have to."

Nothing had changed in Jasper's mind. I would either convert Bella or kill her. There were no other outcomes. He shifted his field of vision past me to look at our home. "I suppose if it means we'll have to relocate, so be it."

Like Alice, Emmett assumed better of me, but he knew that even I wasn't sure of anything. "Edward will be careful. Wont you?"

I made no response to either of them.

Jasper aware of my growing irritation mentioned, "I've never experienced what you're suffering. I can only imagine how this must be for you." Although my brother had more than a century of vampirism over me, the temptation between one human to another was indistinguishable to him.

As Jasper finished, Emmett was reliving a memory void of remorse and said, "You know I have… Of course it was different." I was going to add something cynical to that but kept quiet.

Jasper chose not to hold his tongue. "Just understand, being careful isn't a recommendation but a requisite."

"I know." _How could I not know?_

Back at Bella's home, I waited for Charlie's departure then glided into his space. Bella was out the door and in my car without any hesitation this time. My mouth turned upward.

"How did you sleep?" I said with just a little too much longing.

"Fine. How was your night?"

Bella did not bring up her run-in with Billy Black, and I did not want to sully one second by mentioning him.

My thoughts broke away to her bedroom. "Pleasant."

"Can I ask what you did?"

"No," I said. "Today is still _mine_." With my next installment of questions, I queried her about her mother, and her grandmother, and her friends in Arizona.

As Bella and I stepped along the walkway from her Spanish class to the cafeteria, I pooled my nerve and with ever rampant curiosity, I asked her about her love-life history.

When she replied she didn't have one I was fairly astounded.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?"

"Not in Phoenix," she qualified.

I was shocked at the admission and even more stunned I was the first she ever considered that way. I was gleeful yet dismayed.

Terrible computations scribbled on the walls of my brain as we were herded in the lunch line. (Human minus common sense) plus (vampire multiplied by unlimited idiocy) equals one glorious disaster.

Bella and I proceeded toward our corner of the cafeteria. Across the way, my eyes glimpsed my siblings.

I mentioned offhandedly, "I should have let you drive yourself today."

"Why?"

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch."

"Oh." Bella's eyes widen and blinked. Then with stoical acceptance she mumbled, "That's okay, it's not that far of a walk."

_She couldn't possibly believe I would desert her. _"I am not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me." There was disappointment in her voice. "I really don't mind walking."

"Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition — unless you're afraid someone might steal it."

"All right." It was obvious she didn't believe me. "So where are you going?"

"Hunting." My voice unexpectedly started to fray. "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can."

Once again Alice's visions invaded my head. My disposition darkened. "You can always cancel you know." I left the choice to her, since prudency eluded me. _Say yes Bella and cancel on me._

She stared down at the table. "No." Then after a sigh, she looked at me. "I can't." Bella's judgment was no better than mine.

"Perhaps you're right."

Several moments of silence passed.

"What time will I see you tomorrow?" she asked, attempting to lift the ambient melancholy that settled on us.

"That depends… it's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?"

"No."

Her reply elicited a smile from my lips. "The same time as usual, then." And I confirmed, "Will Charlie be there?"

"No, he's fishing tomorrow."

"And if you don't come home, what will he think?" I demanded.

"I have no idea. He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer." A grin enlivened all of her features.

I couldn't appreciate a joke over something so acutely serious. We relapsed into another silence.

Bella broke it by saying, "What are you hunting tonight?"

I was dubious of her interest. "Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far."

"Why are going with Alice?"

"Alice is the most… supportive."

"And the others?" she asked. "What are they?"

_Hmmm… Let's see. Rosalie's appalled. Emmett is… entertained. Jasper's ambivalent? Carlisle is hopeful. Esme is… overjoyed…_

The only reply I could furnish was, "Incredulous, for the most part."

Bella chanced a glance at my family. "They don't like me."

"That's not it," I said. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."

By "they" I meant my trio of siblings who remained baffled at my bizarre behavior. Only Alice sympathized with my plight or my syndrome as the others defined it.

"Neither do I, for that matter."

My eyes rolled into my head. I stared at her. "I told you — you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever know. You fascinate me." Nothing could have been understated more.

"Having the advantages I do." I tapped my head to make my point. "I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you… you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

I was frustrated that I couldn't convey what I meant for her to understand. I thought of how Bella honored confidences and suspended judgment, something I've directly benefited from. And the way she carried herself with a maturity many people spend a lifetime never gaining. In the schemes of self-interest, Bella was refreshingly unaffected.

My hand twitched to take hers. I knew not to. Instead of her hands, I held her eyes — _One glance from you disassembles me and then you put me back together _— _better. When I'm with you I am rooted. At the same time I feel altitude. _

Could this be the moment? The words verged on my lips. I was prepared to tell all.

Bella's gaze returned to my family.

"That part is easy enough to explain." I said faltering, "But there's more… and it's not easy to put into words —"

_Oh, it's quite easy. She'll be the ruin of us all! _Rosalie's internal provocations took a hatchet to my thoughts. Her eyes fastened on Bella with undisguised spite. Oblivious to the lunching student body, my siblings knew that a pin had been pulled.

I retaliated with a searing reply only audible to my family. Rosalie retreated instantly. Bella was visibly shaken, and I poorly veiled my agitation. _Apparently, this wasn't the moment._ The moment had passed, or more like kicked away by my sister's actions — actions born from her fears, admittedly, justifiable fears.

My siblings stilled into a pose as they waited for a big blowout. It wouldn't benefit my cause to promote further problems. "I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" I lowered my gaze.

"If?" Bella probed.

My elbows dug into the table. My hands cradled my head. "If this ends… badly." The ghastly spectacle recycled through my mind.

"And you have to leave now?"

"Yes." I resigned. "It's probably for the best."

In an attempt to lighten the mood, I said, "We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology — I don't think I could take any more."

Behind me, Alice's approaching steps were timed to the music of her mind.

"Alice." I acknowledged.

"Edward." She chimed.

_Don't fret. This is going to be great!_

"Alice, Bella — Bella, Alice." After my latest skirmish with Rose, this introduction bubbled with misgivings.

"It's nice to finally meet you." Alice flourished a smile. _We're going to be the best of friends. You wait and see._ She included mutely.

Although Alice's expressions were inscrutable to Bella, they weren't to me. I attempted to censure my sister. She snubbed me.

"Hi, Alice." Bella returned in a bashful mutter.

_Isn't she the dearest thing!_ Alice fawned. _And don't concern yourself with Rosalie. Emmett and Jazz will see to her._

Alice finally turned her notice to me. "Are you ready?"

I was ready but not willing to go. "Nearly, I'll meet you in the car."

Alice whisked away with Bella's eyes shadowing her. _Take your time. _There was a snicker in Alice's wordless reply as she disappeared out the door.

Bella rearranged herself to face me. "Should I say 'have fun,' or is that the wrong sentiment?"

"No, 'have fun' works as well as anything." I smirked.

"Have fun then."

"I'll try." I then urged, "And you try to be safe, please."

"Safe in Forks — What a challenge."

"For you it _is_ a challenge," I stressed with mixed sarcasm and gravity. "Promise."

"I promise to try to be safe," she said. "I'll do the laundry tonight — that ought to be fraught with peril."

I counted all the possible ways someone could injure themselves with a washing machine. "Don't fall in."

"I'll do my best."

Bella mimicked my movement when I rose from the table.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She murmured flatly.

"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" _I would see her sooner than she would ever suspect._

"I'll be there in the morning." _And tonight._

It was a feat of strength that I didn't grab her right then and there, but the lunch period would soon end, and circumstances necessitated our separation. Straddling the barrier between what I wanted and what was best, I extended my hand to stroke her cheek. Ever so awfully I wanted to say something like, "_I live for you," _or "_You are everything to me," _or the tried and true,_ "I love you."_ But these sentiments that were meant for her ears were only spoken to myself.

I then aimed for the door to leave and screen my cowardice. The bead of her gaze burned a hole in my back.

Alice waited for me crossed-legged on the Volvo catapulting from the hood at my approach. _First stop, Bella's house._ She announced inwardly. And we took off.

In no time we arrived at Bella's home. I located the key from an eave above the door. Alice zipped passed me. She already envisioned this and found the truck's key in a mound of laundry. The laundry which was the extent of Bella's plans tonight.

Alice developed a fondness for the pickup when she last drove it, snail slow as it was. I didn't need persuading when she asked if she could drive it to school. After we caravanned back to the parking lot, I scribed a note to Bella leaving it on the seat.

"Be safe." It read.

_Nice touch_. Alice remarked then voiced, "Let's roll!"

As the Volvo carved its way through the landscape, Bella, and the gauntlet set before me monopolized my thoughts.

Alice turned on the sound system and sang along. "Come on, Edward. You take the other harmony."

"Bella will be fine. At least in the next few hours." Alice rallied between versus. "You might as well make the most of it."

Following a look of consternation, I joined my sister in the chorus. I was less enthusiastic during the hunt.

_Your preoccupation with Bella is as maddening as… Rose's obsession with herself._ She next grumbled, "That's saying a lot. How did Emmett survive three days with you?!"

We both had three elk each. My efforts rating perfunctory at best. Even with feeding all out of my system, my glum demeanor endured. I hated being away from Bella; yet, I was nervous about tomorrow. What did Alice mean Bella would be fine for the next few hours? And after those hours expired, then what?

I reviewed my checklist. For a start, there was Chief Swan. Knowing that Charlie was aware of Bella's plans for Seattle, well, that he knew she would be away from home was one security measure. Then there was Jessica Stanley's knowledge of our trip.

Nonetheless, they made a poor defense system. I would be alone with Bella far from the protection of family and friends, out of the safety of witnesses. The lust for her blood was an ever present fixture of our relationship.

During the drive home, Alice interpreted my concern. _Edward_, her thoughts penetrated my mental barricades, _I believe it's going to be fine. Bella _will_ survive Saturday._ But the projection in her mind lacked resolution.

Yes, Bella would survive Saturday. My throat tightened. Even if it meant I would not.

It was little past eight when I entered Bella's room. The coda of a Chopin nocturne played softly in the background, and my surveillance went on where it left off.

Tracing the line that edge around her open mouth, my eyes then followed along the camber of her cheekbones over her moon pale skin. I thought of running a fingertip through the tassels of her lashes. I knew this face so well. I gazed upon it from many perspectives not all my own.

Bella slumbered deeply than any other night during my observation. So soundly, she didn't speak a word. She was enjoying some much needed rest, but I was disappointed I wouldn't hear my name this time.

So I contented myself with saying hers, "Bella."

I lolled her name in my mouth like a piece of candy. Every version I loved: Isabella, Miss Swan, Bells… Bella.

If someone thought or said her name directly or in passing, I sensated to it. Though, I always had a physical reaction when it came to anything connected to Bella.

I felt her name was created just for me. My secret password that opened doors to an impossible heaven.

"_Bella_." Others may think or say her name. But Bella belonged to _me_.

When she roused from what I hoped were pleasant dreams, I left her room for the woods that fringed her home.

Charlie took off for the fishing grounds a couple of hours earlier. Bella was close to comatose when he checked in on her.

"Bye Bells. See you tonight, kiddo." His said in a husky whisper.

_See you tonight, kiddo._ I labored over Charlie's farewell. That was the objective — Bella returned to her father alive and unharmed.

I hunkered amid the trees and listened to Bella preparing for the day. The chink of her breakfast dishes signaled that I was up, and I gently knocked on the front door.

Louder than her footsteps, Bella's heartbeat syncopated past the wood and mortar. The thought of her hot beating heart exhumed my uneasiness again.

She was struggling with the dead bolt but managed to fling the door open. Her composed appearance opposed her startled pulse.

"Good Morning." I said dryly.

She immediately began to inspect herself. "What's wrong?"

"We match." I snickered.

We were both had on in identical white collared shirts, cream sweaters, and dark jeans. We had the appearance of premeditative coordination. It really suited Bella. The knit fabric snugged her figure and with those form-fitting jeans…

_Stop it._ I woke myself from a trance. The day ahead was already wrought with complications only to add another one. I spent the next second concentrating on making it to the pickup.

The clink of a key reminded me Bella arranged to drive today.

"We made a deal." she asserted. And after we climbed into the cab, she asked, "Where to?"

"Put your seatbelt on — I'm nervous already."

Bella made eyes at me, strapped herself in, and repeated her question. "Where to?"

She smelled nerve-rattlingly scrumptious I had to force myself to look out the window. "Take the one-oh-one north."

You would think a highway patrol motorcade tailed us the way Bella drove. "Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?"

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather — have some respect."

We puttered along at the slowest pace past the outskirts of town. Artifice abdicated to nature as the landscape turned less civilized.

"Turn right on the one-ten," I directed. "Now we drive until the pavement ends."

"And what's there, at the pavement's end?"

"A trail."

"We're hiking?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No." Bella mumbled showing the same interest she did in Gym.

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry."

Our conversation then ebbed into a wary silence.

"What are you thinking?"

"Just wondering where we're going," she said with real concern.

"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." Together we assessed the brightening sky.

"Charlie said it would be warm today." Though this was a casual remark, Bella was treating her bottom lip like a teething ring.

I thought of my safeguards. "And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?"

"Nope."

_Okay…_"But Jessica thinks were going to Seattle together?"… _Right?_

"No, I told her you canceled on me — which is true."

I watched as the tiers of my defense system collapsed.

"That's very helpful, Bella." I acerbated.

She grew quiet again as doubt rampaged within me. "Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?"

"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly."

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me — if _you_ don't come _home_?" I craned my head to her in desperation.

She merely nodded in agreement. Just like Bella to place my considerations above her own. This was utterly insane. This was foolishness. I was the one orchestrating this debacle relying far too much on my security measures and a supposed willpower that was never truly tested.

A rant of expletives gushed from my lips. I stewed for the remainder of the drive far too angry with myself to think clearly. Indecision plagued me - abort or proceed?

_Hello, Edward._ The monster of my thirst welcomed me as I wavered.

Bella parked where the road stopped and hopped hastily out of the truck. A bad feeling was holding me to my seat. We were behaving in opposition to what nature demanded. Bella — the prey refusing to run, and me — the predator resisting the hunt. She removed her sweater. I followed mechanically and stepped out of the cab.

_I can do this._

"This way." I said limply, peeking behind me then motioning Bella in the direction of our next destination.

Alarm halted her voice, "The trail?"

"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it."

"No trail?"

I turned to her. "I won't let you get lost."

Bella didn't look comforted. By all accounts, distress ruled her expression. Had she finally gauged the danger awaiting her? A part of me prepared to terminate this foolhardy mission, but another part of me was determined to combat my monster that I could no longer ignore.

As the division between sensibility and senselessness widened within me, I defied reason; Bella must decide.

"Do you want to go home?"

"No." she said. But the trace of nervousness in her voice placed me back at a crossroad.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not a good hiker," she admitted. "You'll have to be patient."

_This was what she was worried about? Of course. Bella was never without contradictions._

"I can be patient — if I make a great effort."

Indecision again marked her face that I extended another opportunity for her to back out of this. "I'll take you home."

There was no time for me to say another word.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way." Bella huffed.

I looked to her grimly, but without further deliberation, walked into the unknown.

Bella followed close behind me. Relief dropped into her features as the hike proved less physical than she expected. She seemed to relax and so did I. My eyes roved in Bella's direction. This was unpreventable the rosier her cheeks grew from the exercise. I pretended not to notice and failing obviously.

The path was largely clear. Now and then I helped Bella maneuver past the few obstructions we encountered on the forest floor. Her heart stammered every chance I touched her. She didn't appear to be frightened, more embarrassed. My hands burned pleasurably when they contacted her skin.

As we progressed through the bramble and underbrush, I interrupted the silence with my questionnaire from the other day. This time I focused on her childhood. She described birthdays, grade school teachers, childhood pets. When she mentioned three goldfish expired in her care, I held my sides together from laughter.

The light altered above us as we neared our last destination. "Are we there yet?" Bella sniggered.

"Nearly." The trek had improved the awkwardness between us. A grin broke on my face. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"

She directed her focus to the aperture further on. "Um, should I?'

"Maybe it's a bit soon for _your_ eyes." I teased.

"Time to visit the optometrist."

My smile widened.

Bella took the lead. I kept back as she picked her way past the last hedge of woods. Then in the center of the glade, I watched as she absorbed the natural spectacle before her. She angled herself to where she assumed I would be.

I wasn't there. Bella twisted around until she found me.

Our eyes engaged.

We looked at each other like two beings meeting for the first time.

From my travels, I've enjoyed marvels of the world from the Northern Lights to the Coral Sea. But I never beheld such incomprehensible beauty until Bella turned to me in the meadow.

An angelic face, a ruinous face, a face that kept every broken hope alive, held me. Bella's loveliness outmatched the dominance of the sun, and light seemed to emanate off her skin and crown her. I felt the most inadequate audience to this divinity. In those seconds, language deserted me. But my soul sang out.

_Thou art wondrous fair._

Bella stepped forward, her hand outstretched. I recognized that I was not the only one being tested. Soon she would learn my secrets. Would she flee from me, from this place? Perhaps this is where I would pay my penance for the weeks I had stolen from her.

As I hid in the shadows, the breeze carried Bella's scent to me, tenderly stoking my thirst. Motes eddied around her like so many ownerless wishes. _Please_. I made one then.

My hand went up asking Bella to remain where she was. Then summoning my courage, I took an expansive breath and pondered what was ahead for me.

Wildflowers shocked the field with pendants of color, the air suffused with their perfume. Yet, Bella's scent proved much more pungent, much more seductive than any fragrance nature offered.

At last, after some moments trepidation, I surrendered myself to the midday sun.


	3. Chapter 14: Confessions

14. Confessions

When I entered the light my skin erupted in prisms. This was always the reaction when anyone of my kind encountered direct sunlight. With each methodical step, I believed, _now, this is when she'll leave me forever_.

Bella didn't run away. During that encapsulated moment, she didn't move. The heartbeat of the universe stilled in time to my lifeless heart. If it wasn't dead, it would have beat right out of my chest into my palm. Then as quick as everything screeched to a halt, everything cracked into motion.

Bella's mouth burst into the most exuberant smile. Her hand had remained outstretched enticing me to come closer. When I met her only a foot apart, her extended hand fell over her heart. Kaleidoscopes of color bounced and glinted off my skin to the trees, to the earth, and to Bella's smiling face. She continued to beam vibrantly, and laugh silently, and shake her head in disbelief.

"I don't scare you?" I lightheartedly inquired, but I seriously wanted to know what she was thinking about all this. Bella sat with her arms ringed around her legs. Her chin rested on her knees. I laid on my back enjoying the passing solar shafts holding up the sky.

She smirked, "No more than usual."

Resting on carpets of grass, I sang to myself in sheer tranquility forgetting that a second ago I was seeking an answer to something. Bella was here beside me, a fantasy unbelievably come to life. I was humming her lullaby when she asked me what I was saying. I couldn't image bliss like this ever being eclipsed… until I felt something like a firebrand flint against my skin. It was a lone finger tracing the back of my hand. My eyes flew open.

She sidled even closer, swaging her hair behind her ears. Then she reached out, and the tips of her fingers strayed along my forearm. My eyelids sank.

"Do you mind?" Bella asked in a low dulcet tone that drizzled down my spine.

_Do I mind?_ "No." The word almost didn't make it past my lips as the cables of current that smoldered between us the past few days were now live wires.

"You can't imagine how that feels." I said helplessly.

Bella outlined the length of my arm lingering at the bend of my elbow. The heat of her hand telegraphed up my arm and through my shoulder, thawing my throat, radiating down into my abdomen.

When she moved across my chest so that her other hand reached my other side, my synapses went haywire.

Instead of pulling her down to me, as every part of me insisted I do, I flipped my palm over toward the sky. I was letting Bella know (and reminding myself) that she was in control. But my sudden action spooked her. She pulled back.

"Sorry." I tried shutting my eyes again. "It's too easy to be myself with you."

Bella took my hand closest to her. Due to her proximity and with her hands still on me, there was no way my eyelids would stay closed. So I watched entranced as Bella examined my hand, turning it over in hers.

Expecting to find goosebumps, I checked my arm for them but only found spangled skin. _What does she make of this sideshow?_

"Tell me what you're thinking." Bands of light danced across Bella's face when she lifted my hand for a closer inspection. My stare intensified commanding her mind to give up its thoughts. It remained impenetrable. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time."

"It's a hard life." I sighed then appealed to her again. "But you didn't tell me."

"I _was_ wishing I could know what you were thinking…"

"And?" I probed.

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

Those words activated that ping of sadness now ricocheting against the vacancy in my chest. "I don't want you to be afraid."

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant, though that's certainly something to think about." Bella's forehead furrowed.

Confused, I sat up to scrutinize her more closely like she had my hand moments ago. "What are you afraid of then?" Knowing full well what she _should_ fear.

We were only inches apart that her body's warmth undulated against me. It reminded me that we were alone, apart from the protection of family and friends, away from the safety of witnesses.

Leaving no defensible space, Bella drew even nearer.

I let down my gaze. My vision was easily captivated by the hemoglobin coursing through the vessels and capillaries at her throat.

My tongue ran along my teeth. _Closer. Come closer._

Soon after, Bella inhaled and then exhaled an unguarded seismic breath. Her scent swathed around my head. She smelled of green and flowering things, of youth, of beauty. A concentration of life. I was in trouble well before I knew what was coming.

So potent was the essence in her blood. The muscles in my neck constricted while venom splashed through my veins, feeding every eager molecule. Impulses began to sever its connection to morality. Her unanticipated action, the smell of her, disinterred a former identity.

My monster glowed inside me.

Wrenching myself away from her hands, without an instant to spare, I backed into the safety of the woods. After a moments search, Bella's eyes located mine. Her bereft expression pained me, but I was thoroughly discombobulated.

"I'm… sorry… Edward," she muttered and withdrew her open hands into her lap.

"Give me a moment," was the only reply I could give. After a few seconds, I cautiously treaded into the glen. My sight fixed on Bella yet I was watching her with all my senses. Halting a few paces away, I sunk into a sitting position and nabbed two breaths of her scent.

My monster sauntered forward.

"I am so very sorry," I blundered. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?" I offered a tepid smile not intending to make a joke. Bella nodded, but concern and confusion upset her features.

When I began my next sentence, Bella's pupils dilated. Comprehension passed through her eyes. I could scent adrenaline flooding her circulatory system. I could hear her heart palpitate. It made me instantly famished.

With a rueful smile, my lips moved as my monster spoke. "I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in — my voice, my face, even my _smell_." Something moved inside me. I should have kept away.

All at once, the breeze conveyed Bella's adrenaline spiced scent to me, to my monster. Atavistic hunger was razoring my insides. And I knew nothing else but what I wanted. My vision targeted her throat.

"As if I need any of that!" I vaulted up, rounded the clearing, and hid in the shade I escaped to earlier. No more than a second passed. Bella looked at me awestruck as everything chaining my thirst came unhinged.

"As if you could outrun me," I sneered.

Grabbing one of the overhanging branches, I snapped it from its trunk. It seesawed on my finger before I impaled it into a tree yards away. Then in a split moment, I charged towards Bella stopping dead, feet from her.

Her face riddled with fear, but all I could see, all I desired was at her throat. Venom was rising behind my clenched teeth. The monster of my thirst demanded to be slaked. I was only too willing to pander to it.

We could almost taste her.

"As if you could fight me off." Our words were measured, deliberate.

Bella's stare was unblinking with terror; her countenance sallowed. And my monster ogled her with an almost righteous gluttony._ This is how it should be, how it was meant to be. _

I flailed at the ledge of a final precipice into the opened-mouth gorge of my monster. All that was required of me was to just let go…

.

.

.

Bella's eyes...

.

.

.

_I saw Bella's eyes._ In an unexpected suspension of time, those chocolate brown eyes so very near to tears, quietly slipped the slimmest of ligatures around me.

As I teetered at the brink, another more tenable safety line, then another, followed by strands of others lashed my frame like a marionette. The imaginary strings from the grief of Bella's eyes bore the weight of my thirst and jolted me back to her.

As quick as it had risen, the pandemonium within me crested. When my senses became my own again, my vision fell upon Bella with crushing remorse and misery. _What have I done? What might I've done?_

Enraged, I seized the monster by its neck and hurled it back into its cage.

I didn't need to, but I wanted to breathe in relief. With the exception of her own hyperventilated breathing, Bella remained petrified.

"Don't be afraid." I pleaded.

"I promise…" All my good intentions, all my resolve, all my will finished reforming connectivity. "I _swear_ I will not hurt you."

The monster was silent.

"Don't be afraid." My hands were up where Bella could see them when I sat down in front of her.

"Please forgive me." It was pitiful submission of an apology. "I _can_ control myself. You caught me off guard. But I'm on my best behavior now."

Bella gaped at me. With the fright I just gave her, she was naturally shocked and unresponsive.

To fix the mess I made, I pledged, "I'm not thirsty today, honestly." I didn't know what to say what to do. So, I followed this with an awkward wink and smile. Bella let out what sounded like a laugh. It was streaked with fear.

"Are you all right?" I desperately inquired.

Bella should be running away from me. But she didn't budge. Deeply ashamed, I fought the pressure to bolt if she wasn't going to. Yet, in trying to stay put, I ended up laying my hand in the warmth of her hands.

It was well within her prerogative to knock my hand away. Instead she considered it. Her eyes toiled as she prepared to tell me off.

Eventually her breathing stabilized. Bella straightened her carriage. She was going to cut me out of her life. I just knew it. Even though I didn't want to hear Bella say it, I owed it to her to remain where I was so she could tell me so to my face.

She looked at me — but there were no closed gates — astoundingly, I thought I found mercy in those eyes.

Bella's gaze returned to my hand, clasping it firmly in hers. That familiar crease emerged between her eyebrows. Without a word, she continued to study my hand. Then she squeezed it.

One would think it unperceivable against my flesh of stone, but clemency transferred from her hands to mine. She let me know at that moment it was alright. I was — forgiven?

It was singularly one of the most gracious gestures I had ever known.

_I was done for._ Bella just made everything joyously horribly worst. If she had only rebuked me right then, I might have grouped enough strength to disappear forever. But she was holding my hand.

There was no hope of me ever leaving her now.

I dearly wanted to repay her, to comfort her, to fix my mess. I wanted her in my arms. But I just remained there with my hand in hers entirely overawed.

Sitting crossed-legged facing each other, the fabric at our knees kissed. Like she had earlier, her fingertip patterned the lines in my palm as if to read my fortune. What did she see? In some strange work of magic, when she squeezed my hand, an act of consecration was committed: for bad and for worst, Edward Cullen bound eternally to Bella Swan.

She raised her face to mine and smiled.

"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?" It was all I could think to say. I felt idiotic and off balance after my animalistic display.

"I honestly can't remember," she said still smiling. A faint dimple surfaced on her chin.

I grinned nearly not recalling myself. "I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason." Seeing that I nearly made a meal out of my only purpose for existing, what more reasons were needed?

"Oh right."

"Well?"

Bella lowered her eyes to my hand again and resumed her scrawling. After a protracted minute, I teased, "How easily frustrated I am."

She spared me a glance, "I was afraid… because, for, well, obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should." Bella's expression turned downcast as her prospect returned to my hand.

"Yes," I dismally acknowledged. "That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest." After what just happened, this couldn't be more apparent. Her downcast face became morose. "I should have left long ago," I equivocated. "I should leave now. But I don't know if I can."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Which is exactly why I should," I sighed. "But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should."

"I'm glad."

"Don't be!" I detached my hand from hers. "It's not only your company I crave! Never forget _that_. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else." I scanned the forest and felt the monster stir.

"I don't think I understand exactly what you mean — by that last part anyway."

"How do I explain?" Considering what Bella said, I was appreciative of her transparency. "And without frightening you again… hmmmm." My hand reached for hers, and she readily took it with both. The temperature from her touch sizzled through my skin. The effect was intoxicating. "That's amazingly pleasant, the warmth."

After regaining some sobriety, I began.

"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors?" I said. "Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?" Bella nodded. "Sorry about the food analogy — I couldn't think of another way to explain." We exchanged grins.

"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you lock an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-brandy, the rarest, finest cognac — and filled the room with its warm aroma — how do you think he would fair then?"

Before she could answer, I spoke again. "Maybe it's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should make our alcoholic a heroin addict instead." There simply wasn't a human equivalent. Besides, this poor explanation seemed rather inappropriate. I should be still apologizing for my earlier horrendous behavior. I was about to scrap the whole thing and start over.

Bella bit her lip. "So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?"

Not knowing it, her offhanded reply alleviated most of the remaining unpleasantness between us.

I smiled. "Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."

"Does that happen often?"

"I spoke to my brothers about it." Surveying the ring of trees that bordered our enclosure, I mulled over my response. "To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in the smell, the flavor." Embarrassed at my lack of tact, I added, "Sorry."

"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try at least. Just explain however you can." Bella squared her shoulders and looked at me.

"So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who as" — I fished for the appropriate term — "_appealing_ as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other."

"And for you?"

"Never."

We were silent for a moment.

"What did Emmet do?"

I recalled my brother's offenses that laid unrestricted in his mind. It evoked thoughts of my own sins. Today's near catastrophe not excluded. This I could not share with Bella, not now, perhaps not ever. Repulsed with myself, I nearly pulled my balled up hand away from hers. Instead I diverted my gaze.

"I guess I know."

Few things I couldn't survive. Bella hating me was one of them. Seeking some kind of absolution, I said, "Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?"

"What are you asking? My permission?"

My face fell at her reply.

Bella quickly adjusted the inflection in her voice, "I mean, is there no hope, then?"

"No, no!" I was emphatic. "Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't…" I wedged Bella's changing countenance. "It's different for us. Emmett… these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as… practiced, as careful, as he is now."

"So if we'd met… oh, in a dark alley or something…"

"It took everything I had not to jump in the middle of that class full of children and —" My words splintered. I turned away from her. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." I bit down on my lip. "You must have thought I was possessed."

"I couldn't understand why. How you could hate me so quickly…"

"To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin… I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow…"

Bella's fragility was apparent now as the day I first battled her scent in that small classroom. I bore into her eyes that transformed from stupefied to spellbound. "You would have come."

"Without a doubt." Bella admitted. I broke off my stare.

"And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there — in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there — so easily dealt with." When my gaze returned to her, Bella trembled. New understanding articulated in her reaction.

"But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home — I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong — and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving." Bella stared at me and didn't speak.

"I traded cars with him — he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary…

"By the next morning I was in Alaska." Scoffing at the memories of my unsuccessful exile, I went on. "I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances … but I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe that you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl" — my lips curled into a smirk — "to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back…" Bella remained speechless, and as I often found myself in her company, I couldn't stop talking.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.

"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind… her mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating." As I watched Bella take what I was saying in stride, I didn't hold anything back.

"I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions… and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again…

"Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment — because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

My eyes clamped shut remembering that I had almost lost Bella. My instincts, always driven to kill her, saved her life that day and had just spared it once more. Bella's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"At the hospital?"

I wheeled my head towards her. "I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power — you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you." Simultaneously, we both flinched at my last statement. "I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time… the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice." I shut off the memory of Alice's alternate endings horror show that wanted to run in my head. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay.

"All that day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair… it hit me as hard as the very first day." Our sightlines intersected, and in their union there was understanding.

"And for all that," I said gravely, "I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here — with no witnesses and nothing to stop me — I were to hurt you."

"Why?"

"Isabella." In a casual gesture, I tousled her hair, but the mood remained staid.

"Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." My eyes groped the ground for support for what I didn't want to imagine much less put into words. "The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses… it would be unendurable." If I had admitted this a day, even an hour ago, it would have been meaningless. Only at this very moment did I truly grasp what I was saying. I raised my head to meet her eyes.

"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." _For you see my Bella, I am incontrovertibly in love with you._

At my spoken and unspoken admission, she looked down at our braided fingers. "You already know how I feel, of course."

Bella continued after some time. "I'm here… which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you." She pouted when she added. "I'm an idiot."

"You are an idiot," I teased. She joined me in laughter.

There was an enormous relief in being honest yet still accepted. I felt embolden. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…"

"What a stupid lamb," she sighed.

"What a sick, masochistic lion." My stare disengaged from hers to skim our timbered fortress. There was going to be many hours, days, months, devoted to metabolizing what just happened.

"Why…?" Bella started.

"Yes?"

"Tell me why you ran from me before."

My mouth hung down. "You know why."

"No, I mean, _exactly_ what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example" — she caressed the back of my hand — "seems to be all right."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault."

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you."

"Well…" I thought, "It was how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness… I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your _throat_." My voice caught knowing I said more than I should.

"Okay, then," she lowered her chin to her chest, "No throat exposure."

I laughed. "No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else.

Disregarding my numerous rules, I sprung to my knees and held my hand to the succulent skin beneath Bella's ear. Blood hammered against my palm.

"You see," I contended. "Perfectly fine."

As Bella's pulse gathered speed, a soft burgundy flushed over her. "The blush on you cheeks is lovely." Withdrawing my other hand from hers, I raised both to frame Bella's face.

"Be very still." My eyes held her gaze as I angled myself closer. Owning to some undeniable gravitational force, I placed the side of my face against hers. Never have I been so close to Bella. I was dazed by the strength of her scent and at my own daring.

With a mind of their own, my fingers roamed down the curve of her neck. Bella shuddered. My hands continued to meander over her collarbones lastly resting on her shoulders. I held them securely. Then the tip of my nose traveled the same route of my hands luxuriating in Bella's fragrance. The heat of her skin furnaced my entire body.

Nudging the base of her neck, I then advanced southward until my cheek settled magnetically against her chest.

Her heart was galloping in a thunderous sequence. It was a sound I prized. "Ah," I sighed. Hypnotized by its tempo, I listened to her heartbeat eventually decelerate. I didn't want to let her go, but I inched myself upright. Only her gaze remained in my custody.

"It won't be so hard again," I affirmed with some certainty.

"Was that very hard for you?"

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?" Once more I bungled my words. Before I could recant them she answered.

"No, it wasn't bad… for me."

My mouth turned up sheepishly.

"You know what I mean," she grinned.

"Here." I pressed her hand against my cheek still feeling the residual temperature from our contact. "Do you feel how warm it is?"

"Don't move." Bella breathed.

I obeyed and closed my eyes. Her hand quivered under mine; so, I let my hands fall at my side. With her hand now loose, she brushed my cheek with her thumb. Then her fingers grazed my lowered eyelids rounding in a circle under my eyes. A fingertip trailed the slope of my nose then outlined my mouth. She touched my face but every segment of my skin tingled.

My lips parted slightly, inhaling the perfume of blood issuing from her wrist. I was growing dizzy from the effect. Bella withdrew her hand. My eyes opened at the absence of her touch.

I was waking from a coma. My long discarded humanity resuscitated under Bella's hand. I looked at her from my insatiability, longing, demanding more as her pulse sped again.

"I wish," I whispered, "I wish you could feel the… complexity… the confusion… I feel. That you could understand." I busied myself with a tendril of Bella's hair and stroked her face.

"Tell me," she encouraged.

"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger — the thirst — that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though" — I grinned — "as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely."

My vision found the divot just above her mouth. I felt compelled to do something wildly negligent … I wanted to kiss her.

"But…" instead I bartered one transgression for another and touched her soft lips. "There are hungers. Hungers I don't understand, that are foreign to me."

"I may understand that better than you think." Bella argued.

"I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?

"For me?" She shook her head. "No, never. Never before this."

I took her hands. They were warm and vulnerable. "I don't know how to be close to you," I admitted. "I don't know if I can."

She gave me a stern look. Then very carefully, Bella leaned forward onto her knees and rested her head on my chest. I was staggered at her immediacy.

"This is enough," she whispered and closed her eyes as if to sleep.

Lost in her warmth and aroma, another desire once more outsized the range of my thirst. I encircled her in my arms and nestled my face in her hair.

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," Bella remarked charitably. Her arms that were propped on the ground twined around my waist. She drew her knees to the side, pressing the whole of her against me, enrobing me with her heat.

"I have human instincts — they may be buried deep, but they're there."

We held each other as the world outside our sanctum dissolved. But when the light dimmed elongating the shadows around us, Bella sighed in recognition that our afternoon was drawing to a close.

"You have to go." I conceded.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind."

A smile toyed with my mouth. "It's getting clearer."

Unwillingly, we both stood up. Bella had trouble regaining her balance, but she steadied herself before my hands could get to her. I didn't want this to end. _There was the hike back to her pickup. _My mind twiddled with a notion. "Can I show you something?" I asked suddenly inspired.

"Show me what?" _That sounded like a "yes."_

"I'll show you how _I_ travel in the forest." Distress from this morning reappeared on Bella's face. "Don't worry, you'll be very safe, and we'll get to your truck must faster."

She cocked an eyebrow and shored her hands to her hips. "Will you turn into a bat?"

"Like I haven't heard _that_ one before!" I said lapsing into a seizure of laughter.

"Right, I'm sure you get that all the time."

Still chuckling, I reached for her. "Come on, little coward, climb on my back."

Bella's blinking became exaggerated, but she didn't back away. When I took her hand, her heart performed a hyperactive drum roll. I then swung her on my back. As her arms and legs locked around me, my nerves reacted to the insulation generating the length of her body.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," Bella cautioned.

"Hah!" I rolled my eyes. Before we set off, I clinched one of her hands and held it against my cheek. Helping myself to a breath, tested once more the sturdiness of my resolve.

"Easier all the time." I reported more to myself than to Bella.

And then we flew…

At supersonic speed, I streaked over the undergrowth of the forest floor, leaping over felled trees and squatted boulders, maneuvering past the brush and vegetation in near levitation. A thousand thoughts zoomed through my mind. Foremost among them was my achievement.

In a low-down dirty match, I triumphed over the monster. It was not entirely vanquished, but I had proved the victor. And even though I was a bloody wreck inside, I gloried in my success.

The conquest gave me a share of confidence leading the way to all sorts of ideas — none of them good. With impatience, I blazed the last few hundred yards. In the next minute we arrived at Bella's truck.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" I said slowing to a halt.

"Bella?"

"I think I need to lie down," she wheezed.

"Oh, sorry." After an interval of time Bella remained clamped to my back. She was more than welcome to stay just where she was.

"I think I need help," she indicated.

With soundless snickering, I pried her arms and legs from my neck and waist and drew her around to face me. Carrying her in an embrace, I then lowered her to the spongy earth.

"How do you feel?"

"Dizzy, I think."

"Put you head between your knees." I guided Bella down to a sitting position and took a seat beside her.

Her breathing slowed. Then in due course she lifted her head. Her eyes, though, were scrunched closed.

"I guess that wasn't the best idea." I said.

"No, it was very interesting."

"Hah! You're as white as ghost — no, you're as white as me!"

"I think I should have closed my eyes."

"Remember that next time."

"Next time!" She made a squeamish face that sent me into chortles.

"Show off," she grumbled.

I stopped laughing and said softly, "Open your eyes, Bella." We were close enough that our noses could touch. Taking a breath, the slow burn in my throat distracted me to what I was about to do. "I was thinking, while I was running…"

"About not hitting the trees, I hope." she groused.

"Silly Bella," I leaned back feeling warm all of a sudden. I couldn't tell if the temperature change was coming from Bella or my overworking imagination. "Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about." Good thing, because all I've been thinking about was my next move.

"Show off." Bella eased her eyelids apart to see me smiling impishly back at her.

"No," I muttered, "I was thinking that there was something I wanted to try."

When I took Bella's face between my hands, her expression questioned me. I bent my head forward and answered her by touching my lips to hers.

My plan to quickly release Bella disintegrated while I melted into the softness of her mouth. A fast fever struck my skin. And underneath my sweltering skin, my muscles couldn't decide whether to contract or slip off my bones.

The kiss that I meant so innocently, to my shock and confusion, became a pyrotechnical event.

Bella parted her lips and inhaled as if to extract the very life out of me. I was seeing stars as her scent ripened with the fresh strength of our first encounter. The slumbering monster roused. We may have been skirting the threshold of danger earlier. Now we were incensing it from its cage.

I fought my way through the fires, through the smoke and lights, and finally pulled Bella away from me.

Her eyes opened wide with penitence. "Oops."

"That's an understatement." I stared at her giving up on ever regaining my faculties.

"Should I…" She attempted to free herself from my grasp. I couldn't permit it.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." As I held Bella's shoulders drinking in her scent, I saw that my resolve held.

"There," I said proudly.

"Tolerable?"

I laughed at my unexpected fortitude. "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry."

"You _are_ only human, after all," I sniggered.

"Thanks so much."

I jumped to my feet, this time helping Bella recover her balance as she stood up.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I said with a lot of bravado, which although I would never claim openly, I felt entitled to.

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy," she murmured, "I think it's some of both, though."

"Maybe you should let me drive."

Bella immediately sobered up. "Are you insane?"

"I can drive better than you on your best day," I rebutted, "You have much slower reflexes."

"I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

"Some trust, please, Bella."

I spied her fondling the key in her pocket. She nibbled her lower lip weighing the options then shook her head. "Nope, not a chance."

My eyebrows spanned out at her stubbornness. Bella then made a play to pass me nearly taking a fall at the attempt. I roped her by the midsection. With the height difference, the top of her head pieced perfectly under my chin. When I took several breathfuls of her fragrance, I too became woozy.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk." There was no chance she was driving, but I was hoping she'd challenge me again.

"Drunk?" she disputed.

"You're intoxicated by my very presence." I said conceitly.

"I can't argue with that." Finally, she raised the key above her head then released it. I caught it and was already unlocking her pickup before she lowered her hand.

"Take it easy — my truck is a senior citizen."

"Very sensible."

"And are you not affected at all?" There was annoyance in her tone. "By my presence?"

My arrogance dissolved at her sincere agitation. I lowered my face to hers. After a spell of several seconds disarming the doubt in her eyes, I left a trail of kisses from her ear to her chin and back again. _I was getting the hang of this._

Bella shivered beneath me.

"Regardless," I whispered belatedly, "I have better reflexes."


	4. Chapter 15: Mind Over Matter

15. Mind Over Matter

The sun pursued the Chevy as we motored back to town. To my surprise the radio worked. I ran the dial to an Oldies station. A lively tune that matched my spirits played, and I sang along.

"You like fifties music?" Bella's hair whipped around her as she turned to me. My hand grew warm woven into hers. How natural it was being with her. I never felt more human. We were like any other couple. _Well, with a few extraordinary exceptions._

"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh!" I cringed. "The eighties were bearable."

I was about to launch into the bridge of the song when out of nowhere Bella asked, "Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?"

"Does it matter much?" I shrugged, although, I was devising a way to bypass a definitive answer.

"No, but I still wonder…" she said. "There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

I hesitated whether or not to unveil another puzzle piece. "I wonder if it will upset you." _How would she react to the _minor detail_ that I was her senior by a few generations?_ My gaze followed the sun now riding the horizon.

Several moments passed.

"Try me." Bella insisted.

I expelled a lungful of air and looked at her. Something consequential occurred between us in the meadow that I couldn't yet follow the breadth of it. Though one thing I knew, there were secrets I could no longer keep from her.

The sun pulled the sky like a sheet over itself, but before it bedded down, I looked to it for enough light to shine on the truth but not so much that it would burn. And I then delved into my tale of broken recollections.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." I peered at Bella from the corner of my eye. "Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza." She took in a sharp breath.

"I don't remember it well — it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." In truth, the lapses of my past expanded with every second in my immortality. "I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget."

"Your parents?"

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he… save you?"

"It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us… I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history," I said reverently. "For me, it was merely very, very painful."

As I spoke, phantom suffering swept through me. Second to Bella's blood, my conversion was the most somatic event of my existence.

"He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though somehow, her heart was still beating."

"So you must be dying, then, to become…" Bella's sentence tapered off before she said the word we both had been avoiding.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice."

My thoughts turned inward again. As disease ravaged my body, Carlisle was quite literally my sole friend who later became a mentor, a father. Kindness, always guiding Carlisle's decisions, was what led to my conversion. But for a time, resentment warred within me against the gratitude I held for him at that fateful choice.

"It is easier he says though," I cleared my throat, "if the blood is weak." We were approaching Bella's home and hopefully the end of this conversation. Bella had other plans.

"And Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be to me what Esme was to him — he was careful with his thoughts around me." I rolled my eyes at that remembrance.

"But she was never more than a sister. It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting — we were in Appalachia at the time — and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." As much as Rosalie and I clashed, I felt a certain kinship towards her. She rebelled against her thirst for the sake of love and won. She and Carlisle were pioneers in that regard, and now, thankfully, I could count myself among them. With a sidelong look at Bella and with my hand still tangled in hers, I hitched up both to graze her cheek.

"But she made it," Bella remarked happily, glancing at me then turning away.

"Yes," I said. "She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they've been together ever since. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school." I snickered. "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, _again_."

"Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another… family, a _very_ different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

"Really?" Bella's eyebrows came together. "But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true. She knows other things. She sees things — things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change." I couldn't be more appreciative of that than today. This afternoon's events proved that Alice's visions aren't always what had to be, and miraculously, albeit clumsily, I defied her predictions. There was, however, another prophecy — Bella's transformation — a new source of dread. My teeth ground as I stole a glance in her direction.

"What kinds of things does she see?" Convinced Bella read my last thoughts, I steered the subject away from her.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of… your kind?" Bella showed genuine surprise that other immortals walked amongst us. She didn't know our world, which made it all the more dangerous for her. Now would have been a good time to emphasize that fact, but I had tested her fear limits quite enough for today.

"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people" — I shot her a glance — "can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live… differently tend to band together."

"And the others?"

"Nomads, for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?"

When we rolled up in front of her home, I snuffed out the truck's engine and faced her. We were the only occupants on the unlighted street, but the silence made its own presence.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" I ribbed. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years."

"So that's where the legends came from?"

"Probably."

"And Alice came from another family, like Jasper?"

"No, and that _is_ a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and know that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage."

As Bella considered my latest disclosure, her stomach rumbled. She hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast. "I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine really," she said.

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget."

"I want to stay with you."

I no more desired to end our time together than she did. "Can't I come in?" Not that a lack of a formal invitation stopped me before, I still surprised myself.

"Would you like to?"

The frequent intruder that I'd become, I really wanted an official welcome to Bella's home. "Yes, if it's all right." Then at ordinary mortal speed, I came around the Chevy to open her door.

"Very human," she praised.

"It's definitely resurfacing."

As I escorted Bella to the front porch, she glimpsed in my direction with regular frequency. I assumed from nervousness. I was uneasy myself; today was the first of so many things. When we reached the door, I unlocked it and opened it for her.

Bella tossed her head and glanced up at me, "The door was unlocked?"

"No, I used the key from under the eave." Before the sentence left my lips, I knew I had slipped up.

Bella stepped inside ahead of me to flip on the light switch. With eyebrows arched and arms crossed, she spun around.

I was unapologetic. "I was curious about you."

"You spied on me?" I expected outrage, but curiosity buffered her tone.

"What else is there to do at night?"

Her eyes drilled into a spot on the floor taking several severe inhalations through her nose. Then without explanation, she appeared to pardon me — for now. She just turned and pattered in the direction of the kitchen.

Beating her to it, I seated myself in the chair usually claimed by Charlie. Bella viewed me with a peculiar expression then went about preparing dinner.

She cut into what was an oozing red mess. When it warmed in the microwave, the waft of tomatoes and oregano filled the room. I presumed that it was something of the Italian variety. Human food now held great interest for me. In the future, I would be more considerate of Bella's mealtimes. Her voice then summoned my full attention.

"How often?"

"Hmmm?"

She stared sightlessly at the revolving plate of food. "How often did you come here?"

Without preamble I revealed, "I come here every night."

"Why?" she muttered, confused.

"You're interesting when you sleep." I watched mounting astonishment play out on her face then included, "You talk."

"No!" Bella squealed. Her hands braced against the kitchen counter as her complexion reddened.

I felt immediate guilt. "Are you _very_ angry with me?"

"That depends!"

There were a few seconds of silence.

"On?" I coaxed.

"What you heard!" Bella was plainly grieved.

I dashed to her taking her hands in mine.

"Don't be upset!" I implored holding her gaze when she struggled to look away.

"You miss your mother," my tone softened, "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too _green_.'"

My quiet chuckle was cut short when Bella cross-examined, "Anything else?"

There were still things, Alice's prophecy among them that I hid from Bella. But there _were_ areas where honesty wouldn't be life threatening.

"You did say my name," I confessed.

She altered her gaze from my eyes to the floor. "A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh no!" Bella dropped her head in her hands.

Drawing her into an embrace, I placed my mouth near her ear. "Don't be self-conscious," I breathed. "If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." Bella buried her head in my chest with her hands still shielding the mortification on her face. She felt so unthinkably soft and smelled so exceedingly good, my arms enclosed her. My hands riffed through her hair like a harpist.

Before the cruiser drove up to the house, I had identified Charlie's hazy thoughts. I chose not to warn Bella, prolonging this moment. When the sound of tires and the beam of headlights announced his imminent arrival, Bella fossilized in my arms.

"Should your father know I'm here?"

Her forehead lined. "I'm not sure…"

"Another time then…" Before she initiated an inward debate, I swooped out a kitchen window to be swallowed by the night.

"Edward!" Bella rasped. I answered her with a passing snicker that only she could hear.

Laden with fishing tackle, Chief Swan lumbered through the front door just as I squeezed past Bella's bedroom window. I roosted in my usual spot.

"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed." Charlie's baritone carried through the house. At the whir of the microwave and the strengthening odor of oregano and tomatoes, I imagined Bella assembling his dinner in the hurried consumption of her own.

"Thanks," he said.

"How was your day?"

"Good. The fish were biting… how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"

After wading through a vampire conversion discussion, I was curious how she would manage this conversation with her father. _It appears Miss Swan that the tables are turned._

"Not really — it was too nice to stay indoors."

"It was a nice day." It appeared their conversation would suffer an end at that point. That is until Charlie noticed, "In a hurry?"

Bella's voice fizzed with energy in direct contradiction to her reply. "Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early."

"You look kinda keyed up," Chief Swan observed.

"Do I?'

He then pointed out, "It's Saturday."

Bella hadn't replied.

"No plans tonight?"

"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep."

"None of the boys in town your type, eh?"

_This was developing into the most fascinating dialogue. _

"No, none of the boys have caught my eye yet."

My ears pricked up. Even after our day together with everything we experienced, _survived_, everything that was shared, a part of me demanded clarification. Although, technically, I didn't meet the conventional definition of, "boy".

"I thought maybe that Mike Newton… you said he was friendly." I nearly crumbled the arms of the rocking chair at the sound of that cretin's name. Despite my vow not to harm a human, I made new plans for Newton's eradication.

"He's _just_ a friend, Dad." I supposed that was more for my benefit than Charlie's.

"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking."

Wholeheartedly, I agreed with Chief Swan. Bella was too good for all of them, me especially. But the idea of Bella and some collegiate romance… I fell ill thinking of it.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Bella was making her way towards the stairs.

"Night, honey." Charlie's voice trailed after her.

"See you in the morning, Dad."

Bella clambered up the staircase and closed her bedroom door. Once shut, she skittered across the floor yanking the window open.

"Edward?"

I snuck behind her stifling a laugh. "Yes?"

Swiveling around, Bella clutched her chest in surprise when she discovered me lying on her bed.

"Oh!" She chirped and dropped to her knees.

I was really enjoying her frenzied state. "I'm sorry." _Even though I wasn't._

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart."

In regard for her heart, I gradually raised myself up. Then holding Bella by the shoulders, I lifted her up to the bed beside me.

"Why don't you sit with me," I proposed covering her hot hand with mine. "How's your heart?"

"You tell me — I'm sure you hear it better than I do."

I quaked with suppressed laughter remembering Charlie downstairs.

With the exception of Bella's heartbeat, we sat in a companionable silence. I monitored her pulse until it resumed a normal rate. She spoke first.

"Can I have a minute to be human?"

My hand waved out like a Vegas magician. "Certainly."

"Stay." She pointed a finger back at me.

"Yes, ma'am." With Bella's bed as my plinth, I made my best impression of a statue.

She sprang from the bed, filled her arms with stuff, and with a flash of a smile slipped out the door. When the door snipped into its frame I grew antsy, even with Bella just yards away. Whenever she left me, whether brief or prolonged, there was always this aura of anxiousness.

It steadied my mind to hear her prepare for the night ahead. While Bella tended to whatever it was girls tended to before bed, I wasn't going to pass on performing an investigation of her room.

A review of the books stacked from the floor, I recognized many of the favorites she had mentioned during my two-day inquest. I checked out the CDs on her desk amused again at our similar tastes.

Next, I looked over the garments hanging in Bella's closet and the furnishings that dotted the small space. A computer that should have been retired long ago was powered down. I moved passed it and around her bed that had a hand-me-down quilt spilling over the sides. When it occurred to me that everything in Bella's room appeared to be some cast-off.

It was charming, the idea of Bella amongst these items of antiquity. Yet, I was also disturbed by it. Did she not own anything new?

Compiling various lists of what I might give her, I considered the jewelry I inherited from my family's estate. Esme, being an expert on such matters, assigned each piece of the collection a sizable amount of worth. But would something like an antique bauble please Bella?

Then the word "antique" struck me. The point was to give her something _new_. I laughed at my misstep. However, my amusement soon weakened acknowledging I could easily include myself among the relics.

Feeling sorry for myself, I stared out Bella's window when my eyes straggled on her Chevy, the geriatric truck that she so often defended. I grimaced. Perhaps Bella wasn't adverse to the ancient. Still, objects aside, there were things that she deserved, that I, no matter how much I willed it to be so, could not give her.

"Night Dad," Bella called down to her father. She made such a racket getting ready for bed. I wondered what she was up to.

"Night Bella." I attempted to pry into Chief Swan's thoughts. As usual they were disjointed.

Stationing myself on her bed in the exact pose she left me, I heard her bustle up the stairs. When Bella closed the bedroom door behind her, a smile lighted on her lips. Her dark hair was black from being wet. Her threadbare pajamas clung to her.

"Nice." I observed.

She responded with a good-humored scowl.

"No, it looks good on you." Bella looked downright tasty.

She scooted to my side. "Thanks."

"What was all that for?" I was referring to her very audible _human minute_.

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out."

"Oh," I said. "Why?"

"Apparently, I look a little overexcited."

I held her chin, "You look very warm, actually." Then without any hurry, I inclined myself to her and pressed my check against hers.

I took a deep liberal inhalation. "Mmmmmm…" Lights studded the walls of my closed eyelids.

"It seems to be… much easier for you, now, to be close to me."

"Does it seem that way to you?" I murmured in one long connected sentence.

Being carefully not careful, I nosed the contours of her face and swept her wet hair aside exposing another area to explore.

"Much, much easier," Bella breathed.

"Hmm."

"So I was wondering…,"

My hands began to crawl along her collarbones.

"Yes?" I whispered.

"Why is that," she cleared her throat, "do you think?"

At a loss to compose a reply, I laughed.

I was in Bella's bedroom. And she had invited me here, _more or less_. And she was awake this time. And she was in my arms. Although I couldn't wrap my mind around it, the rest of me was having no trouble.

Then remembering myself, I muttered, "Mind over matter."

Bella withdrew from me. I freaked… hastily checking to see if I hurt her. She was alright, but her usually communicative eyes were reticent. At any moment, I feared she was going to take back her invitations.

After many grueling moments, I said, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No — the opposite. You're driving me crazy," Bella heaved.

Almost laughing again, this time in disbelief, my mind went over her words. "Really?"

Bella lips bowed into a smirk. "Would you like a round of applause?"

The smile that began at my eyes franchised out to my cheeks, to my mouth, advancing across my self-satisfied face.

"I'm pleasantly surprised." What was probably the most dopiest smile broadened even further. "In the last hundred years or so," I explained, "I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with… in another way than my brothers and sisters. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it… at being with you…"

"You're good at everything," she accused.

At that point, I looked down to meet her eyes and simply shrugged in agreement. It sent us both in a fit of muted laughter.

"But how can it be so easy now?" Bella cited, "This afternoon…"

"It's not _easy,_" came out in an exhale, "But this afternoon, I was still… undecided. I am sorry for that, it was unforgivable for me to behave so."

"Not unforgivable."

"Thank you." I said.

"You see," my vision dropped with warehoused dishonor from this afternoon, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…" Stealing one of her hands, I held it to my cheek. There was a sudden quiet pulse of energy between us.

"And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome" — my eyelids threatened to flutter away when I inhaled the aroma from the network of veins at her wrist — "I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…" Although I was floating in rivers of her scent, the monster remained still.

"So there's no possibility now?"

"Mind over matter." It was simplistic yet true.

Bella's brow spread out. "Wow, that was easy."

"Easy for _you_!" I laughed touching her nose with my fingertip. Yet when I filled my lungs with Bella's scent, the veracity of my thirst held down my levity.

"I'm trying," I glanced away. "If it gets to be… too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

Bella frowned.

"And it will be harder tomorrow," I tacked on. "I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think."

"Don't go away, then."

When Bella spoke to me like that, I lived to do her bidding.

"That suits me," I said hushing a laugh, "Bring on the shackles — I'm your prisoner." But my hands took back hers, cuffing them at her wrists.

"You seem more… optimistic than usual," Bella was studying me almost as intensely as I studied her, "I haven't seen you like this before."

"Isn't it supposed to be like this?" The smile on my face enlarged, "The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

"Very different," her gaze fell to my chest. "More forceful than I'd imagined."

"For example" — I remembered one of my recent very human experiences — "the emotion of jealously. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me…

"Do you remember the day that Mike Newton asked you to the dance?" My reference to the boy spurred another wave of animosity towards him. "I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt — I didn't recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I _tried_ not care.

"And then the line started forming."

Bella looked at me dismissively.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure.

"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was _right_, moral, ethical, and what I _wanted_. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry.

"And then," my tone became very serious, "as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer."

A silent interval passed, and in it, I isolated the tattoo of Bella's heartbeat. "But jealousy… it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton…"

"I should have known you'd be listening," Bella sighed.

"Of course."

"That made you feel jealous, though, really?"

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly," doubt crept into Bella's speech, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Rosalie — Rosalie, the incarnation of pure beauty, _Rosalie_ — was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?"

"There's no competition." With a smile, I slid Bella's hands around my back.

"I _know_ there's no competition." Her voice vibrated against my chest setting off a series of tremors throughout my anatomy. I waited for her to do it again. She then caviled, "That's the problem." She was still speaking of Rose and what was clearly a delusional disparity.

"Of course Rosalie is beautiful in her way," I said, "but even if she wasn't like a sister to me, even if Emmett didn't belong with her, she could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me." I gazed at her fervently, solemnly. "For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind, and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."

There had always been an awkwardness being in a family with three sets of perfect parings. And then there was me, the odd man out. In this shadow existence, Carlisle and Esme, Rose and Emmett, Alice and Jasper found meaning in each other. At times I fought such jealousy for that sense of purpose even for Rosalie who would so readily peddle her one true love for a mortal life.

"It hardly seems fair." Bella burrowed deeper into my chest. "I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

"You're right," I said, "I should make this harder for you, definitely."

I relinquished one of her wrists only to hold both in a single grip. My free hand threaded through her hair.

"You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity… what's that worth?"

"Very little — I don't feel deprived of anything."

In a warning whisper, I emphasized, "Not yet." Bella wanted to lean away, but I pressed her to me.

Quite abruptly, Charlie's heavy tread fell on the stairs.

"What —" She began but was silenced in response to my alertness. I released her at once and wedged myself in the corner of her room behind the door.

"Lie down!" I shushed.

Bella curled up under the covers as Chief Swan cracked opened the door. He surveyed the excessive rise and fall of Bella's frame for a minute then closed the door behind him shuffling off to bed.

In a twinkling, I tunneled under Bella's quilt and snaked an arm around her. My lips cornered her ear. "You are a terrible actress — I'd say that career path is out for you."

"Darn it," she said quietly, but her pulse drummed loudly.

Lost in that tempo, I hummed a few bars of Bella's lullaby. "Should I sing you to sleep?"

"Right," she giggled, "Like I could sleep with you here!"

"You do it all the time."

"But I didn't _know_ you were here."

"So if you don't want to sleep…" My proposition was more suggestive than I designed.

"If I don't want to sleep…?"

I laughed at her sudden coyness.

"I'm not sure."

"Tell me when you decide."

As Bella deliberated, I revisited the hallow of her neck. The tip of my nose skulked along her jaw line to where I indulged in a full breath.

"I thought you were desensitized," she said.

"Just because I'm resisting the wine doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet." My voice became vaporous. "You have a very floral smell, like lavender… or freesia," as my lungs expanded with her scent, venom pooled in my mouth, "It's mouthwatering."

"Yeah, it's an off day when I don't get _somebody_ telling me how edible I smell."

My chuckle faded into sigh.

"I've decided what I want to do." Bella turned her face to me. "I want to hear more about you."

"Ask me anything."

"Why do you do it?" I could see her eyes fitting together her next line. "I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you… _are_. Please don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place."

_How should I explain this?_ "That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others — the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot — they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above — to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can."

For the chance to rejoin humankind, every member of my family would sacrifice all that immortality offered. This is why we held life sacred. Our practices may be unorthodox, but it has kept us sane. It has preserved that intrinsic desire to strive for a portion of grace.

Moreover, our so termed _vegetarianism,_ cultivated a temperament so that we could coexist in a level of peace not only with each other, but to a certain degree, our human counterparts.

I noticed the silence. "Did you fall asleep?"

"No." Bella whispered, astray in thoughts I couldn't hear.

"Is that all you were curious about?"

"Not quite."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Why can you read minds — why only you? And Alice, seeing the future… why does that happen?"

"We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory… he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified — like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, whenever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?"

"Carlisle brought his compassion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie her… tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness." I laughed. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him — calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift."

Bella's forehead wrinkled as she considered this. And no wonder. A family of vampires that included a physician, a mentalist, a seer, and an empathe was quite a concept.

"So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on…"

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don't believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight — I'm the baby seal, right?"

"Right," I snickered into her hair. It was like walking in a field of strawberries.

"Are you ready to sleep?" I asked. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…," I was suddenly struck with a dreary apprehension. It was wrong to number our future.

"Are you sure you won't vanish in the morning?" Bella said interrupting my brooding. "You are mythical, after all."

"I won't leave you." _Not now at least. Never, if I had my way._

"One more, then, tonight…"

"What is it?"

"No, forget it. I changed my mind." The dimness of her room was no obstacle to my vision. I witnessed Bella flush as the climate of her skin rose.

"Bella, you can ask me anything."

With the eyes of a jeweler, I examined her face.

"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse and _worse_."

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts. It's bad enough you eavesdrop on my sleep-talking."

"Please?" I entreated.

She shook her head.

"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is."

Not being able to hear her thoughts, I would not respect her silence. "Please?"

"Well," Bella dragged out the word.

"Yes?" I prodded.

"You said that Rosalie and Emmett will get married soon… Is that… marriage… the same as it is for humans?"

I choked suppressing a laugh. "Is _that_ what you're getting at?"

Bella squirmed in my arms as I muffled another laugh.

"Yes, I suppose it is much the same," I continued with regained composure, "I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires."

"Oh."

"Was there a purpose behind your curiosity?" I grinned.

"Well I did wonder… about you and me… someday…"

Since surviving this afternoon, a large part of my brain was engaged in trying to figure out what would happen if "someday" did come. The answer made me bristle. "I don't think that… that… would be possible for us."

"Because it would be too hard for you, if I were that… close?"

"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you are so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident." My fingers brushed her cheek still sultry from her blush. "If I was too hasty… if for one second I wasn't paying attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly _breakable_ you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you."

A silence stretched before me.

"Are you scared?"

After a minute, she whispered. "No. I'm fine."

Another instant passed as I evaluated what was spoken. "I'm curious now, though," I said attempting to sound nonchalant. "Have you ever…" Like my thoughts, my sentence wandered until I recognized the evocative tenor in my voice.

"Of course not." Bella blushed a richer shade of rouge. "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."

"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."

"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all."

"That's nice. We have that one thing in common, at least." Not that it would alter how I felt towards Bella, but I was comforted by our mutual inexperience.

"Your human instincts…," Bella continued, "Well, do you find me attractive, in _that_ way, at all?"

I sniggered and ruffled her hair. _Strawberries again._

"I may not be a human, but I am a man." Recalling my reaction to her snug sweater and form-fitting jeans and the experiments I invented this afternoon. Many I had yet to try.

And I remembered the way she moved and responded to my closeness to my touch. The softness and heat that I could feel now more than all the times before. She cozied up under my arm sending thermal shockwaves through me.

Bella was oblivious to how ludicrously sexy she was. Even with wet hair and well-worn pajamas, _especially with wet hair and well-worn pajamas_. I so much wanted to kiss her again in the privacy of her room, on her bed, Bella laying here beside me.

_Don't you even think about it Edward Cullen!_ I warned.

Bella yawned allowing my better compunctions to take over.

"I've answered your questions, now you should sleep," I commanded. _Before I come up with any more hazardous notions._

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" Bella's reply projected past her room. Charlie shifted in his sleep, but his snores went uninterrupted.

I laughed in response to her plea before locking her up in my arms and resuming the refrain of her lullaby. Then shortly after, too tired to continue, Bella coasted to sleep. Her warm cheek burning a hole to my heart.


	5. Chapter 16: The Cullens

16. The Cullens

I ran home without a star in the sky. Entering by the backdoor, Esme and Alice seized me.

"Alice told us your afternoon with Bella went well." Esme enthused.

"Very well!" My sister skull dusted me with both hands.

They both looped an arm around each of mine to escort me from the kitchen to the great room.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!" Emmett, rushing forward from the hall, hefted me up into his favorite mixed martial arts hold.

"Right on bro! I _knew_ you could do it!" He set me down hard and gestured for a high five to which I complied. "You're a total a nutjob." He shook his head. "But I suppose every self-respecting family has one."

With a little dance, Emmett celebrated internally. _Yes! Yes! Yeees! I won... FINALLY!_

"Time to ante-up, missy!" He gloated in the direction of the garage. Rose had secluded herself there, ignoring me and Emmett. I caught something in his head about Greco-Roman wrestling they had wagered against yesterday's outcome. Evidently, Rose lost.

I jumped out of my brother's headspace before it got graphic. Emmett sparred sportingly with Jasper, who turned up at that moment, before charging off in Rosalie's direction.

Meanwhile, Alice was devising ambitious schematics in her head for Jasper to renovate her closets. Rose wasn't the only who lost a bet.

"Hey Jazz," I said acknowledging his entrance into the great room.

"Edward," my brother gave me an apologetic look, "I'm glad it worked out yesterday… I mean it." What I heard from his thoughts, he did mean it.

"Thank you. I appreciate that." We traded grins that meant there were no hard feelings between us.

It was then Carlisle appeared from upstairs. He held out his hand for mine and shook it ardently. "Well done, son."

When he let go of it, I spoke. "Carlisle, I was thinking about what you said. I'd like to bring Bella by today to meet everyone and see where we live."

"Yes, we would love that!" Esme nearly squealed.

"That's a grand idea," my father smiled looking at Esme. "We'll look forward to that."

I turned to Jasper. "Please don't misunderstand me, but with everything that has happened…"

Before I could finish my brother stopped me. "I'll keep a safe distance. Don't worry. I look forward to making Bella's acquaintance."

Alice tapped her chin with a finger before flipping her hand in one direction when she mentioned, "You know, that's the first time you've referred to her as '_Bella_,'" and then flapping it over in the other direction, "as opposed to the '_Swan girl'_, although, I'll admit it was catchy..." A cheeky smile dominated her features.

Jasper inclined his head to her screwing up his face. Then after a quick kiss, they wandered off holding hands.

Alice waved at me dreamily. "We'll see you soon, Edward. Can't wait to see Bella again."

Just as the pair vanished through the backdoor, my sister shot a glance at me.

That's when I saw it.

It was something long repressed, but her carefulness slackened under Jasper's influence. I had seen this vision before. However, the clarity of it was more impactful than every other transmission — Alice, her arms around an unearthly Bella with bloodstained eyes smiling, not at Alice, but directly — at me.

A snarl was unleashed before a swift rigor mortis bound my body.

Esme quavered, "Edward!"

"Edward, what's wrong?" My father demanded.

Both followed my sightline to the backdoor.

"It was Alice, wasn't it? You saw something?" Esme turned to me. With flagging confidence, I couldn't hold her gaze.

"Whatever it was you saw, remember, nothing is definite. Look at what transpired yesterday."

"Your mother is right. Alice's visions… they're not always reliable. You know this."

My head fell to my hands. No one spoke, nor could I hear their thoughts. Only two aspects of my bent frame were held in their minds.

Carlisle said soundlessly, _The future is a malleable force that offers no promises_. He next vocalized, "We may only rule the present. You've acted astutely, Edward, attributing to your triumph yesterday."

"Sweetheart," my mother stressed, "Carlisle and I could not be prouder of you. We know how much you care for Bella, how much you love her. We have faith in you, and your commitment to always… _choose well_." Esme's smile was dauntless.

Cleaving to parents assurances, I said. "I know. You're right." It came from a hallow conviction.

As I made my way back to Bella's home, I vowed to use every power stop Alice's predictions. "But to what extent?" My conscious demanded. The fact that I loved Bella was irrefutable. But did I love her enough to leave her? I remained irresolute.

There were moments, I entertained the daydream of a real human boy courting this real human girl… and I was that boy. Someone with no secrets or demons. Someone of flesh and blood. A boy that could hold his beloved without fears of harming her. But I would knock myself down from that daydream that could only ever be a daydream.

There were moments, I wanted to trap Bella in my hands and keep her light and warmth for my own pleasure. She would be my personal sun, and I, a cold satellite contentedly orbiting around her.

There were moments, I thought of leaving. And if, _when_ that happened... I would die.

In the end, between unfeasible daydreams and miserable reality, I didn't know what I would do. So I left the fate of my future to Bella. As long as she wanted me, I would stay even with the danger I posed. I was too selfish to "choose well," which inevitably meant letting her go. _That I couldn't bear._ And if I would be denied the dream then I would take and grab and horde what I could have. I confronted the dawn with a greedy jubilance I would have never thought possible. The promise of seeing her face, hearing her voice, even the subjection of her scent was something I would not be without.

Racing back to Bella, I culled solace in the rim of light cheering the sullen sky. Earlier in the night, asleep in my arms, she spoke from her dreams.

"I love you, Edward." The memory repeated in my mind chasing Alice's black prophecies and my own bitter ruminations from my thoughts.

When I reached Bella's home, I found her father connecting the Chevy's battery cables before departing for another fishing trip. Chief Swan's antics were amusing but not incredibly inventive. Once the cruiser drove away, I levered through Bella's bedroom window right into the rocking chair. I communed with her as she slept until sunlight chinked through the clouds.

Just as I left her, she remained swaddled in the quilt but for an arm that blindfolded her eyes. She then let out a groan and spooled over to her side.

"Oh!" Bella sat up in instant wakefulness.

"Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it!" I said admiringly.

"Edward! You stayed!" Bella threw out her arms pitching herself across the room and onto my lap. Then struck with sudden propriety, she froze.

I rubbed her back. "Of course."

Her open mouth curved into a smile, snuggling into my chest.

"I was sure it was a dream."

"You're not that creative," I went to kiss her, but before I could, Bella leapt forward and scampered to the door.

"Charlie!"

"He left an hour ago — after reattaching your battery cables, I might add. I have to admit I was disappointed. Is that really all it would take to stop you, if you were determined to go?"

Bella held on to the doorknob, slowly pivoting toward me.

"You're not usually this confused in the morning," and I invited her back into my empty arms for that kiss.

As I was about to snatch Bella up, she begged off, "I need another human minute."

I thought about it.

"I'll wait."

Bella backed out the door and up the stairs. By the time she strode back to her room, I worked out how I was going to bring up the idea of meeting my family. My arms had remained open when she reappeared.

"Welcome back." I pulled Bella into my lap. Mint and strawberries mixed with her scent when she curled up in my arms. And I began to rock us in a subdued rhythm.

She then eyed me suspiciously as I breathed her scent in deeply. "You left?" pinching the collar of my changed shirt.

In defense of my truancy, I explained, "I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in — What would the neighbors think?"

Bella's lips drooped into a sulk.

"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything." I kissed the top of her now brushed out hair, "The talking came earlier."

"What did you hear?" she moaned.

I spent half a minute poring over her face savoring a memory.

"You said you loved me."

"You know that already," she said softly, tucking her head into my shoulder.

"It was nice to hear, just the same."

A moment of complete stillness transpired. Then in the smallest voice Bella whispered, "I love you." It sounded deafeningly throughout the chambers of my heart, that if I didn't know better, I swore it beat then.

She loved me. Me! Bella. Loved. _Me?_ And fate help me, help her — I loved Bella.

I wanted to tell her so, but the syllables wouldn't form in my mouth. This was important, and here I was without words. To top it off, my lungs failed to respire. I needed to breathe in order to speak.

Falling short of what I meant to say, I muttered, "You are my life now."

Bella nuzzled against me heating through my chest. In the space of what I wished was an eternity, we yielded to the peace of a consensual silence. I resumed rocking us back and forth until the sun's arrival scoured her room of all the shadows from the previous night.

Almost with reluctance I spoke, "Breakfast time."

In a startling movement, Bella's hands flew to her throat. With eyes bulging, she stared at me.

I gawped back at her.

"Kidding!" She revealed in devious giggle. "And you said I couldn't act!"

"That wasn't funny."

Bella wrinkled her nose. "It was very funny, and you know it."

These shenanigans were in absolute bad form, but one look at that smile, and I was fast to forgive her.

"Shall I rephrase?" I offered, "Breakfast time for the human."

"Oh, okay."

In a fireman's hold, I flung Bella over my shoulder, and despite her objections, drifted down the stairs depositing her neatly on a chair. The Swan kitchen sparkled like of a bowl of lemons wishing us a good morning. _It was the greatest morning of all time._

Bella jockeyed forward in her seat. "What's for breakfast?"

I gave her one of those looks when you're uncertain someone's speaking to you. "Er, I'm not sure. What would you like?" I was mentally scrolling through my amassed recipes about to cross-reference them against the available provisions.

Bella smiled and sprang to her feet. "That's all right, I fend for myself pretty well. Watch me hunt."

She was poking fun at me.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

I made a face. "Just eat, Bella."

She jiggled something out of a box into a bowl and covered it with milk. As she moved the flotillas of her breakfast around with her spoon, I found it calming. This was useful as I prepared my pitch.

Then with perfect timing, Bella cleared her throat and said, "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Hmmmm…" Just as rehearsed, I proposed, "What would you say to meeting my family?"

She swallowed audibly.

"Are you afraid now?" Encouraged that she was, as Esme phrased it, "choosing well."

Her face solidified in a fretful expression. "Yes."

"Don't worry," I grimaced, "I'll protect you."

"I'm not afraid of _them_," she clarified. "I'm afraid they won't… like me. Won't they be, surprised that you would bring someone… like me… home to meet them?"

"Oh, they already know everything. They'd taken bets yesterday, you know." — I was grinning; yet, inside I buffered sharp disappointment against Jasper's and Rose's lack of faith in me — "On whether I'd bring you back, though why anyone would bet against Alice, I can't imagine. At any rate, we don't have secrets in the family. It's not really feasible, what with my mind reading and Alice seeing the future and all that."

"And Jasper making you feel all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts, don't forget that."

"You paid attention," I said.

"I've been known to do that every now and then." Bella's smile changed into a smirk. "So did Alice see me coming?"

_What? How?_ Taken completely off guard by what she said, a galaxy of images spun in my brain, burnishing that final image of Bella's crimson eyes.

"Something like that," I answered turning away from her.

I eagerly sought to veer from this path. "Is that any good?" Deeming her breakfast inconsumable, "Honestly, it doesn't' look very appetizing."

"Well, it's no irritable grizzly…," she teased.

I glared back mockingly, relieved interest in Alice's visions was deflected.

From out the kitchen windows, the cluster of trees that served to camouflage me before made me think of something else. Now that we sorted out my family, there were other considerations, primarily Chief Swan.

"And you should introduce me to your father, too, I think."

"He already knows you."

"As your boyfriend, I mean."

Bella peered up at me warily. "Why?"

"Isn't that customary?"

"I don't know." Her brow began to crease. "That's not necessary, you know. I don't expect you to… I mean, you don't have to pretend for me."

With all seriousness, I looked her straight in the eye. "I'm not pretending."

Bella absentmindedly dawdled with what was left of her breakfast and nearly chewed off her lip in thought.

"Are you going to tell Charlie I'm your boyfriend or not?" A proper courtship, even a partial one, was what I wanted. I was determined to have some small level of normal.

"Is that what you are?"

"It's a loose interpretation of the word 'boy,' I'll admit."

She lowered her eyes to the table. "I was under the impression that you were something more, actually."

My face formed a wide grimace as a thousand torches flared up inside me.

"Well, I don't know if we need to give him all the gory details." Bending over the table, I tipped her face up to mine. "But he will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't want Chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me."

"Will you be?" Bella leaned forward. "Will you really be here?"

"As long as you want me."

"I'll always want you," she whispered, "Forever."

One by one, I could feel the lights flicker out. My ribs crumpled inward like a dead star. Edging around the table, I reached out my hand until my fingertips met her cheek. _Forever_, I despaired inwardly, _she doesn't know what she's saying, what she's committing herself to_.

"Does that make you sad?"

I couldn't answer. I could only considered the expression that passed across her face. All I saw was hope. Condemnable hope.

If Bella were to reject me, if temperamental fate were to rescind her gift, it would have been worth every torment as long as it was mine to bear. But my conscience's heaviest burden was knowing the sacrifices Bella had made and the sacrifices she would make by choosing me. As much as I tried to convince myself to abide by Bella's decisions, I knew her survival would be left up to me _choosing well_.

I found my voice. "Are you finished?"

"Yes." She said, hopping out of her chair.

"Get dressed — I'll wait here."

Bella skipped off to change. After a few minutes, I heard her exit her bedroom and set out for the staircase where I waited for her.

"Okay," she announced as she gamboled down the stairs, "I'm decent."

She must have misjudged the distance between us because she careened right into me. _Whoa!_ Correcting her balance, I stood her upright.

Bella had swept her hair up into a ponytail that I was instantly enthralled by her naked neck. My hands gripped her. All that smooth diaphanous skin… _Then there was her scent_. That persecuting addictive scent that pushed me into doing things I shouldn't. I corseted my arms around Bella.

"Wrong again," I whispered into her ear. It was so small so delicate I could swallow it whole. "You are utterly indecent — no one should look so tempting, it's not fair."

"Tempting how?" She fussed. "I can change…"

"You are _so_ absurd." I said kissing her forehead while my fingers scaled down her back.

"Shall I explain how you are tempting me?" My lips naturally gravitated to hers, and for the second time — I kissed her.

Right out of a page from an antebellum novella, Bella swooned in my arms.

"Bella?" I said frantically, propping her up.

She swayed in my clutches. "You… made… me… faint."

_"What am I going to do with you?"_ I moaned. "Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!"

An anemic laugh escaped her trembling frame.

"So much for being good at everything."

"That's the problem." She gazed at me with an addled expression. "You're _too_ good. Far, far too good."

"Do you feel sick?" recalling her dizzy spell from yesterday.

"No — that wasn't the same kind of fainting at all. I don't know what happened." She was looking at her shoes. "I think I forgot to breathe."

"I can't take you anywhere like this."

"I'm fine," she assured. "Your family is going to think I'm insane anyway, what's the difference?"

As I assessed Bella's fitness to walk much less meet my supernatural family, I saw that she wore the cobalt blouse I liked. With a lovelorn pang, I grinned. "I'm very partial to that color with your skin."

She blushed rubies and turned away. "Look, I'm trying really hard not to think about what I'm about to do, so can we go already?"

"And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?"

"That's right," she said with confounding matter-of-factness.

I shook my head. "You're incredible."

Bella didn't protest when I played chauffer. We trundled in her truck beyond the outskirts of town, over the Calawah River Bridge and past widely distanced businesses and loosely planned communities. Puttering by houses that became grander and scarcer, I turned sharply onto our unpaved drive that was hidden under thickets of ferns, brushwood, and overarching hemlocks.

The truck's strident engine would certainly clue my family of our arrival as we took the promenade around a grove of ancient trees and circled the front lawn sided by mature cedars that led to our home.

A couple of miles back, Esme's thoughts and words rang clear. _She's here!_ "She's here!" She herald enthusiastically.

Rosalie sneered, "Come Emmett!"

"Baby, don't you want to meet Bella first?" he suggested. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"Absolutely NOT!" A booming crash followed.

Through Emmett's perceptions, I saw him motion to Jasper. Rosalie didn't say another word.

The next sound I heard was the fleet-footed gait of Rosalie and Emmett racing toward the forest behind our home. I wasn't concerned. I had seen worst from my sister.

As we neared the house, I watched Bella curiously review the surroundings, relieved she was spared Rosalie's tantrum.

"Wow."

I parked the Chevy in front of my home. "You like it?"

Bella peered at me sideways. "It… has a certain charm." Reaching over, I tugged on her ponytail.

"Ready?" I asked when I opened the passenger door.

"Not even a little bit — let's go." With strained laughter she patted down her hair.

"You look lovely." I grasped her hand. The motion felt more native to me than even hunting.

When we stepped onto the porch, Bella's escalating nervousness registered in her heartbeat. My thumb traced rings at the back of her hand, and opening one of the palladium double doors, I ushered her through.

Bella's mouth fell open as she considered the sight of the great room. The light of the midmorning sun kindled brightly. We walked through the entryway, our reflections visible against the opposite wall of windows.

I noticed my parents upon the raised level where the grand piano stood to our left. They were clad in their uniformly neutral colors. With the off-white tones of the furnishings and all the ubiquitous beige, I wondered what Bella was thinking as she processed what was before her.

"Carlisle, Esme," In the dense silence, it felt like I had just interrupted a church service. "This is Bella."

"You're very welcome, Bella." Carlisle cautiously approached us to shake Bella's hand.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle." Bella smiled. Her voice, to my amazement held none of her earlier anxiousness.

"It's very nice to know you," Esme said with a well-established fondness, extending her hand to Bella.

"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." Although Bella was a "quiet girl" as Emmett once described, she had irresistible charm.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" Just as I read their minds, I heard them at the top of the staircase.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice hailed.

With Jasper in tow, she flitted down the stairs coming at a standstill in front of us. Carlisle and Esme joined me in casting disapproving glances at my sister.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice welcomed. Then with perfect liberty, she sashayed forward planting a kiss on Bella's cheek. Looks of remonstration abounded.

_I'm so happy she's here! I wonder what she makes of our little abode… Now, isn't that a smart blouse… Oh, I do like her hair that way. It's quite becoming…_ Alice hounded me with her internal asides. My body cemented in response.

From the expression on Bella's face, she was taken by surprise along with the rest of my family at Alice's gusto, but to my relief, Bella seemed pleased. Before Bella saw me do it, I fired Alice a reproving glance.

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," Alice complimented aloud. Bella's skin colored a ravishing rosette to which an uncomfortable silence entered the room.

As this went on, Jasper was milling at the foot of the stairs. His presence became pronounced when the atmosphere improved dramatically. I checked him with a brief stare.

"Hello, Bella," Jasper received her cordially but did not approach.

"Hello, Jasper." Bella grinned and then addressed everyone. "It's nice to meet you all — you have a very beautiful home."

"Thank you," Esme said. "We're so glad that you came." _What a brave, dear, young woman! Bella is lovely. _Esme expressed soundlessly.

But my father's thoughts drew the rest of my attention. _Edward. _My eyes ticked over to him._ Alice foresees we will soon be receiving visitors. They've taken a detour to the East but should arrive in our borders within the week._

With a brief nod to Carlisle, I immediately became watchful. By "visitors" I understood other vampires were on their way. In a paranoiac response, I began charting measures in my mind to ensure Bella's safety.

She was admiring the Steinway on the second level.

"Do you play?" Esme inquired. I refocused on their conversation.

Bella shook her head. "Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?"

"No," Esme chuckled, "Edward didn't tell you he was musical?"

"No." Bella turned her head to me and crinkled her eyes. "I should have known, I guess."

My mother's face lit up questioningly.

Bella continued, "Edward can do everything, right?"

_Whaaat? Hold on. _Jasper cracked up inwardly and sniggered outwardly. _Wait til' Emmett hears this one!_ Adding death by hysterics as one of the few ways to kill a vampire.

Esme gazed at me with reproach. "I hope you haven't been showing off — it's rude."

"Just a bit," I admitted.

_Well I suppose men are apt to go unchecked when wooing their "inamorata" as they say. And it's clearly working. Just listening to her heart race… how endearing. _My mother's soft smile echoed her thoughts.

"He's been too modest, actually," Bella said in my defense.

Esme decided to contradict her own prior objections. "Well, play for her."

I had to point out, "You just said showing off was rude."

"There are exceptions to every rule."

"I'd like to hear you play." Bella prompted.

"It's settled then." My mother nudged me toward the piano.

Tugging Bella along, I seated her on the bench next to me. I felt a bit put on the spot. There was no telling if Bella was going to like what she was about to hear. _Why ruin a perfect morning?_ I looked at her with a frown then turned my attention to the concert grand.

My fingers swept the keys in scales and arpeggios. The notes then flowed into the song I composed for Esme, which I played as a thank you for my family's hospitality towards Bella. I angled myself to Bella, only to see her jaw drop in surprise. My family quietly laughed in unison.

There was an upswing of emotion during the next section of the melody. I winked at her, "Do you like it?"

"You wrote this?"

I nodded. "It's Esme's favorite."

Bella closed her eyes and shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm feeling extremely insignificant."

After several measures of switching key signatures, I transitioned into Bella's lullaby. The phrasing became meditative and less embellished.

"You inspired this one." The rhapsody proliferated with the sentiment I held for her without any concern to my sappiness and the risk of eternal taunting from my siblings.

_Thinking of them…_ "They like you, you know." In truth, half my family already loved Bella and that wasn't even counting me.

"Esme especially," I said.

Peeking behind her, she noticed that the room had emptied.

"Where did they go?"

"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose."

Bella sighed. "_They_ like me. But Rosalie and Emmett…"

"Don't worry about Rosalie," I said with some confidence. "She'll come around." Although, I wasn't entirely certain if my sister's attitude adjustment would be achieved any time soon.

Bella's mouth sealed into a hard line. She didn't seem convinced either.

"Emmett?"

"Well, he thinks _I'm_ a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie."

"What is it that upsets her?"

I exhaled my discouragement. "Rosalie struggles the most with… with what we are. It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And she's a little jealous."

"_Rosalie_ is jealous of _me_?" Bella spluttered in disbelief.

"You're human," I explained. "She wishes that she were, too."

"Oh," Bella's lowered lashes swept her cheeks, "Even Jasper, though…"

"That's really my fault," I confessed. "I told you he was the most recent to try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance." I thought I perceived her shiver.

"Esme and Carlisle…?" Bella hastened, to cover her reaction.

"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. All this time she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential makeup, that I was too young when Carlisle changed me… She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."

"Alice seems very… enthusiastic."

"Alice has her own way of looking at things," I said obliquely.

"And you're not going to explain that, are you?"

Bella knew I was keeping something from her. She knew that I knew this. What began as a look between us became a staring competition. I won. But Bella would no doubt revisit this matter another time.

She then swapped subjects. "So what was Carlisle telling you before?"

"You noticed that, did you?"

She shrugged. "Of course." It called to mind our very first conversation. How strikingly observant she was… and how incredibly inconvenient.

"He wanted to tell me some news — he didn't know if it was something I would share with you."

"Will you?"

"I have to, because I'm going to be a little… overbearingly protective over the next few days — or weeks — and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're curious."

"Visitors?"

"Yes… well, they aren't like us, of course — in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone."

Bella shuddered much more noticeably this time.

"Finally, a rational response!" I applauded. "I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all."

Bella ignored my barb and looked around evaluating the rest of the room.

My eyes followed hers. "Not what you expected, is it?'

"No," she admitted.

"No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don't even think we have cobwebs… what a disappointment this must be for you."

"It's so light… so open."

My reply was unintentionally somber: "It's the one place we never have to hide."

I had reached the last movement of the piece, ending in the final melancholic chord.

"Thank you," Bella whispered. A smile graced her lips. Then to my alarm, I saw that she was crying. With the back of her hand, she began to blot her eyes.

With fascination, I touched the corner of her eye and rescued a tear. It instantly cooled on my finger.

Like sleep, the inability to cry was another vampire congenital condition. I placed my finger in my mouth. Bella's tears were a savory complement to her aromatically sweet blood.

She stared at me nonplussed.

I grinned, "Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"No coffins?" Her tone was both sarcastic and nervous. Laughing, I confiscated her hand to lead her away from the piano.

"No coffins." I confirmed.

Up the broad staircase, I guided Bella to the first landing. "Rosalie and Emmett's room… Carlisle's office… Alice's room…" Identifying each corresponding door as we walked by.

At the end of the hall, Bella perused the cruciform mounted on the wall. I snickered at her stumped expression.

"You can laugh," I said. "It _is_ sort of ironic."

"It must be very old."

"Early sixteen-thirties, more or less."

Her head turned to me. "Why do you keep this here?"

"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father."

"He collected antiques?"

"No. He carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."

Bella's eyes enlarged.

"Are you all right?"

With her sightline set ponderously on the cross, she asked, "How old is Carlisle?"

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday." I recognized the innumerable questions forming behind Bella's eyes as I continued. "Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then, for the common people anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule, though."

I then began a story never told to a mortal.

"He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died giving birth to him. His father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came into power, he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves… and vampires."

Bella tried not to react when I mentioned "vampires." Yet the word we had been avoiding fell seamlessly into my narrative.

"They burned a lot of innocent people — of course the real creatures that he sought were not so easy to catch.

"When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment; he was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and more clever that his father. He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out by night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived.

"The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course" — I said with a derisive laugh — "and waited where Carlisle had seen the monsters exit into the street. Eventually one emerged.

"He must have been ancient, and weak with hunger. Carlisle heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast — was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked. He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men, and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street."

As I shared Carlisle's tale, I expunged the particulars of vampire transfiguration, vigilant of the vow I made against Alice's prophecies.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned — anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered.

"It was over then, and he realized what he had become."

Bella looked peaked.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she muttered. Her bottom lip disappeared under her upper row of teeth.

"I expect you have a few more questions for me." I ventured.

"A few," she said.

"Come on, then." I linked my hand with hers and steered her back down the hall. "I'll show you."


	6. Chapter 17: Carlisle

17. Carlisle

Outside Carlisle's study, he welcomed us.

"Come in," his voice transmitted with fidelity through the door.

When I opened it and led Bella through, I marked her reaction as she surveyed the tall ceiling supported on the shoulders of three bookshelf-lined walls together with one seamless panel of windows that soared to the rafters.

Then, of course, there was my father.

Carlisle was seated in his leather chair behind a large mahogany desk. With a professorial air, he bookmarked one of his medical tomes before he looked up.

"What can I do for you?" he rose from his chair.

"I wanted to show Bella some of our history," I said. "Well, your history, actually."

"We didn't mean to disturb you," Bella included politely.

"Not at all. Where are going to start?"

"The Waggoner." Laying a hand on Bella's shoulder, I rotated her around to face the door. Her heartbeat spiked.

_Charming._ Carlisle grinned.

The wall before us was crowded with various paintings, portraits, and sketches. I drew Bella to the far left corner of the wall in front of an oil canvas. It portrayed an Old World municipality with pitched roofs and towers accented with slim spires. A river dominated the scene arched by a cobbled bridge.

"London in the sixteen-fifties," I indicated.

"The London of my youth," Carlisle sighed reminiscently, directly behind us now. Bella started, unaware he had approached us. My fingers girded her hand.

We both looked at Carlisle. "Will _you_ tell the story?"

My father returned Bella's gaze, "I would," and he brandished a smile that put humans at ease. "But I'm actually running a bit late. The hospital called this morning — Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides you know the stories as well as I do." His eyes went to mine, and he continued inaudibly._ After all, I do not wish to intrude on your time together. I must say I very much like Bella. I have from the first. _

_Enjoy your afternoon_. He said in silent goodbye and directed another affable smile to Bella before leaving.

At length she examined the vignette of Carlisle's London before the usurpation of the Commonwealth.

"What happened then?" she inquired, turning to me, "When he realized what had happened to him?"

My eyes scanned the gallery and rested on my favorite painting. It was an autumnal depiction of a glade in the heart of a wood with a mountain summit in the background. Harkening back to our meadow, it held special fondness for me now.

"When he knew what he had become," I said, "he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?"

"He jumped from great heights." I said. "He tried to drown himself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist… feeding… while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."

"Is that possible?"

"No, there are very few ways we can be killed." Before Bella could present another question, I proceeded.

"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself.

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again.

"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and —"

"He _swam_ to France?"

"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella."

"That's true, I guess. It just sounded funny in that context. Go on."

"Swimming is easy for us —"

"Everything is easy for _you_," she complained.

I didn't continue expecting another comment.

"I won't interrupt again, I promise."

After a laugh I went on. "Because, technically, we don't need to breathe."

"You —"

"No, no, you promised." I placed a finger to Bella's plump warm mouth. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

Under my muting finger, she objected. "You can't spring something like that on me, and then expect me not to say anything."

I shifted my fingers from her lips to her neck. Even though my nerve endings prickled as blood circulated through her throat, my hand wouldn't move.

"You don't have to _breathe_?" Bella asked as if a little out of breath herself.

"No, it's not necessary. Just a habit."

"How long can you go… without _breathing_?"

"Indefinitely, I suppose; I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable — being without a sense of smell."

"A bit uncomfortable." When Bella repeated my words her tone became remote. Being able to read people's minds, I never paid close attention to body language. I didn't know what the look on Bella's face meant.

Retracting my now nerveless hand from her neck, several seconds passed while I obsessed over her reaction.

"What is it?" Her hand stroked my face comfortingly, and my sudden unease began to dissolve.

"I keep waiting for it to happen."

"For what to happen?"

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you go." I smiled without any humor. "I won't stop you. I want this to happen, because I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile…"

"I'm not running anywhere."

I sighed. "We'll see."

Bella prodded, "So, go on — Carlisle was swimming to France."

The chronicle rewound in my mind, my eyes focusing on the largest most ornamentally framed painting of the collection. It held a portrait of four figures assembled on a balcony.

"Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine — and found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives." My voice swelled with veneration. "I can't adequately describe the struggle; it took Carlisle two centuries of tortuous effort to perfect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there, at the hospital…"

For as long as I have known Carlisle, I often wondered if I could, like him, habituate to the smell of human blood. I have never been more desperate for that than these last few weeks.

Touching the canvas, I resumed my story. "He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers."

I tapped the image of the foursome gazing down with detachment at the chaos beneath them. Bella examined the rendering closely and chuckled in surprise when she distinguished the fair-haired gentleman on the end as my father.

"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods," I laughed. "Aro, Marcus, Caius." I identified the remaining line-up by their distinctive coifs: two crow-haired and the one in the middle fly-away white. "Nighttime patrons of the arts."

Bella pointed to the painting. "What happened to them?"

"They're still there." I shrugged. "As they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to 'his natural food source,' as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New Word. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see.

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity.

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years. And he had almost decided to act — since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try…" My voice dropped off as I began to recount my own transformation. Rarely did I think about it or speak of it.

Beyond the western wall of windows, my vision traveled skyward transporting me to the last memories of my human past — rows of hospital beds, faces of the dying, faces of the living who could offer no further hope. A cold comforting hand… then pain, terrorizing, insufferable pain.

Following the brief silence, I returned to Bella and smiled. "And so we've come full circle."

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then?"

"Almost always." I placed my hand lightly on her hip and showed her through the door. It did not escape me that this was a newly introduced move on my part. Bella glanced back at the wall of art when we departed.

As I led her down the hall, she half quoted me, "Almost?"

I sighed preparing to unveil another puzzle piece. "Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence — about ten years after I was… born… created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time."

"Really?" Bella said with fascination rather than with revulsion. She hardly noticed that we were ascending another staircase.

"That doesn't repulse you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I guess… it sounds reasonable."

Her response was so unanticipated and unreal that a spurt of bronchial laughter came up from deep within my chest. I startled her. It was a relief that we were past any hazards at top of the stairs and now headed down a hallway.

"From the time of my new birth," I continued, "I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle — I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the… depression… that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl — if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

Bella trembled. Although inaccessible to her thoughts, I knew we shared the same Port Angeles memory of a deserted alley, strangers from the shadows, a defenseless girl. An all too frightening scenario that could happen in the most seemingly safest of places.

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

When we arrived at the last door at the end of the hall, I noted, "My room," turning the knob then bringing Bella about from behind me to the windowed wall.

Her eyes peered down to the Sol Duc River that serpentined below us. Then they meandered across the tree line to the Olympic Mountains. When Bella pivoted away from the window, she discovered the opposite wall housing part of my CD collection and the sound system Emmett had installed as payment for a lost bet. As my room was void of a bed, I was about to offer her a seat on the leather sofa when she spoke.

"Good acoustics?"

I laughed and nodded.

Using Emmett's remote, which quite possibly controlled a missile silo somewhere, I turned on the stereo. A jazz instrumental played while Bella browsed my collection.

_How extraordinary!_ Not a minute ago I revealed my all too hideous past. Now we were discussing music…

"How do you have these organized?"

She asked a question, but I was preoccupied with monitoring her reactions. "Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame." She must have felt my eyes on her.

"What?"

"I was prepared to feel… relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I _like_ it. It makes me… happy." I shrugged half smiling.

"I'm glad." Bella produced a full smile. I looked at her uncertainly.

"You're still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?"

I nodded.

Bella planted a hand on her now canted out hip. "I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually." She then stared at me in a pageant of provocation.

_Hmmmm, really?_ I domed my eyebrows, flaunting a sinister sneer. A rumble let loose from my gut reverberating against the walls of my throat. Stooping low primed to ambush, my lips retracted exposing teeth.

Bella drew away from me. "You wouldn't."

Before she could blink, I ensnared her in my arms. We went flying into the sofa that caromed into the wall. She was flabbergasted but unharmed.

Bella huffed and puffed as she tried to sit up within the impoundment of my arms. I just tucked her deeper into my chest ignoring her protests.

A growl still haunted my voice, "You were saying?"

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," she conceded. A hint of fright undermined her earlier swagger.

"Much better."

"Um," she fidgeted, "Can I get up now?"

Disinclined to liberate her, I merely laughed.

Suddenly we weren't alone.

"Can we come in?" Alice chirped from beyond the open door.

Bella attempted once again to right herself to where I finally arranged her in a sitting position on my lap. Her face glowed like heat lamp. The elevated temperature roasted me delightfully.

Alice emerged in the doorway with Jasper deciding to hang back.

"Go ahead." I invited still laughing.

_Carlisle told me about the… vision you saw earlier. I'm sorry._ Alice offered soundlessly. I smiled so she'd know that I didn't hold it against her.

It was impossible to hold anything against Alice. Second to my parents, she was my primary advocate. Moreover, Alice loved Bella even before I knew I loved her and loyally championed Bella's interests on her behalf. For that I would always be indebted.

Alice tiptoed lithely to the middle of my room and settled on the gold-flecked carpet while Jasper stalked the door.

He glared at me. _For a moment there, I thought you… I thought…_

But Alice stepped in on his internal accusations before they went any further. "It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share," she quipped.

I cinched my arms around Bella's waist. "Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare."

"Actually," Jasper joined the conversation determining everything was alright, "Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball are you game?"

My brothers always incited the competitor in me.

Alice's eyes twinkled. "Of course you should bring Bella."

Jasper tossed my sister a passing glance, but inwardly he muled. _Alice!_ Then unnoticeable to Bella, they communicated without words, without the aid of mind reading. If I couldn't hear their thoughts, I too would be unaware of their unique correspondence.

I tuned out their exchange and undividedly turned my attention to Bella.

"Do you want to go?" Since many of my ugly secrets had been exposed, I figured this was something actually enjoyable that Bella might like to experience.

"Sure," she agreed. "Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball — you'll see why."

"Will I need an umbrella?"

"Will she?" Jasper directed his question to Alice. Not surprisingly, he was now on board with the plan.

"No." Alice confirmed, flouting a smile. "The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good, then." With this endorsement from my brother, his words or his powers, or both, change the mood.

I listened in on him. Jasper wanted me there. If Alice and I wanted Bella there, he would be supportive. Previous prejudices notwithstanding, Jasper genuinely liked Bella, something Alice believed would happen. Being a veteran of war _and_ a Southerner, Jasper was impressed by Bella's courage and gumption.

I counted my fortunes of having not one, but two exceptional brothers, an exceptional family.

Jasper always did have a soft spot for ladies with spunk. "Let's go see if Carlisle will come," Alice vocalized for Bella's benefit. She rose from the floor and with a leap, disappeared through the door. Jasper watched her and smiled.

"Like you don't know," he laughed tailing Alice out of my room, shutting the door behind him.

"What will we be playing?" Bella asked.

"_You_ will be watching," I stipulated. "We will be playing baseball."

"Vampires like baseball?" She rolled her eyes.

I answered with reverence, "It's the American pastime."


	7. Chapter 18: The Game

18. The Game

Vampires often experienced the present and anticipated the future while contemplating the past. An eternity will do that you. But in Bella's presence, every division consolidated like spheres of mercury in the purpose of enjoying her company.

My hands felt wrong not touching her. When she huddled at my side to examine a book or a photograph, the closeness, the warmth, was a new experience each time. Regardless of all my romantic designs, however, just being with her, sharing thoughts and opinions, at times saying nothing at all, there was an ease between us of an underlining friendship. This is what people did being in love. And for a time, I almost forgot I what I was.

When we reached Forks' borders it began to sprinkle just as Alice predicted. The truck's wipers did its best to keep up with droplets that fell the further we plodded into town. To the metronome of each struggled swipe, we continued our conversation from earlier.

The Chevy slogged at a stroll back to her house. I didn't mind. Inside the cab what would have once been a claustrophobic chamber of torture now felt roomy. Granted a wish I'd take Bella to some lonely place and keep her all to myself.

I made up my mind to stay with her while she went about the rest of the day — before our official _date_ tonight and my formal meeting with Charlie as Bella's _boyfriend_.

Billy Black foiled my plans.

Through the tentacles of mist, a dark sedan loomed in the driveway. Yet, this time Black wasn't inside. He was seated in a wheelchair underneath the front porch awning accompanied by the youngster from our previous standoff. I cursed above my breath when I read his mind.

Black's mission was singular — to warn to Chief Swan — but his intended audience wasn't here.

I choked off the truck's engine fermenting, "This is crossing the line." _Literally_! Forks, including this house, were well within Cullen territory. Family friend or not, Black knowingly violated the pact, and this, the second offense was tantamount to declaring war.

"He came to warn Charlie?" Bella gasped horror-struck.

With a silent nod, my eyes converged on Billy Black. An ancestral chant for warding off evil spirits echoed in his mind. It was a good thing Chief Swan wasn't home because I was about to make a really bad impression.

"Let me deal with this," Bella advised.

Then the protective thoughts of Black's son drew me to the youth. As he gripped the handles of the wheelchair that were just as weathered as his father, my vision lowered to Black. The sight of his debilitation shaved a layer of my anger.

"That's probably best. Be careful, though. The child has no idea."

Bella bristled and shifted in her seat. "Jacob is not that much younger than I am."

At her reproving tone, my vision disengaged from Black and fixed on her. My anger was immediately replaced with embarrassment. "Oh, I know."

Bella expelled a breath and held the door handle preparing to confront the rain and her uninvited guests.

"Get them inside," I directed, "so I can leave. I'll be back around dusk."

"Do you want my truck?"

My eyes rolled. "I could _walk_ home faster that this truck moves."

"You don't have to leave."

"Actually, I do. After you get rid of them" — glimpsing at the stationary duo — "you still have to prepare Charlie to meet your new boyfriend." In my best impersonation of the Cheshire cat, I grimaced.

Bella moaned, "Thanks a lot."

My grimace relaxed into a sincere smile. "I'll be back soon."

Then my gaze revisited the figures on the porch. And in an impetuous lapse of judgment, I kissed Bella, not on the cheek as I intended but on her neck. If Black came to cause trouble, I was going to give him something worth reporting.

Black's eyeballs bulged then retracted under the hood of his eyelids while Bella's heartbeat spasmed. "Soon," she emphasized before ducking into the downpour.

It gutted me to see her go. _I felt robbed._

"Hey, Billy, Hi Jacob." Bella greeted. "Charlie's gone for the day — I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Not long," Black answered dyspeptically with one grizzled eye still on me. "I just wanted to bring this up." On his lap, he carried a rolled-up brown paper bag.

"Thanks." Bella hesitated before offering, "Why don't you come in for a minute and dry off?" and unlocked the front door conducting them through ahead of her.

"Here let me take that." Unburdening Black of the paper bag, Bella turned to stand in the doorway. Her eyes pinned me to the inside of the cab. I stared straight ahead. I knew if I returned her gaze I would not leave.

My instinct to protect her clamored for me to stay, but the Quileute chieftain would no doubt detect my presence. After my incendiary act, I had no desire to give him more reasons to wait out Charlie's return.

When Bella shut the front door, I poached one last inhalation of her scent trapped within the canned heat she left behind then plunged into the rain.

Taking out my cell phone, I dialed Carlisle's mobile.

"Edward?"

"Carlisle, can you talk?"

"Yes… well, actually, I was about to head home. What is it?" It was generally in emergencies that we used our cell phones. Carlisle knew something was wrong.

"Would you mind waiting for me before you leave? I should be at the hospital in three minutes." I was already beating a route towards his direction.

"Of course. What's happened?"

"It's Billy Black." My words like my patience were about to crack. "He was camped at Bella's house. Carlisle, this wasn't the first time."

"Billy Black?" Carlisle sounded as if he misunderstood me. "Meet me at my office. Have you spoken with Alice?"

"No. Why?"

Then in an unruffled monotone he replied, "It's nothing. I'll see you soon." The call ended with Carlisle's illuminated number vaporizing from the screen.

That was puzzling. _Why did he mention Alice?_

Then the cogs and springs of my mind creaked in activation. She hadn't seen this or my earlier encounter with Black. Even with the excitement of tonight's game, Alice would be sensitive to something this significant. It left me exceedingly troubled.

Carlisle met me at the door to his office and handed me a towel. It was a slow day at the hospital with very few people about. "Now tell me exactly what happened."

As I dried off, I detailed my two showdowns with Billy Black.

"Hmmm…" My father folded his arms across his chest, "And you believe his purpose this evening was to warn Chief Swan about you, about us?"

"I read his mind. I have no doubt."

"Edward, unless Bella can convince him otherwise, if Billy Black believes his friends are in danger, I cannot see how we might prevent him. He may feel justified."

"But to break the pact and endanger his tribe?"

Carlisle appeared placid, but internally he was just as disturbed as I was.

"I can't imagine he would," he answered, "but many things have changed."

When my family returned to the Peninsula, in accordance with our original treaty, Carlisle contacted the Quileute leader. Old boundaries were reestablished; demarcations were reinstated.

Falling in love with Bella muddied all those lines.

"You know son, you've done nothing to dishonor the pact. If Billy Black carries out his plan, he will be alone in breaching the contract."

The legality of Black's objectives was immaterial if Chief Swan discovered his daughter was dating the _undead_.

Then Carlisle added positively, "Bella's a sharp girl. You mentioned she botched Black's previous attempt as informant."

I thought through my father's point for several moments then nodded my head in union to his insight. A capable negotiator, I held faith Bella could easily thwart Black's schemes as she succeeded before. But then there was another matter.

"And Alice?"

"I didn't mean to worry you." Carlisle frowned.

"Why didn't she foresee this happening?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but this may be a good sign. Perhaps these episodes with Billy Black are not as disconcerting as we believe them to be." Carlisle's verbalized convictions firmed and did not belie his unspoken ones. I tried to cast aside my doubts for now.

Carlisle observed me thoughtfully as he removed his white coat and hung it on a hook behind the door. He then patted my shoulder shepherding me out into the hallway. "Let's go home. I promised your mother a hunt before baseball tonight," he said in a cheerful tone that cleared his thoughts. Yet clouds of uncertainty came to rest on me.

Esme was waiting for Carlisle in the great room when she heard our arrival.

"Edward you're home! This is a treat." From Esme's thoughts, I learned the details of my family's planned precautionary hunt before the game tonight and the encore of Bella's company. I was not surprised by their consideration.

"Jasper tells me that Bella will be joining us tonight. I think that's splendid," Esme caroled. "Care to come with us to the park? We'll be back in plenty of time. Jasper and Alice already set off —"

There was no concealing anything from my mother. She gathered something wasn't right.

"Thank you, but no…" I began.

"We had a bit of a situation," Carlisle explained and then relayed my entanglement with Billy Black.

Esme, progressively more unsettled, withheld her comments and concerns. When Carlisle finished, it was agreed that we wouldn't share this news with the others.

"We have the game tonight, and with Bella as our guest," Esme resolved, "we should concentrate on enjoying ourselves." Nothing more was said on the subject, but Billy Black wouldn't leave my thoughts.

_"__Good luck with Charlie!__"_was written on a note in Alice's hand and pinned to a shirt she'd hung in my closet along with a raincoat and other Alice-approved attire. _That Alice. _I thought appreciatively.

As I changed, I wired into Emmett's mind and his plot to waylay me in the hallway. He arrived when my parents departed. Rosalie was still out hunting or more like venting. I felt sorry for the creatures that crossed her path today.

After zipping up my raincoat, I dove out a window and noiselessly reentered the house. Standing behind my brother as he prepared his attack, I considered administering a surprise strike but settled on tapping him on the shoulder.

"May I help you?"

"Damn-IT!" Emmett squawked throwing his hands up in aggravation.

"Will you ever learn?"

He whirled around to face me. Emmett's disappointment never lasted longer than four seconds. Grinning he said, "Sooooo, you're finally coming out to play. Excellent!"

"Bella's coming too," I added.

"I heard! This _is_ serious, if you're willing to embarrass yourself in front of your girlfriend."

A peculiar sensation stole through me when Emmett named Bella as my _girlfriend_. Bella was right, it was a deficient descriptor, but a possessive part of me got very excited.

"Jazz told me about your showboating this afternoon. Excuse me, but that's my job." He ran a finger under his nose and sucked air through his teeth. "_And_ I plan make my point tonight." This was Emmett's version of a Maurian haka.

I rolled my eyes. "And Rose?"

"I'll make sure she behaves," Emmett promised… in Rosalie's absence of course.

I socked him in the arm and turned for the stairs, "Oh, can I have the Jeep tonight?"

"Mi coche es su coche."

"Impressive."

"Some of us pay attention in Spanish."

"Thanks Em! Um, gracias. Su generosidad será recompensada."

"No problemo." My brother waved me off as I breezed down the staircase.

A couple of miles from the Swan residence I singled out my name from the convolution of conversations swirling around my head. It was no effort then to zone in on Bella's and Charlie's voices.

"It's Edward, Dad." Bella corrected.

"Is he?"

"Sort of, I guess."

_Is he what?_ _Is he what!?_ I demanded, wishing I had tuned in a few moments earlier.

"You said last night that you weren't interested in any of the boys in town." Charlie bellowed.

"Well, Edward doesn't live in town, Dad."

A protracted silence followed before Bella continued.

"And, anyways," she went on, "it's kind of at an early stage, you know. Don't embarrass me with all the boyfriend talk, okay?"

_Oh!_ _Boyfriend_ — the moniker was definitely growing on me.

"When is he coming over?"

"He'll be here in a few minutes."

"Where is he taking you?"

"I hope you're getting the Spanish Inquisition out of your system now." Bella griped. Then with more equability clarified, "We're playing baseball with his family."

Her father snorted, "You're playing baseball?"

"Well, I'll probably watch most of the time."

"You must really like this guy." Charlie's tone was weighted with wariness. Bella sighed in reply, and I sighed in relief for it was clear Bella succeeded, Black had not gotten to Charlie. The clouds of uncertainty lifted.

In a rumble, I parked the Jeep behind Bella's truck and prepared for my introduction to Chief Swan. If there was one benefit to being a vampire, it was the ability to project composure in the face of pressure, which was particularly handy at this moment.

Vampirism held one small added bonus — as I anxiously finger-combed my hair and adjusted the collar of my shirt — inactive sweat glands.

"Leave the dishes, I can do them tonight. You baby me too much." I overheard Bella's father protest.

Donning my raincoat, I outmaneuvered the showers this time and rang the doorbell. Charlie sauntered heavily towards the entryway with Bella scuttling behind him. Before they answered the door, I shook off the flecks of rain.

"Come on in, Edward." Charlie pulled the door wide open. My stomach somersaulted.

Bella looked to us and then exhaled pointedly.

"Thanks, Chief Swan." I said. Nervousness was playing with the pitch of my voice.

"Go ahead and call me Charlie. Here, I'll take your jacket."

"Thanks, sir." I was careful that my cold skin didn't make contact.

"Have a seat there, Edward."

Bella was smiling uncomfortably. I, on the other hand, embodied calm, collected, confidence while my stomach, instead of somersaults, performed a gold medal floor routine.

Taking a seat in the chair opposite the sofa forced Bella to sit by her father. She narrowed her eyes at me. I winked in return when Chief Swan wasn't looking.

"So, I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball," said Charlie in an especially paternal tone as rain galed against the living room windows.

"Yes, sir, that's the plan." In all the times I had secretly made myself comfortable in their home, it was outside of strange sitting in the Swan living room, chatting with Bella's father. I wanted to become acquainted with Chief Swan. More urgently, I wanted to be judged worthy to court his daughter. But as he sized me up with a scrutinizing stare, I also eagerly wanted to make my getaway.

"Well, more power to you, I guess." Alluding to Bella's aversion to sports, Charlie chuckled and so did I.

"Okay." Bella pronounced rising from the sofa. "Enough humor at my expense. Let's go."

She marched to the hallway and shrugged into her jacket. With a slap to his knees, Chief Swan stood up, fiddled with his belted waistband and headed for the entryway with me following after him.

"Don't worry, Charlie, I'll have her home early."

"You take care of my girl, all right." He said passing me my raincoat but not letting go when I reached for it. With every authority as an enforcer of the law, he fixed me with a deterrent gaze.

Bella moaned.

I pledged, "She'll be safe with me, I promise, sir." Chief Swan then released my coat like a baton.

As Bella strode out the door, Charlie laughed awkwardly. I joined him.

Bella then halted at the porch and her father whistled when they caught sight of Emmett's Jeep.

Admittedly, it was an intimidating contraption of automotive weaponry with its oversized tires and double-framed crash bar that lay like a headdress above the hardtop. A row of four enormous spotlights fronted the circlet of steal. Each headlight and taillight was protected behind metal cages.

"Wear your seat belts," Chief Swan ordered as Bella proceeded toward the Jeep. Right behind her, I opened the passenger side door.

She held the sides of the doorframe while her foot felt for something to boost herself up. I exhaled humoring her for a moment then in the next instance elevated her into her seat. Remembering Charlie was watching, I walked around to the driver's side at a concertedly human pace.

"What's all this?" Bella gesticulated when I opened the door and took my seat behind the wheel.

"It's an off-road harness."

"Uh-oh." But she began to tackle the configuration of buckles before her. I sighed again and reached over to click her in. When she was trussed up in the net of nylon fetters and silver clips, my fingers made excuses to get detained at her neck and her collarbone.

Then a snip of the ignition and Emmett's Jeep growled awake. Chief Swan presided over our departure as we swerved out from behind Bella's truck and into the darkening firmament.

"This is a… um… _big_ Jeep you have."

"It's Emmett's. I didn't think you'd want to run the whole way.

"Where do you keep this thing?"

"We remodeled one of the outbuildings into a garage."

"Aren't you going to put on your seat belt?"

I glanced at her incredulously.

Bella then gulped grasping something. "Run the whole way? As in, we're still going to run part of the way?"

My lips arched into a smirk. "You're not going to run."

"_I'm_ going to be sick."

"Keep your eyes closed, you'll be fine."

While Bella's bottom lip hid within her compressed mouth, I bent over to kiss the top of her head and moaned. She peeked up at me.

"You smell so good in the rain."

"In a good way, or a bad way?"

A slow ballasted sigh fell from my lips. "Both, always both."

A solitary scrap of sky revolted through the guard of clouds, and when we were a few miles out of town the weather yielded. The rain was a light sprinkle. As the Jeep jounced along our makeshift Supercross course, I pretended that it wasn't funny the way Bella was tossed within her restraints. Slowing the Jeep to a stop when the path dead-ended, I killed the engine.

"Sorry, Bella, we have to go on foot from here."

"You know what? I'll just wait here," she said with a nauseated expression.

"What happened to all your courage? You were extraordinary this morning."

"I haven't forgotten the last time yet."

Before she could supply more evidence of her increasing qualms, I rounded the Jeep to unlock her door and began disconnecting the top tier of buckles.

"I'll get those, you go on ahead," Bella insisted.

"Hmmm…" With expeditious care, I released her from the remaining bonds.

"It seems I'm going to have to tamper with your memory," I said extracting her from the Jeep and standing her squarely.

In a near phobic inflection Bella questioned, "Tamper with my memory?"

"Something like that." I set my hands on the Jeep on either side of Bella's head, and with mingled determination and amusement, slowly inclined myself toward her.

As I moved in closer so that there was no distance between her face and mine, she slumped against the door. "Now," I whispered, "what exactly are you worrying about?"

Bella muttered, "Well, um, hitting a tree —" she swallowed " — and dying. And then getting sick."

Seeing my tactics were working, I pressed my advantage. I thought of my untried experiments as I lowered my head to hers. My mouth found its special haunt at the hallow of Bella's neck. "Are you still worried now?"

Cold breath was losing to her heated skin.

"Yes," she said shallowly, "About hitting trees and getting sick."

From the base of her throat to her chin, my nose browsed upward. My mouth grazed the skin under her jaw. "And now?"

"Trees." She closed her eyes. "Motion sickness."

I then drew up to kiss her eyelids. "Bella, you don't really think I would hit a tree, do you?"

"No, but _I_ might."

Leaving a wake of kisses down her cheek, I lingered at the corner of her mouth. "Would I let a tree hurt you?"

She replied with a flimsy, "No."

"You see," my lips spoke against hers, "There's nothing to be afraid of, is there?"

"No."

_Victory!_

Against all advisability, my hands held her face. Then I covered her mouth with my own.

Bella's arms flung up around my shoulders closing her fingers at my nape. She pulled me to her. Something, an ankle, tethered around my leg. And I sank into the warmth, the softness as the ground screwed away from under me.

She parted her lips, let out a massive sigh, and with it the most virulent scent. Ahead of what I knew what was happening, it charred a path from my throat to my abdomen.

Bella was taking me down, down, down to a place I never wished to leave. I wanted her body. I wanted her blood. The two diametric desires could have only one fatal outcome. Screaming at the nobler margins of my conscience, I somehow kicked myself back to the surface and stumbled backwards.

"Damn it, Bella!" I panted. "You'll be the death of me, I swear you will."

Bella's hands were on her knees. "You're indestructible." She was taking in air as if she just completed a race while I had my arms around my stomach aching at the starting line.

"I might have believed that before I met _you_. Now let's get out of here before I do something really stupid," I grunted. Slinging Bella across my back, her legs and arms wound around me.

"Don't forget to close your eyes," I reminded her.

When she buried her head into my back, I took off.

Keeping upright to protect Bella from the slipstream, we excelled fluidly through the forest. The convection of her body branded my own. The sensation of warmth and weightlessness expended a fraction of the anger I kept for myself. Again, I had almost lost control, and I despised myself for it.

Drawing up a short distance from the field, I reached around me.

"It's over Bella."

When she unlatched herself, I felt her slope down my back. A squelching sound followed. "Oh!" she yelped. I wheeled around only to discover Bella sitting on her backside with her legs outstretched in front of her. Her upturned hands were speckled with sediment and nettles.

My concern was replaced by hilarity as I watched her face contort into successive expressions of bewilderment and exasperation. My mouth twitched opening a tide of laughter.

Bella scrambled to her feet wiping clumps of dirt and flora from the back of her jacket. And smarting at my response, she stormed towards the woods.

Before she could take two paces, my arms belted her around the waist. "Where are you going, Bella?"

"To watch a baseball game. You don't seem to be interested in playing anymore, but I'm sure the others will have fun without you."

"You're going the wrong way."

She twirled around, and her chin led the way in the other direction. I trapped her once more with one arm above her chest barring the way.

"Don't be mad, I couldn't help myself. You should have seen your face." I snickered but managed to tame another outburst.

Her eyebrows lifted incriminatingly. "Oh, you're the only one who's allowed to get mad?"

"I wasn't mad at you."

"'Bella, you'll be the death of me?'" she said in a tart imitation.

"_That_ was simply a statement of fact."

She went to wriggle from my hands once more, but there was no way for escape.

"You were mad," she protested.

"Yes." I agreed.

"But you just said —"

"That I wasn't mad at _you_. Can't you see that, Bella?" She had misinterpreted my frustration. All embers of amusement were doused at once. "Don't you understand?"

"See what?" she challenged.

Suddenly, I was especially conscious of my words. "I'm never angry with you — how could I be? Brave, trusting… warm as you are?"

"Then why?" Bella's bruised voice scored a deep perimeter around my heart. When she peered up at me, hurt was calculable in her eyes cutting out that dead organ from my chest.

I cupped her face in my hands. "I infuriate myself," I said. "That way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to —"

Bella capped my mouth with her hand. "Don't"

Taking her hand, I held it to my face. "I love you," I professed. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true."

It was the first time I said this to Bella… aloud. My justification for resisting in the past was that there were no words important enough to express how I felt. And yet, I knew quite well kingdoms were built and brought down on those three words.

I surveyed the expanse of my own inner empire for Bella and feared what those words from me would impose on her. No good could come from Bella strengthening her connection to me. By no means did I desire anything that would only result in bringing her harm. But to her ruin, it was the first time I said I loved her — and with all my missing principles I would never hesitate again.

I whispered, "Now, please try to behave yourself." I stooped down lowering a kiss to her mouth.

She remained appropriately stock-still. Afterwards, she listed against my right hand and sighed. "You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember? We'd better get going."

"Yes, ma'am." Still warm from her kiss, I dressed my lips with a smile and let her go save for her hand.

Past high growing ferns, through dangling Lazarus moss, and around the stoutest hemlock, I led the way into a clearing hidden in a dale of the Olympic range. When we cleared the forest's final barriers, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie were in sight lounging on a rock formation that overlooked the open space. Carlisle was occupied designating bases while Alice and Jasper played catch in the outfield a half-mile ahead.

They heard us coming but didn't approach as Esme instructed. She did not want a brigade of vampires descending on Bella all at once. My mother came away toward us followed by Emmett who stared at Rosalie's back when she rose up like an iceberg to join Alice and Jasper on the field.

_Edward_, Rose mentally acknowledged, _and Bella… donna. _I credited my sister for actually knowing another type of _donna_ besides the prima variety. However, aside from her internal slight of Bella to the poisonous nightshade, Emmett kept his word, and Rosalie behaved. Even her thoughts remained relatively benign. I didn't care for her unsociability, but with Rose, being ignored was always preferable to outright hostility.

"Was that you we heard, Edward?" inquired Esme when Bella was in earshot.

Emmett was making a face. "It sounded like a bear choking."

Bella threw a thumb at me and confirmed, "That was him."

On cue, Alice sprightly covered the distance of the field and sailed to a stop in front of us.

_You made it! _She chirruped inwardly and without her typical fanfare, outwardly broadcasted. "It's time."

With ominous synchronization, thunder clashed its way westward charging the atmosphere.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett said with a mystical lilt to his voice. He then mentioned silently, _No need for an introduction. We're already pals_. And winked at Bella.

"Let's go." Alice presented her hand to Emmett. Hand-in-hand they loped into the field.

"Are you ready for some ball?" I said in a live inflection that matched the turbulent air.

With lackluster enthusiasm Bella cheered, "Go team!"

I laughed, rifled her hair, and blasted after Alice and Emmett quickly overtaking them.

"Shall we go down?" I overheard Esme say. Always the gracious host, she guided Bella to the clearing_. Look at the way she looks at him. There's no doubt she's smitten! And why not? She couldn't find a more thoughtful, beautiful soul then Edward._ Esme extolled to herself.

I knew Bella was in safe hands, but I was unsure of the security of my manly reputation. I snooped around Esme's mind as they talked.

"You don't play with them?" asked Bella.

"No, I prefer to referee — I like keeping them honest."

During their exchange, Emmett was picking teams. "Okay, me, Rose, and Ed—" Rose sent him a dirty glare, "— um, Jazz..." In turn he looked to Jasper and pointed his eyes to Rosalie pressing him into service again. Jasper nodded. "…versus Edward, Alice, and Carlisle." Emmett said finalizing the roster.

In the distance, Bella continued, "Do they like to cheat, then?"

"Oh yes — you should hear the arguments they get into! Actually, I hope you don't, you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves." There was a smile in Esme's voice and on her face when I gazed in their direction.

"You sound like my mom," Bella chuckled and Esme included her own laughter.

"Well, I do think of them as my children in most ways. I never could get over my mothering instincts — did Edward tell you I had lost a child?"

"No," Bella sputtered.

"Yes, my first and only baby. He died just a few days after he was born, the poor tiny thing," Esme sighed. "It broke my heart — that's why I jumped off the cliff, you know."

Bella lowered her voice. "Edward said you fell."

At that second, Alice aimed the ball at my head. I caught it an inch from my nose.

_What?_ "I'm warming up," Alice said wide-eyed shrugging her shoulders.

I turned to my sister. "By the way, thanks for the clothes and everything."

Alice smiled a, "you're welcome." Then I returned a fastball that she had to catch with both hands.

"Always the gentlemen." I overheard Esme say. "Edward was the first of my new sons. I've always thought of him that way, even though he's older than I, in one way at least." My mother's tone sang with feeling as she continued. "That's why I'm so happy that he's found you, dear." From where I stood, Esme's eyes glittered like gems at Bella. "He's been the odd man out for far too long; it's hurt me to see him alone."

"You don't mind, then?" Bella implored. "That I'm all wrong for him?"

I almost yelled in protestation across the field.

The ball pegged me this time, "Sorry Edward!" Jasper sniggered. But my focus was on a conversation a half-mile away.

"No." After a moment of reflection Esme added, "You're what he wants. It will work out, somehow."

Then at the clangor of thunder we assumed our positions on the pitch. Carlisle played shortstop with Alice as pitcher. I was far off in left field, but I could see that Bella and Esme reached the edge of the clearing that served as sidelines.

Emmett's team was up first. He wielded the bat like a sword. This bat was specially reinforced with compound metals. Likewise, the ball was something Emmett had specifically fashioned to endure great impact. Despite their durability, however, my family could obliterate dozens of bats and balls in one game. We didn't bother with gloves.

Jasper crouched several yards behind Emmett lending himself as catcher for my team. He could differentiate in minute detail Alice's various pitches. In the spirit of sportsmanship and fair play, he usually kept that advantage to himself.

Alice, in turn, could identify Jasper's various batting postures with comparable acumen, which she wasn't above tattling to her teammates when she and Jasper were on opposing teams.

"All right," Esme officiated. "Batter up."

Alice claimed her place on the pitcher's mound facing right field and held the ball in her hands at her waist. She looked forward, then over her left shoulder nodding at Emmett who was performing a couple of warm-up swings. She then looked ahead again cocking her arm in a straightforward windup. With a sharp snap of the wrist, the ball whipped from her hand into Jasper's with a thwack.

Through Esme's perceptions, I heard Bella ask, "Was that a strike?"

"If they don't hit it, it's a strike," Esme confirmed.

Jasper fielded the ball into Alice's ready hand. A superior smirk crossed her face, and without warning she launched another pitch.

But this time Emmett made contact. The resulting clash reverberated across the landscape. He was already rounding the bases with Carlisle a half step behind him.

Backing into the forest, I tracked the ball meteor through the sky. The ball soared above me as I zigzagged past trees and scurried over the undergrowth. As it plummeted to the earth, I sprung into the air. The ball plunked into my hand.

"Out!" Esme called.

In a flash, I shouldered past the edge of the forest hoisting the ball over my head. Although a distance away for her eyes, I smiled triumphantly at Bella.

Emmett was our most powerful hitter, but I was the fastest runner. He kicked up veils of dirt when he left home plate without a hit.

Jasper got a grounder much to Alice's irritation. After a body check into Carlisle, Jasper made it to first base. "Safe," Esme judged without hesitation.

When I caught the third out, we finished the inning with a score of one to zero. Rosalie had managed to steal home on one of Emmett's fly balls.

Between innings I dashed to Bella's side. "What do you think?"

"One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major League Baseball again."

"And it sounds like you did it so much of that before," I razzed.

"I am a little disappointed."

I stared at her for a second. "Why?"

"Well, it would be nice if I could find just one thing you didn't do better than everyone else on the planet."

My face split into a gargantuan smile.

"I'm up," I announced. With another look to Bella I darted to home plate.

As if attuned with Alice's forecast, nature continued the duet with our artificial thunderstorm. By the end of the second inning my team was up by one. I hit a ground ball and slid into second before Jasper could tag me out. Next, Carlisle's homerun hit crashed through clearing that it visibly startled Bella. Carlisle and I both crossed home plate, met with a high-five from Alice.

After three more innings, endless heckling and jeering, and several unavoidable scuffles, with Esme's umpiring keeping us in check, my team was leading by two runs. It was Carlisle's turn at bat with me catching.

Then in a bolt of surprise — Alice gasped.

My head jerked to her to witness her frame arrest in an attitude of shock. Alice's eyes momentarily slid out of focus before they glued onto mine. For an instant, her vision blinded me to my surroundings.

_They_ _were coming._

I was at Bella's side before Esme broke the compressible silence. "Alice?"

"I didn't see — I couldn't tell." Alice shook her head as if to clear a bad reception.

My family crowded around us.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle quietly commanded.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the perspective wrong before."

Jasper hemmed in closer detecting Alice's self-targeted blame. "What's changed?"

"They heard us play, and it changed their path."

My eyes flickered to Bella, where a half-dozen pair of eyes congregated briefly then looked away. The thoughts of my family bombarded me in blitz.

Then with identical suddenness, all focus fell on Carlisle when he spoke to me, "How soon?"

I could scarcely respond as shock, anger, and fear, mostly fear coursed through me. "Less than five minutes. They're running — they want to play."

"Can you make it?" Carlisle's eyes flashed to Bella again then returned to me as permutations of escape went through my mind in a blur.

"No, not carrying —" My sentence was trampled by my next thought. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

Emmett turned to Alice. "How many?"

"Three."

"Three!" Emmett shucked the word out of his mouth. "Let them come." Punching his palm then wringing his hands together.

We looked to Carlisle.

"Let's just continue the game," he directed. "Alice said they were simply curious."

_Edward_. Esme beckoned me internally. Her lips quivered with a question. I shook my head. She was relieved with my reply, but it wouldn't ground my arcing panic.

"You catch, Esme." I was pantomiming the appearance of control. "I'll call it now," and I moored myself in front of Bella.

The others trooped into the infield scanning the depths of the forest for signs of the visitors. Alice and Esme posted themselves as sentinels at Bella's side. Both silently vowing they would let no harm come to her.

"Take your hair down," I grumbled

Bella removed the elastic band from her hair and arranged it over her shoulders.

"The others are coming now." she said. The simplicity of this statement dramatized her vulnerability.

I was powerless to withhold the strain in my voice. "Yes, stay very still, keep quiet, and don't move from my side, please." I then drew cords of her hair to the front of her shoulders shrouding her face and throat.

"That won't help," Alice noted colorlessly, "I could smell her across the field."

My false composure was withering. "I know."

Carlisle was at bat resuming the game. The others followed in pretense.

"What did Esme ask you?" Bella spoke again, and in my hysteria, I nearly carried her off.

The muscles in my jaw were jumping. "Whether they were thirsty."

Bella's eyes dropped away from mine. We both looked ahead. My mental scopes spanned for foreign voices as my vision scavenged the forest.

There was a countdown of dread the instant Alice gasped. The visitors were approaching. A fracas of my family's thoughts buzzed in the background, most blaring were Rosalie's aspersions, but they were overpowered by my own self-condemnation. _How could I be so stupendously careless!_

"I'm sorry Bella," I uttered in wretched antipathy for myself. "It was stupid, irresponsible, to expose you like this. I'm so sorry."

Then my lungs asphyxiated honing in at something beyond right field. With ultrasonic awareness, my mind was filled with the percussion of footfalls rivaling the pounding of Bella's heart.

Carlisle, Emmett, and the others snapped to attention in the same direction, as my family distinguished the incoming invaders tear towards the clearing. My wits sharpened against the single-minded focus of Bella's defense. And I aligned myself between them and her, shielding Bella from the advancing menace.


	8. Chapter 19: The Hunt

19. The Hunt

_Ready or not here I come_. He warned unseen. It was one of the few thoughts I plucked from the invaders. Their inner voices were distorted, overpowered by a contest to see who could find us first. It was a game they played en route to interrupting ours.

Communicating by hand signals, they traversed the terrain like an experienced infantry. And in a staggered formation they sliced through the last margins of the forest.

He was the first to breach the clearing — an indescript male, the owner of the voice, the leader. He broke his stride allowing a second darker male to take point. With feline mobility, the female ghosted behind them. My attention was briefly struck by the sight of her hair, which rose like the color of flames. As they crossed the remaining field, the invaders tightened their lines.

It had been some time since my family encountered strangers of our kind. It was always unsettling. Now the moment harrowed. They stalked forward, but respectful to my family who marked a territory already claimed.

Despite their unsuspecting attire — durable jeans, thick shirts, and camping outerwear — tattered edges and bare feet gave them away as something feral and suspicious.

The darker complected male at the helm of their spearhead pattern was of average build with short inky black hair. His Mediterranean coloring, although matte by an immortal's skin tone, wasn't the only aspect that differed from his friends. A Parisian accent that voiced his thoughts seemed out of place in their company. It was faded by centuries of nomadism, but that clip distinct tongue was unmistakable. He presented a porcelain smile that was seemingly genuine as it was curious.

The female's orange mane was mired with bits of debris and foliage. The volume of it compensated for her male companions' closely cropped cuts. Her thoughts remained garbled as her visual prospect shifted from one person to the next. Her eyes dialed in on Rosalie who was slightly behind Emmett, and in an infantile voice, the female selected Rose as her primary threat or more accurately, her chief competition.

The leader, a tuff of brown hair, unexceptional features, and a slighter physique than the Frenchman, remained in the rear. He also strayed on Rose but for different reasons.

The leader's sightline appeared deceptively stagnant; however, he evaluated each stranger, fortunately glossing over Bella secreted behind me, lingering on Rosalie and Esme, halting on Alice then widening the ambit of his gaze to encompass my entire family. His eyes, like his sidekicks, flared red, fresh from a recent hunt.

They were quick to assess Carlisle whose evident refinement stood in vivid contrast to them. Emmett and Jasper winged him like bodyguards. In reaction to being outnumbered, the invaders straightened out of their crouch-like prowl in a show of submission.

"We thought we heard a game." The Frenchman said as he approached Carlisle. "I'm Laurent, these are Victoria and James." He introduced the vampires stepping up beside him.

My father returned, "I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, and Alice, Edward and Bella." He gestured in general directions, vaguely indentifying the owner of each name. When my father mentioned _Bella_, every one of my muscles tightened like strings on the tuning pegs of a violin.

"Do you have room for a few more players?" asked the Frenchman named Laurent. His interest to socialize with a _coven of civility_, as he phrased it in his mind was sincere.

Carlisle paralleled the Frenchman's openness, "Actually, we were just finishing up. But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?"

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

"No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves."

When the pleasantries began the mood became noticeably less intense thanks to Jasper. He ratcheted his talent to its full compass.

"What's your hunting range?" Laurent queried, but Carlisle overlooked the obvious.

"The Olympic Range here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We keep a permanent residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali."

Laurent, perplexed by this bit of information, tottered on his heels. "'Permanent?' How do you manage that?"

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably?" Carlisle proposed. "It's rather a long story."

The leader and the female traded looks at the word "home," but Laurent's curiosity subordinated his surprise.

"That sounds very interesting, and welcome." With formality, Laurent accepted Carlisle's invitation. "We've been on the hunt all the way from Ontario, and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while." He reviewed my father's groomed appearance with anticipation.

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand."

"Of course," Laurent conceded. "We certainly won't encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle anyway." As he chortled, the scene from his memory unfolded in his mind — under a highway off ramp four vagrants attacked in a shanty camp. Their drained bodies buried by a creek bed. The names of Ralph Palazo and Michael Turk flashed in Laurent's thoughts as he remembered handing two of the victims' IDs to the leader.

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us — Emmett and Alice, you can go with Edward and Bella to get the Jeep." Carlisle suggested, but his next words died in his mouth.

In the worst possible timing, a salvo of many things going wrong all at once fumbled before my eyes.

A northerly breeze altered its direction and pipelined Bella's scent right to the invaders. My body set like mortar at this betrayal.

At that instant, the leader snatched the air and leveled his eyes on Bella. _What do we have here?_

He inflated his lungs obscenely and in a seamless movement dropped into a killing crouch. The entire assembly — Bella, my family, the invaders — fibrillated like one organ.

Back arched, palms to the floor, lips curled, eyes trained like a sniper on the leader, a primal growl lacerated past my throat.

"What's this?" The Frenchman gibbered in amazement, but my focus would not be divided from the leader.

_My, my, look at this pretty little thing._ The leader leered inwardly and made a gambit to the left for a better vantage point. I mirrored him in an aggressive counterstroke.

"She's with us." Carlisle threatened.

That's when the Frenchman detected Bella's scent. The import of his thoughts was evident on his face. "You brought a snack?" He was truly baffled and took a step toward Carlisle.

Another bestial roar sundered from my throat. My lips retracted far above my gums, exposing teeth champing to gnash the invaders into refuse, into nothingness. The Frenchman cowled back.

"I said she's with us," Carlisle said with cold castigation.

"But she's human," the Frenchman argued.

Emmett puffed up his chest and cocking his head back, answered him. "Yes."

My brother's metallic reply and show of strength forced the leader out of his attack stance. But he would not draw down his slaughterous stare.

Something about my behavior betrayed that I did not protect Bella simply as a possession, a pet, some plaything, and he knew it. _This fool has a _thing_ for her_. He drawled internally skimming over Emmett and Carlisle. _They all do? How novel. Now, this is going to be fun._

Hackles up, my shoulders lowered for a charge.

In an attempt to quell the increasing militance, the Frenchman fluted, "It appears we have a lot to learn about each other."

"Indeed." Carlisle said tightly.

"But we'd like to accept your invitation." The Frenchman looked fleetingly at Bella and then to Carlisle. "And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We won't hunt in your range, as I said."

With interior malice, the leader dismissed the Frenchman's promises. _Speak for yourself, Laurent._ _This is something I've been waiting for, for a long time._ Despite a bland front, the leader was exultant. Then I saw something in his thoughts so revolting it gored me.

He passed an underhanded glance to the female, whose crafty eyes matched the maniacal cackle in her head.

Carlisle assessed the Frenchman before accepting that he was aboveboard. Although this could not be said for Laurent's companions, my father's invitation won a bid for Bella's escape. "We'll show you the way. Jasper, Rosalie, Esme?" Carlisle recruited.

In my family, there were no weak allegiances when one of us was threatened. They cloistered around Bella in a phalanx. Alice swiftly shot to Bella's side as Emmett taking front guard faded back to meet us. Both our visions were still fused to the leader.

Like the Frenchman, the leader made his own promises. His mouth stretched into a slit of a smile. It was then his chilling valediction defiled my thoughts. _Until we meet again, Bella. I have so many things in store for you._

My pupils fogged over with naked hate. I sought to murder him then and there. I wanted to feel his skull pulverize between my hands.

_Go, go, go…_ It was Carlisle's internal urgings that impelled me to act. "Let's go Bella." I ordered. Still reeling from what I saw, from what I heard.

Bella stood like a mannequin that I grasped her elbow to wrest her from paralysis. With Emmett and Alice forming a second wall of concealment, I guided Bella toward the forest. As she wobbled along beside me, my control became less enforceable.

At last we reached the thick trim of woods. I flung Bella on my back. Her arms and legs cinched around me. With swiftness unknown to me before, I howled through the forest. Alice and Emmett were a gap behind as fear leant me even more speed.

Short of a minute the Jeep was in view. Without slowing momentum, I swung Bella onto the backseat. Emmett next skated beside her. "Strap her in," I directed my brother as Alice joined me in the front.

A hard twist to the ignition, the engine groaned. The torque of screeching tires sprayed a fountain of mud in indiscriminate directions as I reversed towards the road. With the grinding of gears and a stomp to the gas pedal, the Jeep then fishtailed forward.

My thoughts began to aggregate as I took stock at what just happened. I had once vowed, _no more mistakes_, and now I commented the worst crime. Because of it, Bella's life was threatened. _I should be hanged._ I said to myself in disgust, which was followed by an audible flux of curses.

With no regard for the rugged topography, I mowed a short-cut to the highway, testing the Jeep's suspension. In the rear-view mirror, Bella jostled in her harness; but gratefully I could see that no one pursued us.

Alice and Emmett watched for the invaders through their windows, and for now it appeared we eluded them. Once we reached the highway, I struck out south, away from the menace, away from Forks.

"Where are you going?" Bella questioned. I didn't answer. My silence inspired muteness from my siblings.

"Dammit, Edward! Where are you taking me?"

The Jeep devoured the pavement before us as I stood on the accelerator reaching a hundred and five miles an hour. "We have to get you away from here — far away — now."

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" Bella began to unfasten her restraints.

"Emmett," I murmured. He pinioned her hands in a grip.

"No! Edward! No, you can't do this."

"I have to, Bella, now please be quite."

"I won't! You have to take me back — Charlie will call the FBI! They'll be all over your family — Carlisle and Esme! They'll have to leave, to hide forever!"

"Calm down, Bella." My face went rigid with suppressed anger. "We've been there before."

"Not over me, you don't!" You're not ruining everything over me!" She thrashed against Emmett's hold with no result but florid cheeks. I would _not_ allow defiance. Making Bella safe was paramount before anything or anyone else.

Then in a quite but carrying voice Alice spoke, "Edward, pull over."

I threw my sister a granite stare and pushed the speedometer to its limits.

"Edward, let's just talk this through." Alice persisted.

"You don't understand," I railed. "He's a tracker, Alice, did you _see_ that? He's a tracker!" At the word, "tracker," my siblings quickened with apprehension. They now fully appreciated my desperation. That's when I saw it again, a macabre montage of his favorite kills, the systematic ploys used to stalk his prey, the grisly rituals enjoyed to torture his victims. Propelled by panic, my foot fell hard on the accelerator.

"Pull over, Edward," Alice said commandingly. There was no trace of her usual quirkiness. I shut her out and glimpsed the red needle edge pass one hundred and twenty.

"Do it, Edward." Even with what I told her, Alice wasn't letting this go.

"Listen to me Alice. I saw his mind. Tracking is his passion, his obsession — and he wants her, Alice — her, specifically. He begins the hunt tonight." Within moments of catching Bella's scent, he slated her as his next kill. The tracker's bloodlust was tangible so much so that it was inseparable from him. He _was_ his thirst. He would stop at nothing until it was sated.

"He doesn't know where —"

Cutting my sister's reply, I pushed my point. "How long do you think it will take him to cross her scent in town? His plan was already set before the words were out of Laurent's mouth."

Bella gasped with her entire frame. "Charlie! You can't leave him there! You can't leave him!" She writhed against the bands and straps of her harness while Emmett still penned her hands.

"She right," Alice asserted. _Charlie's in danger._ A vision glimmered in Alice's mind of the tracker lurking at a window with Bella's father in view.

By a fraction, I eased the gas pedal. Then Alice said in quelling tone, "Let's just look at our options for a minute."

The Jeep slowed as I released pressure from the accelerator whereupon I hit the brakes. Bella was thrown forward in her seatbelts then propelled back.

"There are no options." I mumbled with frigid resistance.

"I'm not leaving Charlie!" Bella shouted.

_To hell with Charlie, to hell with my family, to hell with everyone_

"We have to take her back." Emmett decided to weigh in then. Leave it to my brother to fold at a woman's duress.

I bit my cheek. "No."

"He's no match for us, Edward. He won't be able to touch her."

"He'll wait."

Emmett gleamed. "I can wait, too."

"You didn't see — you don't understand. Once he commits to a hunt, he's unshakable. We'd have to kill him."

"That's an idea." This option appealed to my brother who was eager to mete out whatever was necessary to neutralize the threat.

"And the female. She's with him. If it turns into a fight, the Frenchman will go with them, too."

"There are enough of us."

Then with religious dedication Alice pressed, "There's another option."

Tearing my eyes from the road I faced her, "There — is — no — other — option!" Each word was punctuated with frustration. Bella and Emmett boggled at me, but Alice remained unflinching. In the intervening seconds, we locked into a duel of wills.

It was Bella who stopped the silence. "Does anyone want to hear my plan?"

"No." I barked. This infuriated Alice. She stared me down like a serpent preparing to strike.

"Listen," Bella urged. "You take me back."

"No," I repeated.

She then matched Alice's glare. "You take me back. I tell my dad I want to go home to Phoenix. I pack my bags. We wait till this tracker is watching, and then we run. He'll follow us and leave Charlie alone. Charlie won't call the FBI on your family. Then you can take me any damned place you want."

All eyes turned to Bella.

"It's not a bad idea, really," Emmett said unhelpfully.

Alice added, "It might work — and we simply can't leave her father unprotected. You know that."

All eyes turned to me.

"It's too dangerous — I don't want him within a hundred miles of her." The imperative was Bella's safety. _Why were they fighting me on this?_

"Edward, he's not getting through us." My brother continued. _Why didn't they get this?_ Along with Bella's blood, opposition was what this tracker wanted.

After a moment with her thoughts, Alice offered an affirmation, "I don't see him attacking. He'll try to wait for us to leave her alone."

Although the scenes from her mind corroborated her claim, I wasn't swayed. "It won't take long for him to realize that's not going to happen."

"I _demand_ you take me home."

This was followed by Alice's interior warnings that broadcasted through my brain. _He'll kill him. Can't you see that? He'll kill Charlie. And I don't have to tell you what that will do to Bella._ Jamming my fingers to my temples, I crammed my eyes shut. Alice was right. I didn't have to view her visions to know that it was true.

"Please." My heart tugged as Bella's quite plea had its own persuasive power. It was completely wrong, but I felt myself begin to buckle to their plan.

Beleaguered, I didn't open my eyes as I said, "You're leaving tonight, whether the tracker sees or not. You tell Charlie that you can't stand another minute in Forks. Tell him whatever story works. Pack the first things your hands touch, and then get in your truck. I don't care what he says to you. You have fifteen minutes. Do you hear me? Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep."

The engine vroomed when I switched on the starter. In a tight u-turn, I steered the Jeep toward Forks bearing down on the gas pedal with tires wailing in protest beneath us. The speedometer's gauge once more orbited to the other side of its axis.

Bella stared at my brother's beefy hand still manacled around hers. "Emmett?"

"Oh, sorry." And he promptly let her go.

At the drone of the Jeep's engine, we lapsed into another silence as I finalized the plan in my mind.

I then vocalized, "This is how it's going to happen. When we get to the house, if the tracker is not there, I will walk her to the door. Then she has fifteen minutes." I cast a, _this is_ _non-negotiable,_ look at Bella in the rearview mirror. "Emmett, you take the outside of the house. Alice, you get the truck. I'll be inside as long as she is. After she's out, you two can take the Jeep home and tell Carlisle."

"No way," Emmett jumped in on my last directive, "I'm with you."

"Think it through, Emmett. I don't know how long I'll be gone." I tried applying to his sense of reason. But like the thumbing of prayer beads on a string, "No, no, no, no, no…" the mantra repeated in his head. Emmett wasn't listening to me.

"Until we know how far this is going to go, I'm with you," he reiterated.

I heaved a sigh, knowing this is where my brother would not give in. "If the tracker _is _there," I resumed bleakly, "we keep driving."

"We're going to make it there before him," Alice verified. I foraged through her thoughts and could see that we _would_ beat him to Bella's house. But that the tracker was racing us there proved Charlie's endangerment.

Alice looked over at me. "What are we going to do with the Jeep?"

"You're driving it home."

"No, I'm not."

Obscenities spilled from my mouth in a tribal incantation.

"We can't all fit in my truck," Bella said delicately in a way to dispel the escalating friction.

She next muttered below a whisper, "I think you should let me go alone."

I was wrong. Bella clearly aimed to gall me.

"Bella, please just do this my way, just this once." After an expulsion of air, I was ready for another fight.

"Listen, Charlie's not an imbecile," she argued. "If you're not in town tomorrow, he's going to be suspicious."

"That's irrelevant. We'll make sure he's safe, and that's all that matters." What a fat lot of good it would do to trot Bella out for the tracker's advantage? We might was well place her on platter and ring the dinner bell.

"Then what about this tracker? He saw the way you acted tonight. He's going to think you're with me, wherever you are."

Emmett turned to her in surprise. _The human has something here._ "Edward, listen to her," he counseled. "I think she's right."

"Yes, she is," Alice concurred.

"I can't do that."

"Emmett should stay, too," Bella went on. "He definitely got an eyeful of Emmett."

He gawped at her. "What?"

"You'll get a better crack at him if you stay," Alice said expanding on Bella's argument.

"You think I should let her go alone?" With a dark glare, I questioned my sister's mental stability.

"Of course not," Alice said, "Jasper and I will take her."

Disregarding her insane offer, I reemphasized, "I can't do that," but it lacked the impact I intended.

"Hang out here for a week —" at the mention of a week's separation, I balked as Bella spoke to me through the rearview mirror. She quickly revised "— a few days. Let Charlie see you haven't kidnapped me, and lead this James on a wild-goose chase. Make sure he's completely off my trail. Then come and meet me. Take a roundabout route of course, and then Jasper and Alice can go home."

This was unacceptable, but I allowed Bella to make her case. Through the mirror, I held her in an interrogating stare. "Meet you where?"

"Phoenix."

"No. He'll hear that's where you're going."

"And you'll make it look like that's a ruse, obviously. He'll know that we'll know that he's listening. He'll never believe I'm actually going where I say I am going."

Emmett snorted, "She's diabolical."

"And if that doesn't work?" I said disconcerted at how abruptly I was giving thought to her proposition.

"There are several million people in Phoenix," she reminded me.

"It's not that hard to find a phone book."

"I won't go home."

"Oh?" I huffed.

Bella harped on, "I'm quite old enough to get my own place."

Alice once more tendered her earlier suggestion. "Edward, we'll be with her."

"What are _you_ going to do in _Phoenix_?"

"Stay indoors."

Emmett mulled over the idea, "I kind of like it."

"Shut up, Emmett." I sniped.

"Look, if we try to take him down while she's still around, there's a much better chance that someone will get hurt — she'll get hurt, or you will, trying to protect her. Now, if we get him alone…" As my brother chewed on the possibility of a close quarters hand-to-hand death match, I had to acknowledge there was sense in Bella's scheme. But I just couldn't brave the idea of being apart from her — not being able to protect her, not just from this tracker and countless other unknown dangers, but from herself. Bella wouldn't hesitate to act the martyr to avoid risking anyone's discomfort.

We were now within Fork's boundaries. I slowed the Jeep to a moderate speed to evade attention. With the abandonment of my counterarguments, Alice and Emmett knew I had surrendered to Bella's wishes. They resumed reconnoitering from their windows while I agonized over the high stakes at play and an uncertain future.

"Bella." My voice lowered in volume but increased in intensity. "If you let anything happen to yourself — anything at all — I'm holding you personally responsible. Do you understand that?"

"Yes." Her eyes widened and she tried to swallow.

I served Alice a look. "Can Jasper handle this?"

"Give him some credit, Edward. He's been doing very, very, well, all things considered."

"Can _you_ handle this?"

Alice lost it. Civility morphed into a ferocity rarely displayed. Her lips recoiled into a fearsome sneer as a growl let loose from her throat. Bella quailed back into her seat. Then Alice followed this with an internal litany of blasphemies highlighting my name. I only grimaced in return.

"But keep your opinions to yourself," I said with the final word.


	9. Chapter 20: Goodbyes

20. Goodbyes

Every light in Bella's home shone like a beacon, making it clear that Chief Swan was awake and awaiting his daughter's return. My earlier oath cut through my conscience, _"She'll be safe with me, I promise, sir."_ And I had failed outright. Charlie would never trust me again.

In a stealthy crawl, I reared up the Jeep well behind Bella's pickup. Along with Alice and Emmett, we sat bolt upright sentient to sound, movement, anything that would announce itself as unusual. When I silenced the engine, my mental sensory primed for the tracker's presence.

"He's not here." I determined and gave the order, "Let's go."

Emmett was already unbuckling Bella from the nylon rigging. "Don't worry, Bella," he said, "we'll take care of things here quickly." _I was going to hold him to that. _

Bella looked at him through corpulent tears that teemed then flowed from her eyes. Even for Emmett, a behemoth of might and virility, the sight of her anguish clobbered him._ Geez, poor kid…_ Feeling awful, he was unsure how to react until my voice called him to action.

"Alice, Emmett." They moved swiftly but noiselessly from the Jeep to their posts.

I opened Bella's door, took hold her hand, and circumscribed her into the hull of my arm. Zealously canvassing the perimeter, I partnered Bella in a close hold onto the porch. My hands latched onto her shoulders as I addressed her, "Fifteen minutes." Then I let her go.

Air sawed through Bella's lungs. She swallowed compulsively. "I can do this," she coached herself but hadn't turned to the door.

Then in a pounce, she launched herself at me grabbing my cheeks. Her hands singed my skin and stunned me motionless. Bella peered up at me from under the straight line of her brow.

"I love you." She was indomitable. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now."

My voice balanced on a knife's edge, "Nothing is going to happen to you, Bella."

"Just follow the plan, okay? Keep Charlie safe for me. He's not going to like me very much after this, and I want to have the chance to apologize later." Still holding my face, Bella drew me in closer. Urgency shimmered through her tear-filled eyes.

But at that precise moment, sirens sounded in my gut and in my head warning me that _he_ was coming. Without question, once the tracker discovered our trail, found the high school or some other landmark, Bella's scent would deliver him here. My scalp tingled.

"Get inside, Bella. We have to hurry." I said almost begging.

"One more thing." Within that second, her forcefulness stopped the fissions in my concentration. I looked at her. "Don't listen to another word I say tonight!"

The illumination from the porch light limbed across Bella's features. I bent forward for her next instruction as she wet her lips about to say something. She then climbed up onto her tiptoes and eyes sparking, kissed me full on the mouth.

Despite her human fragility, the volition of her kiss knocked me into a neural freakout. She next dragged herself away from me and barreled through the front door. I touched my swollen mouth.

"Go way, Edward!" Bella screamed and gave me one last emblazed look before banging the door shut on my thunderstruck face.

"Bella?" Chief Swan nervously called. He was shambling around downstairs with the television uncharacteristically off.

"Leave me alone!" she bawled. I heard her scamper up the stairs, slam her bedroom door and lock it. Like a well-aimed arrow, I zinged to her window and sighted Emmett and Alice patrolling the area that was still free of the tracker.

Charlie rapped hard on the door fairly terrified. "Bella are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm going _home_," Bella yelled with a limp duffle bag in one hand and a lumpy sock in the other. I was already through her window with Bella's back was to me. I sniffed around, found the Chevy's key lying on her desk and palmed it.

"Did he hurt you?" Charlie was fuming.

"No!" she screeched. She swiveled around to see me grab a heap of clothes from her dresser and toss it to her.

"Did he break up with you?" Her father's anger was now attenuated by confusion.

"No!" Bella said in a winded shout as she stuffed the last of the clothes I threw to her.

Chief Swan clubbed the door with the side of his fist. "What happened, Bella?"

"_I_ broke up with _him_!" Her fingers jittered attempting to zip up the duffle. I moved her hands away zipping up the bag, carefully placing the strap on her shoulder.

"I'll be in the truck — go!" I soughed in her ear. Then I prodded her to the door before flying out the window.

At the sound of the door unlocking and her strenuous steps down the stairs, I tarried restlessly on the porch. My siblings remained on guard circling the house.

"What happened?" Charlie blustered following right behind her. "I thought you liked him?"

They had both reached the bottom of the staircase, but Bella's progress alarmingly ceased. Chief Swan was not going to make this easy.

"I do like him — that's the problem. I can't do this anymore! I can't put down any more roots here! I don't want to end up trapped in this stupid, boring town like Mom! I'm not going to make the same dumb mistake she did. I hate it — I can't stay her another minute!" Bella cried stomping towards the front door.

"Bells, you can't leave now. It's nighttime." Charlie's temper had cooled into a wounded whisper.

"I'll sleep in the truck if I get tired."

"Just wait another week," her father implored. "Renée will be back by then."

"What?" Bella's arguments abruptly lost their footing.

_Don't stop. Hurry Bella, please! _

Charlie spoke, "She called while you were out. Things aren't going well in Florida, and if Phil doesn't get signed by the end of the week, they're going back to Arizona. The assistant coach of the Sidewinders said they might have a spot for another shortstop."

After several insufferable seconds, Bella murmured, "I have a key."

The front door's knob twisted. I was about to dash to her truck when I noticed the knob's rotation halt.

_Oh no!_ Alice's inner voice bifurcated my attention. When she whipped around the side of the house, the picture played cinematically in her mind. It was as I feared — the tracker scenting Bella with a hundred times the cunning of a hound making a flat-out madman's push to the Swan residence. It was unclear how much time we had left. Panic gusted inside me. I reached for the doorknob ready to barge through and make off with Bella.

"Just let me go, Charlie."

There was movement again at the door. My fingers released the knob like a hot coal sprinting to her truck the moment before she flung it open.

"It didn't work out, okay? I really, really, _hate_ Forks!" And with that, Bella ran out door and ran out on her father. It was her last injurious words that stayed Charlie at the threshold.

I hid in the Chevy with the key inserted in the ignition. Alice, after briefing Emmett, was already stationed in the Jeep. My brother positioned himself nearby amping to intercept the tracker — _alone_.

Yoked by the duffle bag, Bella hunched into the darkness making a run for the Chevy. She then lobbed the bag over into the truck bed and yanked the door open. Without looking back, she hustled inside the cab. Her hand gripped the key, "I'll call you tomorrow!"

The truck's engine kicked-up uproariously. Bella throttled it as Chief Swan still shadowed the doorway to see his daughter skid out of sight.

Emerging from the footwell, I placed my hand over hers. "Pull over."

"I can drive." Her voice was clotted from crying.

My arm slid around her waist as my foot displaced hers on the accelerator. Taking her by the hips, I plucked her from the driver's seat over my lap and assumed the wheel.

"You wouldn't be able to find the house," I said.

From behind, two cones of light suddenly flooded the cab. Bella jerked around.

"It's just Alice," I allayed and took her hand.

"The tracker?"

"He heard the end of your performance."

"Charlie?" Bella said aghast.

The tracker was much farther afield than I had imagined, but in his manic pursuit of Bella, he circumvented the Swan home completely overlooking Charlie. "The tracker followed us. He's running behind us now."

"Can we outrun him?"

"No." But my foot pushed the gas pedal nonetheless. With gallant exertion, the Chevy chugged on as if knowing his owner's life was threatened.

Bella twisted around so that the Jeep cast her face in a spotlight. Her cheeks were sheened with tears. Then out of the night, a ghostly figure filled the passenger window. Bella let out a hysteric shriek. My hand that was holding hers flew to her mouth before the second passed.

"It's Emmett!" I exclaimed and dropped my hand to wind it around her waist. Emmett continued to run along the side of the truck Secret Service style.

"It's okay, Bella," I heartened. "You're going to be safe." I floored the accelerator that was already at its maximum facility and linked up to the north highway. Bella clung to me as her heart beat triple time.

"I didn't realize you were still so bored with small-town life." I was resorting to small-talk to divert her attention, "It seemed like you were adjusting fairly well — especially recently. Maybe I was just flattering myself that I was making life more interesting for you."

"I wasn't being nice." Bella wore a pained expression; her gaze fell to her lap. "That was the same thing my mom said when she left him. You could say I was hitting below the belt."

I wanted to envelop her in a hug but could only tuck her into my side, "Don't worry. He'll forgive you."

There was an attempt on my part at a smile. It was weighed down with anxiety. Bella's countenance mimicked my inward distress.

"Bella, it's going to be all right," I maintained.

Her voice paled into nothing, "But it won't be all right when I'm not with you." She ended up mouthing the words. It destroyed me.

"We'll be together again in a few days." My arm squeezed her to me. I added in an effort at levity, "Don't forget that this was your idea."

"It was the best idea — of course it was mine." She said half crying, half laughing.

I glanced at her with a labored short-lived smile.

"Why did this happen?" Her question came out segmented through her tears. "Why me?"

With a frank stare to the road before me, I acknowledged, "It's my fault — I was a fool to expose you like that."

"That's not what I meant," Bella objected. "I was there, big deal. It didn't bother the other two. Why did this James decide to kill _me_? There're people all over the place, why me?"

"I got a good look at his mind tonight," inchoate thoughts wormed their way to the surface, "I'm not sure if there's anything I could have done to avoid this, once he saw you. It _is_ partially your fault," I teased. Though there was no breaking up the overwrought mood.

"If you didn't smell so appallingly luscious, he might not have bothered. But when I defended you… well, that made it a lot worse. He's not used to being thwarted, no matter how insignificant the object. He thinks of himself as a hunter and nothing else. His existence is consumed with tracking, and a challenge is all he asks of life. Suddenly we've presented him with a beautiful challenge — a large clan of strong fighters all bent on protecting the one vulnerable element. You wouldn't believe how euphoric he is now. It's his favorite game, and we've made it his most exciting game ever."

Thanks to me, Bella was a fugitive. I didn't put up a struggle against my self-avarice. "But if I had stood by, he would have killed you right then."

"I thought… I didn't smell the same to the others… as I do to you."

"You don't. But that doesn't mean that you aren't still a temptation to every one of them. If you had appealed to the tracker — or any of them — the same way you appeal to me, it would have meant a fight right there."

I felt Bella quake beside me. I tightened my arm around her.

"I don't think I have any choice but to kill him now," I resolved. "Carlisle won't like it."

The wheels of the Chevy bumped over the slats of the Calawah River Bridge. We would soon reach my home, the last outpost before Bella's plan forced us to part. Now at this eleventh hour, I was still undecided if I could separate myself from her, even for the sake of the plan. _If there was only another choice._

Bella focused me on the immediate. "How do you kill a vampire?"

My eyes took in her careworn face. "The only way to be sure is to tear him to shreds, and then burn the pieces."

"And the other two will fight with him?"

"The woman will. I'm not sure about Laurent. They don't have a very strong bond — he's only with them for convenience. He was embarrassed by James in the meadow…"

"But James and the woman — they'll try to kill you?" Panic entered her voice.

"Bella, don't you _dare_ waste time worrying about me. Your only concern is keeping yourself safe and — please, please — _trying_ not be reckless."

"Is he still following?"

All the while, I scrabbled for the tracker's thoughts. He had drifted further back. He would not gamble an offensive against a heavily defended target. His mind worked with martial order that I speculated if like Jasper, he was a soldier in his past life.

Before he slipped from my mental fix, I caught a lucky break. He was to rendezvous with the female, Victoria, before his next move. The remainder of his strategy was undeterminable, and worst yet, adaptable.

"Yes. He won't attack the house, though. Not tonight."

I took the ninety-degree bend onto our drive with Alice right behind us and Emmett running shotgun. Our convoy was pulling up to the porch steps when Emmett hooked the handle of Bella's door. He opened it and deftly nabbed her from the seat before the truck juttered to a halt. Like an infant, Emmett carried Bella into the house.

I was at his side with Alice covering the other when we rushed past the front doors. My family was on high alert when they recognized the Chevy and the Jeep approach. Although surprised, they were ready to receive us.

In the center of the group, Laurent froze. Emmett disgorged a bassly snarl as he returned Bella to me.

Glowering at the Frenchman I charged, "He's tracking us."

"I was afraid of that." Laurent was displeased with this news and at being the mark of my wrath. A wrath that was only contained by the thinnest membrane of restraint.

Alice skipped over to Jasper. Leery of the stranger in our midst, she whispered that he join her in her room where she would bring him up to speed on our plan. As they wisped up the stairs, Rose moved in to claim Emmett settling an artfully sculptured glare towards Bella.

"What will he do?" Carlisle quickly surmised that our plans had drastically altered when he questioned Laurent.

"I'm sorry," the Frenchman offered. "I was afraid, when your boy there defended her, that it would set him off."

"Can you stop him?"

"Nothing stops James when he gets started." He shook his head more disappointed that his own plans were disrupted.

Emmett's gaze encircled our family. "We'll stop him."

"You can't bring him down. I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He's absolutely lethal. That's why I joined his coven." Laurent only confirmed what I knew.

He suddenly favored Bella with a look of intense interest then returned his regard to Carlisle. "Are you sure it's worth it?"

Fury erupted through my ribs and from my throat in cavernous growl that seemed to jangle the joists and masonry. Laurent's dismissal of Bella made him an easy target. His face pinched, and he shrunk back.

Carlisle took charge. "I'm afraid you're going to have to make a choice."

Laurent was aware that this would happen when I faced-off with James in the field. He waffled inwardly with his decision, separately engaging each of us. Then his vision described a wide arc across the great room.

"I'm intrigued by the life you've created here. But I won't get in the middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won't go up against James. I think I will head north — to that clan in Denali."

His tone turned austere. "Don't underestimate James. He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won't come at you head on… I'm sorry for what's been unleashed here. Truly sorry." He lowered his head in a propitiating gesture then fitted Bella with another confused glance.

Carlisle extended his hand, "Go in peace,"

_Bon chance._ Laurent remarked to himself. Yet, there was something false behind his courtly smiles. He would readily switch to whichever side suited him.

The Frenchman enjoyed a final view of our home and made his exit. Within a beat of the doors closing, Carlisle turned to me. "How close?"

Esme was at the security controls tapping in codes. Louvered steel panels brayed as they rolled over the wall of windows and clamped shut.

Over the din, I answered, "About three miles out past the river; he's circling around to meet up with the female."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll lead him off, and then Jasper and Alice will run her south."

"And then?"

"As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt him." I anticipated opposition but received none.

"I guess there's no other choice."

In order for the plan to work we needed to move. I looked to Rosalie. "Get upstairs and trade clothes."

My sister wore her disgust like a garment. "Why should I?" thrusting her chin combatively forward, "What is she to me? Except a menace — a danger you've chosen to inflict on us."

Bella winced at Rose's insults, which was akin to a slap in the face.

"Rose…," Emmett muttered abashed. He checked her with a hand to her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

Time was evaporating before us. Although I was absolutely apoplectic at my sister's behavior, it merited a non-response from me.

I turned to my mother. "Esme?"

"Of course."

Before Bella could react, Esme scooped her up in her arms and spirited up the stairs to swap clothes. It was an old trick of confusing scents. One small measure to impede the tracker.

As I headed for the kitchen, Carlisle addressed my sister gravely. "Rosalie, I'm ashamed of you." He needn't say another word. By Rose's reaction, it was more than enough of a dressing down.

Emmett followed me with Alice and Jasper sliding down the staircase right behind. My brothers exited the backdoor for the garage while Alice remained in the kitchen awaiting my final directions.

I noticed she had a black case in her hand. I began to fill my own backpack with supplies. As I stuffed it with maps, matches, lighter fluid, and cash from the storage cabinets of our unused kitchen, I glanced over at her. "Don't let Bella out of your sight. And if she comes up with any more ideas, I don't care what they are, she is not to do anything outside the plan."

"Edward." Alice said my name in a tone that indicated I was stating the obvious.

I wrangled several cell phones in my hand. "Don't forget her mealtimes. Remember she'll need to eat more frequently than we do." Alice nodded.

"Bella is undeviatingly inquisitive. Whatever you do, keep all your _conversion_ prophecies, soothsaying, and fortunetelling to yourself. I mean it, Alice." My sister's face hosted a quizzical expression for an instant, but inwardly answered, "Okay, okay."

"And Alice…"

Her inner voice stopped me. _She'll be safe with us._ _I swear she'll never be without me._ I gave her a half-hearted smile.

We returned to the great room where Carlisle had his head bent to Rose giving her his own set of orders. We were shortly joined by Emmett who just finished topping off the get-away vehicles, including Bella's pickup, with gas.

Alice winged up the stairs to wait for Bella.

After I pocketed one and pitched another to Emmett, I handed the rest of the freshly charged mobiles to Carlisle. He had worked out a sequenced departure of vehicles in his mind. From what I saw it was a good plan. But we were nearly at the point when I would have to say goodbye to Bella. My support of that plan lost its purchase.

Jasper reappeared. He must have recognized the stress fractures in my composure when he approached me. _You have my word. I will guard Bella with my life. Alice and I will keep her safe._ Jasper's silent oath did not calm me; but, I felt some assurance that allowed me to entrust Bella in their care.

"Thank you, Jazz." My voice became stiff with emotion. "I know you will." And I clasped his arm in appreciation.

_You found her then._ I heard Jasper's voice again. It was of a man empathetic yet grateful that it wasn't him this time. _I understand completely._

Like a ninja star, Carlisle tossed a cell phone to him. It cartwheeled across the room before Jasper picked it out of the air. Carlisle then passed one to Rose who was keeping her choice remarks for me and Bella inside her head this time.

Dressed in my mother's clothes, Bella emerged on the landing with Alice and Esme at each elbow. They alighted down the staircase in a graceful swoop. Carlisle then began to apprise everyone on the next step of the stratagem. Courteously, he directed his attention to Bella.

"Esme and Rosalie will be taking your truck, Bella," he said as he distributed a mobile to Esme and one to Alice with Rose frowning at him like a petulant brat.

"Alice, Jasper — take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the south." They nodded in agreement.

"We're taking the Jeep." Emmett went to Carlisle's side as he spoke.

"Alice," Carlisle called, drafting her into service, "will he take the bait?"

She shut her eyes and stilled in meditation.

Then her eyelids switched on like headlights. "He'll track you. The woman will follow the truck. We should be able to leave after that."

Carlisle marshaled, "Let's go," and proceeded towards the kitchen.

This was happening. And it was happen far too soon.

In one stride, I swarmed up to Bella in an embrace. My family politely turned their notice away from us. I held her fast to me that I could feel flesh over muscles and muscles over bones.

I breathed her in.

There were so many things I meant to tell her, so many things I hadn't said. I took her face into my hands. And with every undeveloped word, I kissed her. It was warm and ambrosial on my lips. Then sadly, gently, I set her down.

It would go against everything I had become to say goodbye. There was a finality in it that wouldn't allow me to go through with the task ahead. Not letting go of her face, tears ridged and burned over my hands.

I breathed her in.

The pain in my throat and in my chest was a comfort to me. I wanted Bella's scent trapped inside me forever.

With one last look into those liquid brown eyes, I was struck with a crystalline clarity on what needed to be done. It was at that moment, I set myself on the reckoning I intended for the tracker and steeled myself away.

And we were gone.

As soon as we hit the main road off our drive, James was on our tail. Emmett was with me in the backseat. Earlier, he had pulled out a curious bundle covered in a blanket. He explained that he and Jasper had taken one of Alice's dress forms and created this decoy of Bella.

Underneath the blanket, Jasper had thrown one of the girls' dark wigs and a t-shirt he pilfered from Bella's duffle bag. "Ingenious!" Carlisle lauded. I was more than impressed, and I threw my arm around it for effect.

It was working. James continued his pursuit. The female remained behind just as Alice had envisaged. I was on the phone to Esme. I listened hard for Bella's voice but only heard Esme alert Rosalie, "Now," before she closed the signal.

When the security shutters were deployed, our home was a virtual black hole for sound even to a vampire's bionic hearing. However, the sealed barricades held a weakness against my telepathy. Although we were a few miles out, I canted about for anything from the house.

My phone buzzed in my hand. "Yes." It was Esme affirming Victoria was following them. We kept our conversation to one word.

I next called Alice and gave the all clear for them to take off. I wanted her to give the phone to Bella but thought better of it. Over my shoulder, I could see that that James continued to follow us. I pulled the decoy into my chest.

Then out from the darkness, Jasper's voice traveled to my mind. The transmission was compromised with distance and static interference from the crosswire of noises around me, but through his thoughts, I heard him, and through his vision, I found Bella.

She was shaking from crying. A soft fist cushioned her mouth.

"You're wrong, you know," he said.

Bella hiccupped with a start, "What?"

"I can feel what you're feeling now — and you are worth it..."

Then the reception died.


	10. Chapter 21: Impatience

21. Impatience

Into the night, we had gone north up the 113 then east on the 112 skirting the Sound. We wouldn't risk a course that included any hindrances and opted for a seemingly indirect route to maintain momentum. The tracker in keeping with the plan followed the Jeep as we dropped south to Tacoma then north on the 5 in straight shot. James maintained a calculated distance.

Emmett pointed out that like us, the tracker was keeping out of range from our prying ears while he communicated with his accomplice, Victoria. That may be part of the reason for his caginess. Yet, something wasn't quite right. James was suspicious. If Emmett was correct, and through Victoria, James learned that other vehicles left our home, the tracker would know something was up.

It was my presence that kept him on our trail, that and Jasper's decoy. The way I had reacted in the field convinced James that I would never leave Bella. This is what I banked on as we raced to the North Cascades where an ambush awaited him.

When the snow-shawled mountain range that spined from Washington to British Columbia came into view, an impatience closed over me. Carlisle and Emmett caught my mood. We wanted to take this James out quickly.

Dawn was few hours away when a signpost announced our intended destination was within miles. The migratory occurrence of black bears, cougars, and the occasional grizzly made the North Cascades a decent hunting ground for my family. We knew the terrain well. It was chosen for this operation for that very reason.

The road entered a pass where the trees' long branches ribbed out like flying buttresses in a cathedral. With Carlisle still flooring the gas, I looked to Emmett. Simultaneously, we both shoulder-rolled out of the Jeep and out of sight.

We moved from one hiding place — a tree, a boulder — weaving a shallow pattern on either side of the road. James' scent was in the air, but damn if I could place it. His thoughts were even more elusive. Every attempt to sync up with his mind failed. When we backtracked to the open highway, James still remained unseen and unheard.

It was decided Carlisle would park the Jeep and safeguard the area around it knowing the tracker would seek out Bella there. We could triangulate more effectively with a stationary target. Emmett and I split up on either side of the road scouting for James' trail.

He was near. I could feel it even if the forest wouldn't give him up. Moving in increments, I allowed myself to sense for a displacement, the slightest disturbance in the atmosphere. The minutes could have been hours as I waited for an inkling of his exact whereabouts.

Then without prescience, James' thoughts surrounded me in an animal call. My head and body twisted in a whirlwind. Ultimately, with viewfinder focus, I spotted him standing on a rise of earth a number of miles away. Venom pounded through my limbs feeding my nerves and muscles. _Now the hunter becomes the quarry._

Centering the tracker in my sights, I waggled my fingers at him bidding him to come, to settle this now. The only gesture he made was a smirk of boredom.

Signaling Emmett, I charged through the densely foliated glen in a direct line to James while Emmett looped around to close in from behind. I swiftly closed the gap between us. In a few moments, I was going to wring the flesh from his face.

"Amateurs…" the tracker yawned then back-sprung off the butte disappearing from view.

I shot forward like a cold seeking missile and found James retreating into the compact forest. I gave chase but immediately lost visual contact. Layers of panic packed my chest. I knew he couldn't outrun me, but he was a far better trickster. My only chance to salvage our plan was to trap him here.

There was a vibe in the air that a hunt was in progress. The living inhabitants who called this place home seemed to sense it. The report of wildlife scattering from an area several miles to my left indicated James was heading toward Diablo Lake. "Lake," I texted Emmett and rushed ahead in my pursuit.

At an overlook, I glimpsed James circumference the steep lake shore. He peered up at me archly before cutting in between two birches. Their rapier-like branches gave the impression of swordsmen about to duel. That's just what I wanted.

In no less time it would take to hurl a rock through those sparing birch trees, I pushed my way into the valley. The frenzied first wave of fleeing animals set off a rippled exodus throughout the vicinity giving way to a stuffing silence. Even the wind and water became inert.

"It's just me and you now. Come out and face me you coward!." My voice went no further than the space before me, but James heard me.

I scanned the shoreline of Diablo Lake and found Emmett a mile upriver. I pointed into woods behind me. Emmett nodded and ran towards its direction. As I turned away from the lake, the turquoise pool gurgled an incoherent warning. Spanish explorers had named these waters and its surrounding forest primeval after the devil. I felt his presence here. In one fast move, I elbowed into the ranks of soldier pines and aspens to meet him.

The fragrance of maidenhair and licorice covering the understory of ferns was carried by the moisture in the air. But in its package was the scent of an immortal. "Show yourself!" I shouted. There was no answer. There was no sound.

James' scent led me east where the rainforest's lush plant life thinned under a more sere climate. After countless miles and several false leads, I crossed courses with my brother.

If either one of us cornered the tracker, we were to text our location or let out a signal that would be picked up by our supersensory hearing. For hours there was nothing but the song of the forest. Emmet was shaking his head as we both came to a stop.

_Have we lost him_? He husked inwardly. My brother's frustration was only outmatched by my own. We both understood that if we didn't kill James here, our con would be uncovered. And to my dismay, it appeared the tracker had decamped completely.

My cell phone purred in my pocket. It was a text from Carlisle that read, "_ER back clear here._" In the event of being hacked or tapped, it was established protocol that we spoke and texted briefly and in code. From my father's message, I learned that Esme and Rosalie had returned to Forks and that Carlisle was just as unlucky with the tracker as we had been.

It was well after noon when we met up with him. He had remained in the proximity of the Jeep that was parked far off State Route 20 and had hid Bella's decoy underneath the backseat. If the tracker came within radius of the Jeep, his vampire vision would recognize the dress form as an imposture. But at the very least, its complete disappearance would hopefully stump him.

Carlisle placed Bella's t-shirt in my hand that he removed from the stashed decoy and saved for me. I hefted the folded fabric. Bella's scent winnowed into the air before I tucked in my inner pocket.

Crestfallen, I hung my head. "There's no trail. No sign. Nothing."

"What about Rose and Esme?" Emmett flopped his eye-line onto Carlisle.

"They drove west on the 101 and made it to Olympia before running out of gas. Victoria double backed to Forks. Rosalie was able to track her on foot."

Despite our streak of losses, the scent confusion stunt had held the female's interest long enough for Bella to make her escape. _They_ _must be past the Arizona border by now._ She was safe, but at this stage it was by no means permanent.

James had left nothing leading nowhere. Unlike tracking an animal or even a human, there were no footprints, no telltale broken shrubbery or flattened vegetation, nor interruptions in the soundscape. Natural order remained undisturbed. There was only his scent trail that at times jinked in a straightaway only to be lost to sharp angles and reappear again in another confounding location.

From our clash on the baseball field, he knew we were fighters, but he also now knew that we were not the most experienced trackers. And he called our bluff. It appeared we were victims of some elaborate stagecraft in retaliation to our poorly mounted ruse.

My patience was wearing thin. It was as if, like mind-reading was for me, _invisibility_ was his talent.

Then abruptly my thoughts congealed as warning chafed against my skin. A voice that contained all the warmth of prerecording squirmed into my head. _Amateurs_…

My muscles corded wanting to twist away from my bones. "He's here!" I cursed.

Carlisle and Emmett lunged forward onto their hands readying for an attack. I scented the air. There was nothing. They did the same and likewise came up empty.

With the Jeep as the center, we spread out like spokes from a wheel. There was an unappeasable need in me to hurt something, to kill something. KILL JAMES.

A short diameter away, Emmett yelled out, "Got it!" When I sided my brother in the pursuit, James' scent at last ribboned the air. He was close.

Carlisle went to retrieve the Jeep. I texted the word, "South" then boosted my speed, quickly outstripping Emmett. Kicking over the forest floor, my heels never met the ground. I couldn't lose the tracker. _I would not lose him._

For half a day, we hung on James' trail always one move behind. The sky's pallet had turned a dreary boiled gray. Its low cloud cover folded over each end of the horizon like a dirty quilt. Sheltered from the sun, we could travel unencumbered. It also meant the tracker held the same advantage.

At an outlying suburb of Vancouver, Carlisle pulled into a gas station to refuel the Jeep and call the hospital alerting them that he was attending to a family emergency. That was what this was a million times over.

Vancouver was as far as we were able to trace James. Yet, there was no evidence he had fled the area. Emmett and I had ringed the perimeter, checked every point of egress. Unless he escaped by way of the Pacific, our instincts told us that he was lurking somewhere within Vancouver's limits and might be ferreted out.

With a full tank of gas, Carlisle ditched the Jeep at a Radisson subterranean car park to join our search party on foot. We remained separated to cover as much ground as possible. We were to report to each other every hour, but before the next hour's deadline, my cell phone came alive in my hand_. "Airport."_ It was a text from Emmett. My anger and frustration developed planetary proportions.

When I found myself in a vacant alley, I gouged one wall with my fists and kicked a hole in another. I arrived at the car park with my father only moments after me. Carlisle's battered expression said what I already realized.

James knew Bella wasn't with us. He didn't go to the airport to leave a false trail. He had boarded a plane. The tracker's best option was to go back to where this began. He was on his way back to Forks and would most likely reconvene with Victoria to decide their next strategy. His choice was obvious. That we lost him again, distant warnings belled.

This time I drove and made it to the airport without any idea how we got there. We assumed Emmett would be curbside waiting to be picked up. But adding to my ailing patience, he was nowhere in view. I ditched the Jeep in a loading zone and along with my father blew through the automatic glass doors.

It was nearing evening and at an interval when the usual airport bustle was at an ebb. At the far end of a ticket counter, I found my brother. He was conversing with an airline agent as Carlisle and I approached.

Emmett glanced over to us. "Oh, here they are. Kimberly, I'd like you to meet my father, Dr. Cullen, and this is my brother, Edward."

The agent detached her gaze from Emmett to rest it on Carlisle and then after a prolonged second to me. _Gee!_ She commented interiorly. From her Midwestern accent, I recognized she was a fellow Chicagoan turned Canadian resident. Carlisle and I both nodded in reply at Emmett's introduction.

"This is Kimberly." My brother unfurled his hand to her. "She's kindly assisting me with our… situation. Aren't you, Kimberly." Emmett's high wattage grin reminded me of a denture commercial. As for Kimberly, her equally affected smile overshadowed her other features.

"Um, Kimberly? Paging Kimberly," Emmett teased. Her eyes climbed back on to him and flickered skittishly under a fringe of blonde bangs. But when Emmett's fingers danced in midair, she attacked the keyboard.

Carlisle and I remained silent as my brother continued, "You see, I explained to Kimberly how our cousin James, released from institutional residency, may have took an unauthorized holiday." Emmett punctuated this line with a wink to the airline agent. "We just want to make sure he's okay without any needless entanglements."

This is what Bella meant by, "dazzling." I've witnessed it performed by any member of my family. As Bella often accused, I've employed it myself. However, this time, with surgical concentration, I watched my brother make his finest effort to glean information that could put us back on James' trail.

An agent three computer terminals away cocked a suspicious eye toward our little grouping. His nameplate advertised himself as, "Cooper." He wiped a hand over his bald head and took a step in our direction. But in a moment of fortuity, a harried traveler plopped an carryon on the counter before him. A vein that forked on Cooper's forehead wiggled.

_Edward, security cameras._ My father mutely cautioned. He shifted himself in such a way that obstructed the view of two visible surveillance cameras. I did the same. We couldn't block all of the cameras covering this end of the ticket counter, but any amount of visual impediments would help deter curious airport security. There was still the matter of Cooper as I held him in my peripheral vision to my left.

In between checking in piece after piece of luggage, he volleyed investigative glances toward his coworker's direction. Under my brother's spell, Kimberly remained unaware of any scrutiny and continued her arpeggios on the keyboard.

The traveler at Cooper's terminal then initiated an argument about checking in her Bichon Frise dangling in a carrier under her arm. Beads of sweat appeared on the agent's reddening pate, and his interest in Kimberly's project atrophied.

"Here you go. These are the passenger manifests for the four flights that left for Sea-Tac in the last five hours." Kimberly simpered as she passed Emmett a sheave of papers and engaged him with a look one could only describe as worshipful.

The ego boost my brother enjoyed at being able to do something good in this bad situation plummeted when he examined the lists. His thoughts smudged together before I could read them. Then remembering himself, Emmett took the agent's hand and remarked, "Kimberly, you rock. Your attention to customer service is only eclipsed by your beauty." And he kissed her hand.

Kimberly stretched out for Emmett as he backed away from the counter. My shoulder bumped into his when I stole the papers from him.

"Thank you Kimberly, you were a great help," Carlisle concluded then joined us as we disappeared past the doors.

Emmett told Carlisle, "He took a puddle jumper to Seattle."

"What is it?" My father queried when Emmett and I stalled near the Jeep that remained unmolested in the loading zone.

I showed Carlisle one of the lists. Through his eyes I saw it again. _Passenger #44 Edward Cullen._ Icicles formed on the back of my neck. The tracker somehow used my name for his escape to Seattle.

Half-crazed, I stared numbly at the road careering the Jeep past the outflows of airport traffic back to the highway. Downshifting gears, it willingly accepted an abusive velocity. For the most part, neither one of us said another word as we sped southward toward Washington. The upbraiding silence was only broken when I pounded the steering wheel and repeated chain after chain of expletives.

James may be demented, but he wasn't stupid. When he discovered our ruse, he opted against a clean getaway and risking entrapment, chose to goad me to resume the chase. He wouldn't have done so without a plan. _But what of his plan? What were his motives?_

Although blocked in obtaining his prize, he was disturbingly unconcerned. Avoiding combat, but maintaining a trace, it seemed he didn't want to lose being hunted as much as I didn't want to lose him as my prey. He was not only a skilled tracker but a trained target. James actions were enigmatic as they were aggravating, capably eluding every single one of my telepathic nets.

There was one thing I did learn. The tracker was disappointed. When I glimpsed his thoughts in the Cascades, the game was becoming tiresome. James was expecting a challenge, a perfect unalloyed experience. But for him, this contest lacked the complexity, the sophistication he yearned for. He deemed this event beneath even that of a children's board game.

My mind drifted, and I was reminded of another game that I've observed humans play with children. Someone would stick out their palm and prompt, "Gimme five!" and the child would slap the offered hand. The instigator would raise their hand higher and encourage, "Up high!" and the child would eagerly swat the hand again. "Down low!" and the extended hand would drop several inches from its starting point. As the small hand swung over to hammer the last "gimme five," it would miss as the presented palm retracted all together along with the taunt, "You're too slow…" James was right. We were amateurs.

The sun was making its vanishing act behind a tarp of clouds hastening the night to begin its shift. Free from the danger of being overhead, Carlisle was on the phone to Esme.

"She went straight for the Swans', but everything's okay. Chief Swan wasn't home," Esme reported.

An early bird, Charlie had already departed for work. Esme was staying on him for protection. She ordered Rose to cover Victoria.

Rosalie was fully, although begrudgingly, on board and had tracked Victoria from the Swan residence to the high school, the Thriftway, the roads leading in and out of Forks, and out to SeaTac. Though, just as her male counterpart, Victoria proved a challenge to shadow.

"Darling, we just left the airport. We believe James will be landing in Seattle and headed for Forks," Carlisle cautioned.

"I see…" Esme's voice held all the distress that I could no longer keep at bay.

Carlisle relayed that she was to stick with Charlie. Rose was to watch Victoria who would inevitably reunite with James. They were to keep clear of the hostiles until we arrived.

"I love you, too. Be safe." Carlisle spoke into the phone before snapping it closed.

_Be safe._

In a lost corner flared a memory of a time when Bella's greatest threat was — me.

Despite Emmett's and Carlisle's companionship, within the confines of the Jeep, a capacious loneliness came over me.

Carlisle detected what would be fractional changes to human perception. He verbalized my thoughts into action. "We should call Alice."

When I dipped my head in agreement, he had my sister on the phone and rapidly recounted what Esme had told him.

Knowing Bella was just on the other side of line, I was desperate to rip the phone from Carlisle's hand but demoralized after another fiasco. What would I say to her?

"How's Bella? Is she all right?" Carlisle inquired.

We didn't wait long for a reply.

"Yes."

Both relieved, Carlisle responded with, "Good."

He then updated her on what meager progress we had made. I grew more dispirited.

"He's on a plane back to Forks," Carlisle sighed his discouragement.

Even though we could hear their conversation perfectly well, my sister's next words prompted Carlisle to switch on the mobile's speaker function placing it in its holster on the dash.

"I just saw him."

She then explained the scene she witnessed — a long room with wooden floors and mirrors that wrapped along the space, their coverage only interrupted by a horizontal band of gold that bisected the walls into two halves — James watching and waiting. She went on to describe another vision of the tracker operating a VCR and studying the fuzzy lights and images of a television screen.

Alice said conclusively, "Whatever made him get on that plane… it was leading him to those rooms."

I gripped the cell phone in a fist and asked for Bella.

"Bella?" Alice questioned. Before I repeated myself Bella's voice broke through.

"Hello?" she muttered breathlessly.

I tamped down competing feelings of longing and fear and thumbed the phone off from speaker.

"Bella." I made my voice sound even.

"Oh, Edward! I was so worried."

"Bella," I hauled in a long breath, "I told you not to worry about anything but yourself." Her line of concern was all wrong, but hearing her, knowing she was safe, salved any annoyance.

"Where are you?"

Keenly aware of Bella's stress-laden tone, I said, "We're outside of Vancouver. Bella, I'm sorry — we lost him. He seems suspicious of us — he's careful to stay just far enough away that I can't hear what he's thinking. But he's gone now — it looks like he got on a plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over."

"I know. Alice saw that he got away."

I had lost the tracker and Bella knew it. Failure challenged my honor, my pride, and by admission, my ego. There was only one consolation. James was going to a place where she wasn't.

My confidence in that part of plan bolstered me a little. "You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."

"I'll be fine. Is Esme with Charlie?"

There was something about what she said and the way she said it that had my alarm bells ringing again, but she had also asked about her father. "Yes — the female has been in town. She went to the house, but while Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near him, so don't be afraid. He's safe with Esme and Rosalie watching."

"What is she doing?"

"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through the town during the night. Rosalie traced her through the airport, all the roads around town, the school… she's digging, Bella, but there's nothing to find."

"And you're sure Charlie's safe?"

"Yes, Esme won't let him out of her sight. And we'll be there soon. If the tracker gets anywhere near Forks, we'll have him."

"I miss you."

"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you."

"Come and get it, then," she dared in that tiger-kitten way that always slayed me.

"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I _will_ make you safe first."

"I love you."

Her voice floated the hundreds of miles to me.

"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?"

"Yes, I can, actually."

"I'll come for you soon."

There were tears in the breathing between her words. "I'll be waiting."

After a silent farewell, I slowly folded the phone. When the connection was lost a dark pneumatic feeling flowered in my heart.


	11. Chapter 22: Two Rooms

22. Two Rooms

Making decent time, we arrived in Forks a little after two hours. A persistent rain welcomed us home. I didn't take my usual comfort in it. After two days we had accomplished nothing. There was only one slim silver lining.

Following several phone calls, Emmett obtained confirmation that an _Edward Cullen_ had indeed landed at Sea-Tac airport. James had just an hour on us. If his plan was to connect with Victoria, with any luck we would corner him here.

Although James' allegiance with Victoria didn't present any true solidarity, the female may choose to interfere which would mean a death wish we would be obliged to honor. There was no relishing the prospect of it. I just wanted this whole thing over and done with. If that meant two vampires would meet their end, so be it.

When Carlisle spoke with Esme, she was minding the Swan home. Esme could see that Chief Swan had the TV on, but he was occupied with placing calls and leaving messages for Bella's mother. Knowing Charlie, he wouldn't get any rest until he knew his daughter was safe. When this was finished, Bella would have a lot of explaining to do.

It was settled that Esme would keep an eye on him until we confirmed James was dead. Carlisle called Rosalie next.

"I lost her," was Rose's jaded greeting.

"When?"

"Five minutes ago —"

"What do you mean you lost her!" I yelled before Rose could finish.

My sister fired back on top of me. "You heard me!"

Carlisle wouldn't hand the phone over when I reached for it. He continued, "What happened?"

Now at the front of our home, I slammed on the breaks waiting for a response. Rose didn't answer.

"Rose." Carlisle commanded.

"Look, she got away. I followed her through the park then she disappeared."

I banged my head against the back of my hands that were strangling the steering wheel.

After a few further seconds of silence Rose went on. "I didn't mean to lose her. She knew she was tagged. I kept my distance, but it was like she was tipped off."

"Rose, I want you to go to the Swan residence. In all probability Victoria is with James," Carlisle speculated. "We'll resume the search from here. _You_ stay with Esme."

After hanging up the phone, he looked to me then to my brother as we entered through the front doors.

Emmett spoke up. "Right. We should split up. I'll take the park —"

"No, I'll take the park," I interrupted and pulled the backpack over my shoulder. After what we learned from Rose, it was likely that Victoria didn't go far to meet up with James. They could still be in the area. My brother figured this.

"They could be anywhere. Chances are they're not near Forks now." Carlisle was one step ahead of us. "Alice said she saw the tracker in two rooms. He should be heading there now, which means he will be in a place where there are people — a town, a city. But we should make certain that neither James nor Victoria are in _this_ _town_ or anywhere nearby."

My father then proposed, "I think one of us should search Forks beginning from town center while two scope out north and south. There's a chance we'll locate a recent trial. And we can box the tracker in."

Since the start of the hunt, I lacked perspective. I thought of myself as a surgeon operating on himself. My grossly impaired rationality made my efforts laughable. Taking my father's lead, I attempted to extrapolate forward, "If the tracker knows Bella isn't with us he might believe she never left Forks. Even if he believed she isn't here, he'd want to be sure."

Emmett knocked his fists together. "Well, when he doesn't find her, I'd be happy to add to his disappointment."

At this, my brother agreed to take the southern leg and I relented to take the northern half. Carlisle would begin his search in Forks. We set off immediately.

Midnight came too soon and without a promising outcome. In four hours, I had quartered territory as far north as Neoh Bay across to Port Townsend crisscrossing my way down the cape. Emmett had trekked down to Olympia then East to Tacoma. Carlisle was able to trace Victoria's scent in town. It was faint, but it was definitely vampire. There was not a whiff of James.

After our fruitless searching it was apparent that both James and Victoria were nowhere within the Peninsula. I, along with Carlisle and Emmett, assembled back at our home. In a perverse game of déjà vu, it was like we were reliving Diablo Lake again. It was pathetic.

Carlisle had brought out various maps and spread them out on the dining room table to decide our next tactic.

With a jump, my cell phone hummed against my chest.

"Alice?" I answered and hit the speaker button.

At once Carlisle and Emmett flocked around me.

"He's going to Bella's house," Alice warned.

"Let's move." I ordered.

I was about to flick the phone closed when Alice interjected, "No, listen. He's coming to Phoenix. Bella's house in Phoenix."

"What?" I said in sheer bewilderment.

"I had another vision of the VCR room. When I sketched it out, Bella recognized it as her mother's home. And there's another thing. The room with the gold band — it's the dance studio she went to years ago. It's not far from the house."

Alice's voice trammeled.

"He's coming for her." She finally muttered. The cold venom that ran through my veins turned to ice.

Alice whispered into the silent connection, "Edward?"

"I can't believe this is happening…" I uttered leadenly. "I'm taking her away… out of the country…"

Emmett had the backpack in his hand after emptying it of anything that would be considered travel contraband and was crossing to the front door. I followed lockstep with my father beside me. The phone was still on speaker.

Carlisle took it from my hand. "Alice, _we_ are going to get Bella out of there as soon as we can." I gazed at my father in silence too shell-shocked to protest.

"We're heading for the airport now," he said. "We'll call you before our flight." Then he closed the phone and placed it back into my pocket.

"Give me one moment." Carlisle disappeared upstairs to his study and reappeared with his medical bag. Emmett slanted a glance to me. He had noticed the bag, too. We mutely agreed not to acknowledge the omen.

I remained taciturn when Emmett drove. Carlisle, seated in the back, was on his cell phone making arrangements. The side of my head fell unto the passenger window as I let my misery overtake me.

Emmett risked a look my way, "Hey bro, we got this."

When he realized I wasn't going to respond, he counted up his thumb and then his forefinger. "Get Bella the hell out of Phoenix. Hop on the first flight out. Done and done. No problem." Emmett said with over-confidence.

I sank into a bog but managed to lob a series of questions at him that weltered in my brain. "What about the dance studio? What about that? Alice saw James in that room first. Why would he be there? And where's the female in all this? We thought he came to Seattle to reconnect with her, but all this time he was on his way to Phoenix!?"

Emmett waited before answering me. "I don't know. There was always the possibility he'd go to Phoenix when he heard Bella plant that false lead. It just shows he's desperate." Contemplatively, he added, "He knows Bella's not with us. Okay. Point goes to him. His choices are to stay in Forks to lie and wait for her or head to a place that may offer more clues to her location. He has nowhere else to go."

Emmett took his eyes from the road and turned his head to me. "If he's in Phoenix, he's definitely snooping around, but we'll be long gone before he knows it."

I considered my brother's logic. "If he knew how close he is… Emmett, if anything were to happen to Bella…" I rubbed the heels of my hands into my eyes to erase my thoughts.

Carlisle finished his conversation with one of his travel contacts. "No charters are available until this afternoon. But there's a redeye leaving for Phoenix at three-thirty. We should be there before ten o'clock their time. This is the fastest option."

"That'll work!" My brother snapped his fingers, brighter siding things. "You see, we'll have Bella out of Arizona before James has any idea what's happening."

Disconsolate, I nodded as the Jeep skimmed the road with phantom speed.

Emmett had us at Sea-Tac within an hour. There was time to park the Jeep at an extended stay lot and for Carlisle to contact Esme with an update.

On the drive to the airport, Carlisle, Emmett and I established a new plan.

Once through the doors, we went straight to the gate where Emmett verified James' flight from Vancouver had landed. As anticipated, James' scent was there. It led to a ticket counter then to another gate in concourse three.

Learning from our last mistake, we didn't stop there. After frittering away four hours searching for him in the wrong location, we could no longer make assumptions about James' behavior.

I went to work in obtaining the passenger logs for flights from Seattle to Phoenix. After scanning restaurant stalls, I found an airline employee taking a break at a closed Burger King. There wasn't another soul. I stretched out my legs by the dozing gentlemen and filched his blazer slung over the chair beside him.

When we arrived at an unmanned area of the concourse, my father and brother engaged themselves in the most audible and diversionary discussion about some spoiled travel plans. I threw on the blazer furtively slipping behind one of the many unattended counters. All that was missing was an official badge. Fortunately, hacking into one of the computer stations proved unproblematic.

The occasional traveler and the even less visible airport staff paid us little attention as they went about their sleep-deprived business. Already armed with what I believed was James' departure gate, what I needed to do required less than a minute of skullduggery.

There were two flights to Phoenix that James could have taken. As I toggled down the logs, I found a passenger who had purchased a ticket with cash minutes before a flight that left five hours ago. The name listed was _Ralph Palazo_.

A flashback of a stolen ID flared in my mind. _Ralph Palazo,_ one of the victims James and his retinue murdered two days ago under a highway off-ramp. This was no coincidence. The tracker, under the dead man's name, had taken a flight that left from concourse three to Phoenix.

I made eye contact with Carlisle as I stepped out from behind the counter and shed the blazer.

"He went to Phoenix. He used an alias, but I recognized the name. It belonged to one of his previous kills."

Emmett placed a knuckle to his mouth and expelled a breath. _Damn, the bastard's good._ He admitted inwardly.

Carlisle vocalized his made-up mind. "We knew as much. But this will not affect our plans."

We checked in and made it through the metal detectors without incident. While Emmett examined an atlas included among the items in the backpack, Carlisle and I took to our cell phones booking several outbound flights from Phoenix. At the last minute, we would decide where to take Bella.

It took no time at all securing the various arrangements. When no longer occupied, everything halted. As I scanned the space before me, a sense of isolation pervaded the airport and its nearly empty terminals. Standing at the wide grid of windows, pellets of rain plinked against the glass and steel, and I began to outline the past events.

I thought of Bella's home and the dance studio and the tracker's plans for them. By using my name, James expected that we would discover he returned to Seattle. He didn't, however, want us to learn his next destination was Phoenix to those two rooms.

I didn't want to think of the blowback that could result from his change of tactics. That this monster was also a veteran assassin, within my fallow humanity, a real mortal terror grew. So many questions still went unanswered. So many things had went wrong as I marked-off my mistakes. Glaringly near the top, not killing James on the baseball field.

With the first announcement to board finally broadcasted, my body ached from the strain of keeping the anxiety inside me in check. It bit and pawed at me like a living thing.

I speed dialed Alice's number. "We're on our way. Keep her safe for me, Alice." I muttered quickly.

"I will." She promised.

Before either of us could say anything further, I rung off the phone. For two days I was without Bella. I was starved for her. I needed to see her, feel her, see for my own eyes that she was safe. If I spoke to her now, if I heard her voice, I wasn't sure how I would handle myself when again we had to say goodbye. Heartsick but unexplainably headstrong, if I couldn't have all of Bella, I would wait.

Carlisle and Emmett stood on either side of me in a gesture of support as we observed first class passengers and other travelers create a line in front of the flight attendant checking boarding passes. Despite the early hour, the gate now hosted a small but respectable crowd. Though one look out the windows to the mid-sized aircraft, and I knew the cabin wouldn't be half full. Luck favored us again that this flight wasn't cancelled.

In a procession, passengers assembled at the opened double doors of the gate. I allowed my thoughts to discompose to the white noise of voices and visions of those around me. The second announcement came for the remaining travelers. Our party joined the shortening queue with my boarding pass pinched between my fingers.

In a random sequence, I skipped from one mind to another through the concourse.

_Wait…_

There was a glitch, an unaccounted splice in time. It might have been a hallucination, but it pulled my hair trigger alert. From the edge of a maintenance worker's vision, a flag of orange hair waved then disappeared behind a rectangular pillar_._

Reacting on impulse, I went pealing after it. Carlisle and Emmett were at my heels without question. There was no time to think, but as I ran, a name pushed past my lips, "_Victoria_."

I located the maintenance worker first who was just outside the concourse. I then spotted the pillar. Several feet from it was a door with a sign that read, "Authorized Personnel". Victoria's scent led right to it. Venom was pumping through my veins. My fingers were about to close over the metal handle.

A hand, Carlisle's hand preempted me. I whipped my head to glare at him.

"No," he said. "Even if she's on the other side of that door, it doesn't matter. We need to get to Phoenix." Carlisle emphasized each word and let go my arm. I was shocked to the point that my brain couldn't free a response to that.

A mumbled last call of our flight bleated over the terminal's PA system.

"Just Emmett then. He can still catch her!" I urged fanatically. Emmett stepped forward about to take hold of the handle.

"No." Carlisle answered in a still yet incisive tone. My brother and I looked to Carlisle gobsmacked. "We must stick to the plan. There's no time now. Please, trust me."

As we raced back to the gate, Carlisle opened his cell phone and got my sister on the line. "Rose, Victoria was here at the airport, at our gate. I need you to get here _now_." Following an empty pause, Rose replied in an affirmative. He clicked off the call.

Emmett then voiced what we were both stewing about. "Victoria's probably warning James right now that we're on our way!"

"I know, son. But she would have done that before you caught up with her. Then what?" Carlisle said. "I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a trick to set off some alarm, to create a road block, trip us up somehow. Victoria has remained hidden until now. I don't think her appearance was a mistake on her part. We've been fortunate not to have any run-ins with the authorities, but we mustn't press our luck. If we went through that door we would have never made this flight. She doesn't want us in Phoenix. She probably believes we're on our way to kill James. Even if she's on her way to join him, this is the fastest means to get to him _and_ to Bella."

My father reminded us of one of the many reasons why he was the leader of our family. Emmett and I replied with silence, cuing him that we supported his tact. My muscles were jittering from the letdown of inaction while my self-esteem was feeling the bruising from redefining stupidity. Although put out that I fouled up _again_, I couldn't be more grateful for Carlisle's presence.

As we zipped past groupings of travelers at adjacent gates, our quick clip attracted attention. Emmett and Carlisle must have noticed when I did, faces that popped up in our direction. We slowed to an acceptable jog to our gate, which was almost empty.

"Gentlemen, you've cut it close." The youthful flight attendant reprimanded. She examined our boarding passes, tore off and kept the larger half and handed back the stubs.

I walked ahead then turned to Carlisle, "I'm sorry." Emmett contributed a contrite expression to my apology. Carlisle squeezed my arm and placed his other hand that held his bag to Emmett's back. Together we walked through the gate.

At the end of the corrugated tunnel another flight attendant greeted us and examined our ticket stubs.

"Row eighteen E, F, and G is on your right." The flight attendant grinned brightly when we went by. I had my fill of airports today.

"You have enjoyable flight, now. We should be in Phoenix in no time."

No time was precisely what I had.


	12. Chapter 23: The Letter

23. The Letter

We were the last passengers to board the plane, but many of our fellow travelers were still stowing away carry-on luggage, attending to antsy children, and turning off cell phones. After a minute, there was a general settling down for the flight ahead. Two attendants, one was the young woman who met us at the gate, swooped down the aisle closing overhead bins. They reminded people to fasten their seatbelts despite the lit up signs that seemed to pulse at the rev of the plane's turbines. The young woman returned to the front of the cabin to confab briefly with the gentleman who examined our boarding stubs. He then unhooked the wall mounted phone. It crackled on.

"A very good morning ladies and gentlemen and welcome to American Airlines flight 978 with non-stop service to Phoenix." With caffeine inflected enthusiasm, he looped the cord around his free hand. "My name is Bruce, and I will be part of the crew for your flight today."

Then his hand rotated loose from the cord and turned out with a flourish. "May I please draw your attention to our gorgeous flight attendants for our pre-departure safety demonstration." Pivoting on the balls of his feet, Bruce went on indicating the plane's safety features and the location of emergency exits.

In the midst of his spiel, I was afflicted with a sudden apnea. I stopped breathing, moving, thinking and concentrated beyond the metal skin of the plane. A premonition scraped up my spine. I didn't see or hear her, but I was positive Victoria was still at the airport.

"What is it?" Carlisle whispered.

"Nothing." I said. There was no point sharing this with him. Nevertheless, I spanned the quadrant for any sonic blip that might network me into Victoria's thoughts. My telepathic dragnet netted nothing.

In the immediate background, people were laughing in response to Bruce's comedy routine. "If you're traveling with a child or someone who acts like one, please secure your oxygen mask first." The two flight attendants at the front and at the center of the cabin were simulating placing oxygen masks to their faces.

"Once your mask is secured," Bruce continued, "You may then attend to others who may need assistance. If you're traveling with more than one child, help the one with the most potential then go down the line." There was more laughter.

"Mommy?" across the aisle a boy turned to his mother at the flight attendant's remark.

She placed a hand to his mop of curls. "Don't worry baby, if anything happens I'm going to go by birth order." And kissed the top of his head.

He shared a giggle with his younger brother, "_Bird odor_." His mother shushed him.

I dropped my forehead to my hands faking a headache as I resumed my mental search for Victoria. I might as well have been looking for a needle in fields of haystacks. Yet, I just knew she was somewhere close.

Bruce was concluding his shtick. "For those of you who plan on catching some zzz, we will be administrating a sleep aid in the form of our in-flight movie, _A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_. But before we make our way through our own star system, please be sure to turn off all cell phones, laptops, and any other electronic devices. With the exception of cell phones, once we're airborne, we will alert you when the ban to operate your other electronics has been lifted. Thank you and have an enjoyable flight." A reception of applause and a short whistle followed.

I stared at the digital display of my mobile, contemplating giving Alice a head's up on Victoria's latest appearance. Another phone call would only cause Bella more distress. Reluctantly, I copied my father and brother and shut off my phone.

Before long, we pushed off from the gate. Bruce had the phone in his hand again. "We will now dim the lights in order to enhance the attractiveness of our crew." When the plane began to taxi along the tarmac the cabin lights powered off and the PA system scratched on briefly. It was the captain this time.

"Flight attendants please prepare for take-off."

My father turned his head to me. Over his shoulder, Emmett lifted his vision from the oval window that belonged to our row and included his gaze with Carlisle's. "This will soon be over." Carlisle words of comfort had an opposite effect. My only chance to get intelligence on the tracker's next move was somewhere in that airport we were leaving behind.

The plane shuddered as its wheels increased their speed. When the back tires left the runway, my insides rose up ahead of the plane's climb into the sky. It always reminded me of the aerial feeling of running, but this time I thought of Bella's last kiss.

After a certain elevation was gained and the pitch of ascension leveled, the seatbelt sign dinged off. There was a hiss and two beats of feedback as the PA system snapped on again. A voice that belonged on the radio buzzed through the cabin.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen. This is Captain Michaels speaking. We've departed what looked like another fine day in the Emerald City —" The pilot's voice became swamped amidst the voices and thoughts of the other passengers. Only the familiar minds of my father and brother were isolated from the rest. Conscious of my audio fix, they kept their thoughts positive.

Past Carlisle and Emmett, I stared into the stale predawn light counting down the seconds. We were on a head-on collision with the waking sun. Short of four hours, this leg of what turned out to be a hapless boondoggle, would be over. There would be more airports, more planes, but I would be with Bella. The prospect of being alone together cooped up cozily in a hotel room left me keening for time to hurry.

One hour and forty-seven minutes into the flight, we entered Nevada's airspace. One of a dozen post-landing scenes I had imagined the last hour and forty-seven minutes replayed in my mind. This one was of me shooting out from the gate and immediately finding Bella as she searched the faces of disembarking passengers for mine.

She would know I was there before she saw me. Then finally our sightlines would connect and seam together. She'd start towards me, but I'd have her in my arms before she could take a step. I'd then wrap her into my kiss, my hands raveling in her hair. Eyes and fingers and lips would explore her face. That beautiful darling face, I missed so much. I would inhale her until every atom that made up my body sang with her scent.

And because I wouldn't let her go, Bella would just have to put up with me carrying her to the gate of our connecting flight that would deliver us out of the country and the threat that still remained.

In spite of that threat, my thoughts easily came away with her as I marked the time. I drew Bella's t-shirt from my breast pocket onto my lap. It was soft and pliable from many washings. I smoothed a hand over it and felt a rut in the cotton material.

Looking down, I discovered a hole the size of an eraser tip and smiled. This was one of Bella's sleeping t-shirts. I imagined that was what she was doing or should be doing right about now. I held it to my nose. It smelled of laundry detergent, but Bella's floral fragrance was there. I breathed in slowly, deeply. Her scent wreathed around me in a caress.

"Auckland." My brother agreed.

He awakened me from my daydream. Swallowing the venom that collected in my mouth, I murmured, "Yes… good… right..."

Emmett was hashing the next set of plans with Carlisle.

"Like we said, it's going to be tight, but we should be able make the connection to Miami." Carlisle spoke to both of us now that I rejoined the conversation.

Two flight attendants were pushing a beverage cart up the aisle. There were no soda cans or foil wrappers to retrieve from our row. Earlier, when the obligatory refreshments were served, my brother and I pretended to be asleep while Carlisle politely declined the offered snacks.

It had been two days since they last fed and more than five days for me. We had gone weeks without feeding before under Carlisle's mentorship. He was insistent that our family conditioned ourselves by stretching out the times between meals. It was like we had been training for this all along.

But my father was a sensible man. Once we secured Bella, he thought it wise to slot in a hunt before we left the continent. Not that he feared one of us might be tempted. He wanted us fortified when the time came to kill James. There was a question when that would be.

When he verbalized his plan, I had already agreed; though, I resisted the idea of leaving Bella's side even for an instant. Following our arrival in Miami, there were two hours until our flight to New Zealand. We would take turns guarding her as each of us partook of the everglade wildlife. Then there was the task of obtaining Bella's passport. These were the only points that could be finalized. We spent the remainder of our flight reviewing the various scenarios that were dependent on Alice's next projections.

For now a scheme was rough sketched. It called for Alice and Jasper to stake out the perimeter of Bella's home and the dance studio in a chance of picking up James' trail. If Bella's mother arrived in Phoenix, they would hand-off security detail to Rosalie. Esme was to stay with Charlie in Forks. As soon as Alice gave the go-ahead to proceed, Carlisle and Emmett would return to include themselves in the hunt for James. It was all set. Everything seemed to be in place. Now if only this plane would land.

An eternity elapsed inside of two hours when the PA system switched on. The captain updated that we were sixty miles from the airport and would be touching down ten minutes ahead of schedule.

I tensed in anxiousness when the tires hit the runway. Emmett had pulled down the shutter slat of our window as the Arizona sun paraded its strength through the other portholes of the cabin. At the sound of the seatbelt sign belling off, Carlisle had his medical bag in hand while Emmett grabbed the shoulder straps of the backpack. We powered on our phones.

Their faces angled to mine when I looked up from my mobile's digital display. There were three missed calls from Alice. She had attempted to contact each of us while we were in the air. The general anxiety I was feeling localized into a pit in my stomach.

While people were gathering their belongings, Bruce and another flight attendant were seeing to the door that linked to the gate. They had only slid it open by a section when Bruce did a double-take as Carlisle, Emmett and I shimmied through the column of space in an illusionary blur.

"Damn it!" Emmett tried to place a call to Alice. "No answer."

When we emerged from the gate, I didn't spot Bella as I had earlier envisioned it. There was no Bella, no Alice or Jasper. They were nowhere to be found. Emmett was calling Alice again. Then as I moved around the rows of chairs, I smacked right into Bella's scent. Proof that she was here. My heart clutched.

"Alice." Carlisle called out as she sprinted toward us. The black case that was cross-strapped to her flapped against her hip.

She was alone. When we closed the gap, she took hold of my forearms. "Bella, she's gone! Missing!" Alice cried. I watched the scenes in her mind as she narrated them. She was leading us away in the direction of a small food court and could have been speaking in an alien language.

I jerked ahead of her. "What are you saying?"

"She was with us. I swear to you she was right here." A vision of Bella sitting by the metal detectors popped into Alice's thoughts.

When she halted in front of a ladies' restroom, through her recollections, I watched Alice skidding into Jasper at what appeared to be this very spot.

"Jasper took Bella to get something to eat. On the way she stopped in here for a minute. I'm sorry Edward, I should have never let her go anywhere without me." In a torrent Alice enumerated what happened next. We remained mute as we followed her to the other side of the terminal.

"I saw that something was wrong. Jasper had checked the restroom when I met up with him. We tracked Bella through a back exit and towards that bank of elevators." Alice pointed in their direction. "We found her trail at level one and out the exit. That's where it ends. We feared that she might have been taken. But there's no evidence of it. Jasper did detect James' scent. It wasn't recent. He said it was at least a day old." Panic and nausea squirmed in my belly and rose to my throat.

Minutes before our plane landed, Bella had vanished. Their fevered search through the airport's terminals played out in Alice's head. "We've combed this place top to bottom, three times, and nothing. She's not here."

Trying to get the story straight, Carlisle asked, "Where's Jasper?"

"He went to get the car."

We broke free of the pedestrian flow and raced towards the exit vivisecting pass the luggage carousels and constellations of people with no care for what the humans observing us were thinking.

My father questioned me as we ran. "Is it possible Bella ran away, left on her own?"

Still parsing out Alice's mental and verbal account, I didn't reply. Emmett answered him, "It's possible."

"But she left her clothes, all her things behind. Jasper has her duffle bag. I went through it. There wasn't anything that could explain this." Alice blinked owlishly.

Desperate for more answers, I searched my sister's mind. Her thoughts were a conniption of fright and guilt that doubled my own.

We gusted through the automatic doors. _She was gone._ Bella's trail went cold just outside the exit. Her scent inexplicably terminated at the curb.

"This is not supposed to happen." Alice's entire being vibrated with confusion at a memory. It was ensnarled within a knot of recent images. Then in a flash of recall, I saw a mirrored room streaked with blood.

"Tell me!" I took my sister by the shoulders shaking her. "Damn it, tell me what you saw."

"What's going on!?" Emmett snarled hauling me off from her.

Alice sputtered, "This morning there was another vision. James… Bella..."

Her face voided. Then after a slow count of three, she pulled an envelope from her black case. When she spoke again it was mystified whisper.

"She gave this to me to give to her mother_._" Alice removed the letter from the envelope and placed it in my hand before I could grab it.

Edward,

I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very sorry.

Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you from me. Alice especially, please.

And please, please don't come after him. That's what he wants. I think. I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.

I love you. Forgive me.

Bella

"James has her mother… Bella went to him…" The words wouldn't come out of me because I didn't believe them. Then against the screen of her mind, with high definition

exactness, Alice's vision transplanted into my mind — James celebrating over Bella's broken blood-soaked body.

My legs were kicked out from under me, and I keeled to my knees. A howl reverberated from parallax viewpoints between Carlisle, Alice, and Emmett. It came from me. Someone, I did not know who, was at my side scaffolding my frame.

I missed what my father yelled out to me.

When Emmett spoke, I only saw his mouth move, "Alice, what's happening?"

Just then a car swerved to a stop milli-inches from the curb. A figure materialized. I didn't realize it was Jasper until he was facing Alice as she froze in concentration.

"Fifty-eighth Street and Cactus." Alice recited awakening from her trance.

Recognizing the address, Jasper blurted, "The dance studio?"

"Yes, yes… The tracker's there. I can see Bella hasn't arrived yet. It's not too late..."

Carlisle's Mercedes was already parked in front of the Audi Jasper must have hot-wired. Alice winged my left side. It was Carlisle who was knelt beside me holding my right arm. I stood up.

Emmett went with Jasper in the Mercedes after I insisted on driving the Audi with Carlisle and Alice riding with me. It became clear the two vehicles were a tactical precaution. With the Arizona sun limiting our movement on foot, Jasper anticipated that we might have to split up.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. I'm sorry…" my brother lamented as we pulled out of the airport.

"Just get me to her, please Jasper." When he heard my plea, the Mercedes hurtled ahead with me keeping on his tail.

Slewing through lanes of traffic, we were speeding at a reckless velocity to Scottsdale. Mercifully, Jasper had obtained directions to Bella's home while configuring their relocation to a nearby hotel. Fifty-eighth Street and Cactus would be close. My brother was a skilled driver, but we couldn't travel fast enough. I wanted to take the lead from him. There was no telling how far a head start Bella had gotten.

Carlisle conjured a baseball cap and leather gloves and passed them over my shoulder. I dressed quickly. He and Alice were already similarly outfitted.

Our cavalcade burned through the parched landscape past reefs of dried chaparral. Scottsdale, with its crops of low-lined buildings and serried homes was in our sights not a quarter-hour from when we left the airport. It was approaching high sun. Cacti and sagebrushes in the distance were etched black against a stark sky.

"No, no, no!" Alice bawled hysterically. Nearly missing the hairpin turn as we broke sharply onto Cactus, the Audi rocked in its shocks. "He has her!"

It was a scream. A bone splintering scream. Then glass shattering and another shriek of pain, and I was inverted inside-out.

"Bella!"

Savagery overrode my conscious will. "Take the wheel!" I shouted then hurled myself out from the thrown-open driver's side door. In a ballistic rage, I targeted the tracker's voice.

"Would you rather have Edward try to find me?" James was speaking in that deceptively flat tone. Yet, it did not cover his banking bloodlust.

"No!" I heard Bella's voice fracture. "No, Edward, don't —"

I chased after her desperate call. The ground held no traction as it slipped beneath my feet.

In the following sickening silence, a monster readied his kill.


	13. Chapter 24: The Demon

24. The Demon

Bella's heart slammed against her ribcage. It was the only thing slashing through my awareness, her frantic heartbeat. It pinpointed me to the backdoor, and gaining it, I wrenched it from its hinges.

There bestride Bella's fallen form crouched the tracker. "Oh no, Bella, no!"

A snarl exploded from my throat as I cannoned into James. We twisted into the air like wild projectiles. His fingers scratched at my collar, but my hands were already ringed around his neck. Crashing into the opening of the adjoining room the fulcrum of my rage surged through my hands. And in a fugue, I cracked the column of vertebrae and smashed the back of his skull through the floor.

A block of light glutted the front entrance as Emmett and Jasper stampeded toward us landing blows on the tracker. James should have been dead. Yet, he dug in with demonic resistance. Despite his fatal injuries, he thrashed spastically, offensively, until the line of his vision found Bella, a viper still seeking out his prey.

Pulling myself away from the dog pile, Jasper pinned him down. But before Emmett severed his head from his torso, James' eyes leeched black with unquenched thirst hooked into mine to deliver his last dying checkmate. _Down low… you're too slow…_

Carnage compressed the air. In the foreground was Bella's serrated breathing. In the next nanosecond, I skidded to her side. The floor was slick with blood beneath my knees. There was her blood, so much of it, and her thickening scent and her brutalized body.

Afraid to touch her, Bella laid unconscious within an area sown with slivered mirrors. "Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please. Bella, please!" I groveled as if she could simply decide to open her eyes.

"Carlisle!" I begged for my father to do something just as he and Alice appeared. He knelt down near Bella. His fingers felt around her head. Blood gouted in rivulets from a wound that began an inch above her hairline and slit back towards her crown. Alice paced away from the trauma watching anxiously.

"Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!" I wept, doubling over. This was my doing, and the devastation that I didn't stop it and was helpless to fix it was bottomless.

My brothers hearing my despair were about to charge forward but stopped themselves. From the opening, they goggled at the visual and olfactory assault of Bella's spilt blood, which now began to humidify the room.

Knowing that they could offer no aid, they retreated from the spectacle with the tracker's headless corpse between them. They would perform what they could do and that was to dispose of James.

Carlisle continued assessing the damage to Bella's head. When he touched the gash, she shrieked in pain.

"Bella!" I placed my gloved hand to her forehead tacky with the coagulating syrup.

"She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep," Carlisle reassured maintaining professional control. "Watch out for her leg, it's broken."

A pent-up roar ejected from every corridor within my chest. I wanted James' head stuck back into place only for _me_ to decapitate him.

Carlisle's fingers pressed down along Bella's flank. Her shirt was blotched and stippled in shades of red violence. "Some ribs, too, I think." _She's beaten up quite badly, but it's not fatal. _He consoled inwardly.

"Edward." When Bella spoke my heart leapt.

I hovered over her face. "Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you."

"Edward," she said my name once more. It was the most wonderful beautiful sound. Although uncertain it was okay, Alice tiptoed beside me.

"Yes, I'm here."

Bella let out a staggered moan, "It hurts."

"I know, Bella, I know." I looked to Carlisle. "Can't you do anything?"

His hand reached up to my sister. "My bag, please… Hold your breath, Alice, it will help."

"Alice?" Bella mumbled.

"She's here, she knew where to find you."

Alice came around to kneel beside Carlisle as he extracted vials of morphine and a syringe from his bag.

"My hand hurts," Bella sobbed.

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."

Just when we believed the emergency stabilized, Bella's voice tore out in terror, in agony. "My hand is burning!" Her eyes flickered open then stretched wide in pain. One hand grasped the other.

My hands took hold of hers. "Bella?"

"The fire! Someone stop the fire!" She screamed again arching her back.

I examined her hands and just above her right wrist, beads of blood formed a broken half moon at the edge of her hand.

"Carlisle! Her hand!"

At Bella's seizured screams, my father and sister had backed off from attending to her head wound.

"He bit her." Carlisle stared at her hand aghast. Open desolation seized me.

My eyes petitioned Carlisle for help, but this fell beyond his centuries of knowledge and experience. I could only see unformed ideas funnel in Carlisle's thoughts.

I sucked in my breath as my worst nightmare became a perverse reality.

_Oh, Bella… Bella…_ _Bella…_ Alice elegized silently.

Then she urged, "Edward, you have to do it." Running her hands over Bella's eyes, they became sleek with tears.

_Edward!_ Alice shouted in her head. An image brighter than any desert sun seared through my vision. Towering with preternatural power, Bella's bloodstained eyes glowed vibrant as the skin of a ripe apple. She was frightening as she was stunning. But inside those eyes stretched a borderless sadness. I watched as her pale hands folded over a heart that no longer beat.

"No!" I snarled in anguish.

"Alice," Bella whimpered. Her lips went white.

My father then spoke. "There may be a chance."

"What?" I said pleadingly.

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean." Blood continued to cowl from Bella's scalp. With Alice's assistance, Carlisle resumed stitching up the cut.

"Will that work?" Alice questioned in a voice stricken with doubt.

"I don't know," Carlisle muttered. "But we have to hurry."

"Carlisle, I…" my breath came short as I realized my tongue, throat, and lungs were on fire. "I don't know if I can do that." Since the meadow, there was an explicitly drawn out line that I vowed never to cross.

"It's your decision, Edward, either way. I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her hand." Carlisle held me in his gaze. From his mind's eye, I could see conflicting impulses hammer on my face.

Bella's foot kicked out making her features twist in torment. Carlisle and Alice stopped their ministrations to see her eyes roll into their sockets. It was eviscerating.

"Edward!" Bella squealed. Her eyes flared open holding on to me then her blood and sweat-sodden head lolled lifelessly to the side in Alice's hands.

Over his resumed suturing, Carlisle caught sight of Bella's bent leg. "Alice, get something to brace her leg!" he directed triaging her injuries. "Edward, you must do it now, or it will be too late."

The onset of shock had Bella convulsing. It took Alice two tries to secure her leg, but as Bella approached the throes of transformation, her frame would soon freeze as venom webbed out from the bite site.

Bands of pain radiated from her body pushing through and past me, past the walls of the dance studio, past the limits of this barren city. I swiftly removed my gloves covered in Bella's blood — dear God, her blood, that was my need and my nemesis, my all inhabiting obsession — the one thing I could not have. The one thing I lusted after most.

Still leashed to Bella's eyes, everything grated to a halt as trepidation incinerated into ash between us. I took her hand into my hands, clamping them into place. Then my lips closed over her swollen and ruptured skin.

Her body revolted against my domination. She screeched. Carlisle braced her head while Alice hummed soothingly, "It's okay, Bella. It's okay."

The first mouthfuls of venom was a shock of ice water. It was bitter and vile as it held the musk of the tracker.

Immediately after, white, blue, green, and red lights banged before my field of vision as the sweetest most divine elixir scalded down my throat. I never tasted, imagined, or dreamed anything like it. But unlike only _breathing_ her blood, tasting it, drinking it, lighted a diverse more devastating conflagration inside me, for this time there was no pain. There was no pain to equalize my thirst. There was no pain to shelter my sanity.

In a fireball of jubilation, my monster demolished its cage.

"Edward," Bella whispered like an expiring flame, but every tangible and intangible thing save for her blood foamed into indistinction.

Pleasure split through my flesh like wings. And I lifted off as the liquid heat spread under my skin and entered my bones. My spheres of consciousness bowed down to a new delirium. I was a creature wholly possessed. I could not, would not stop. In a pair of heartbeats, I had mutated from protector to predator.

_Drain her._ My monster commanded.

My mouth obeyed eagerly. It was unmovable. The suction became deeper. Something medicinal intermingled with the sweet hot nectar. It didn't make it any less enthralling.

Blood drunk, yet my thirst demanded more, all of it. _Finish her!_

Alice bent forward to Bella's ear to what sounded like. "He's right here, Bella." _But I wasn't here._ I was freefalling in fragments out into space. There were only chards of me floating above and around Bella now.

My thirst was sucking me into an event horizon and beyond that, darkness. There was just one long pull of her blood from completely losing myself. I stared into the face of my monster set to submit — only to suddenly confront James' eyes that were burning black coals now transformed vermillion.

_I was James. I was my monster._ Then all became nothing before my eyes.

"Stay, Edward, stay with me…" It was spoken softly as a prayer.

_Stay with me…_ It wasn't Bella that repeated her words in my head and in my heart but my own voice.

_Stay with me…_ And I could feel the broken wreckage of myself ever slowly come together, synthesizing into a higher molecular reordering.

I didn't want it like this, not like this. Never like this.

_Stay with me… _That was it. What I desired most. _Bella stay with me_.

As strength flowed and gathered within me, I stiffened my spine. And with one tremendous force of will, my lips broke its seal over Bella's hand. Stunningly, instead of the desire to kill, another suite of instincts combated my thirst to protect Bella's life force.

_Stay with me…_ "I will."

The room reappeared as I was pulled back into my skin with Carlisle and Alice and my Bella before me. I caught myself from collapsing.

In a soul defining moment, I had done it. I drank of her blood, and I chose the man I wanted to be.

Bella exhaled in exhaustion.

Carlisle was finishing bandaging her head and began wrapping Bella's torso. He glanced up. "Is it all out?"

"Her blood tastes clean," I confirmed, holding her hand. All traces of venom were siphoned from the wound. "I can taste the morphine."

My father nodded to me and smiled proudly. Tributes for me and Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and for Bella bannered through his mind.

"Bella?" He dropped his head to her.

"Mmmmm?"

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," she breathed. "Thank you, Edward."

My other hand stroked the face of my beloved spent with extreme fatigue. "I love you."

"I know," she said with a weak sigh. My lips melted into a smile. A depleted yet grateful laugh left them.

Carlisle wanted to further bind her leg, but he and Alice had expended the supply of dressing. I tugged Bella's t-shirt from my pocket and passed it to Alice.

"Bella?" Carlisle continued. She responded in a pout of concentration. "Where's your mother?"

"In Florida," she strained. "He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos." Consciousness was losing its foothold.

"Alice." Bella's weighted eyelids struggled to rise against the effects of the morphine. "Alice, the video — he knew you, Alice, he knew where you came from."

Carlisle and I turned to my sister creating a triad of baffled expressions.

Bella, even more groggy, added, "I smell gasoline."

My brothers had dismembered the tracker and prepared his pyre. In order to eliminate all evidence, the dance studio would burn as well.

Carlisle mounted to his feet. "It's time to move her."

"No, I want to sleep," Bella slurred in protest.

"You can sleep, sweetheart, I'll carry you," And I lifted her up into my arms to form a cold cocoon.

Mindful of her leg that Alice had braced with torn out floor planks, it was mainly held together with strips of Bella's t-shirt tied in a neat row of bows. Alice fitted a baseball cap back on my head. She touched the bill of her own in commendation before holding open the mangled backdoor.

The blood smeared on Bella's face, painted on her arms and hands, and caked in her tangled locks began to dry.

"Sleep now Bella," I encouraged and pressed a kiss into her hair.


	14. Chapter 25: An Impasse

25. An Impasse

I captured Bella's bandaged hand before it had the chance to strip the oxygen tube taped under her nose. "No, you don't." I warned and replaced her hand back onto its pillow near her hip. Bella's breath stretched out in a moan. At once I had an ear to her lips in time to hear my name feather against my cheek.

"Edward?" Bella's sealed eyelids squeezed then fluttered open. Feeling all of my one hundred years, I had to stem the gulf of relief crashing through me that she awoken at last.

Her head fell to the side where now, face to face, I greeted her with a smile. Propping my chin at the edge of her pillow, I watched her pupils dial in and out as they adjusted to the fluorescents above her bed.

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry!" Bella broke out. _She_ was in the hospital, and she was apologizing to _me_.

"Shhhh," I hushed. "Everything's all right now."

"What happened?" The gravelly texture in her voice was one of the effects from being out cold in an induced coma for three days. Her long unconsciousness expedited the healing process. As her leg, head, and chest were furled in dressing, Bella had a great amount of recovering to do.

When it came to her hand, the emergency staff treated the bite site as a harmless flesh wound. Little did they know that the "minor scrape" was the most mortal injury. In between the nurses, doctors and various attendants that would rotate in and out of Bella's room, I'd lay my head on her chest. I wanted to confirm the beeps and clicks sounding from the monitors were telling truth, _she was alive_.

"I was almost too late. I could have been too late," I admitted.

"I was so stupid, Edward. I thought he had my mom."

If anyone should own stupidity, it was me. If not for Alice's clairvoyance — I didn't want to imagine the outcome. As for my own vision, during this entire crisis, I had been blinded by fear and desperation. I couldn't see the step ahead of me much less anticipate the enemy's overall strategy.

James' masterstroke was simply to wait for my mistakes to catch up with me. Even with the aid and resources of my family, the collaborative effort still failed to cover all the contingencies. "He tricked us all."

Bella squinted her way through the mental congestion that comes from protracted sleep, "I need to call Charlie and my mom."

"Alice called them. Renée is here — well, here in the hospital. She's getting something to eat right now."

"She's here?" Bella attempted to sit up. Her eyes pinched closed in obvious discomfort. With delicate handling, I pressed her shoulders back onto the pillows.

"She'll be back soon," I assured her and followed with, "And you need to stay still."

"But what did you tell her?" Bella lifted her head in direct disregard to my previous orders. "Why did you tell her I'm here?"

"You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window." This was the cover story told to the hospital staff, Renée, and Charlie. "You have to admit, it could happen."

A resulting sigh caused another wave of aches. Her eyes traveled down to her chest then to the bulge of her cast hidden under blankets.

"How bad am I?"

Plaster went from her thigh to her ankle. There were bandages on her head and woven around her torso like a medieval undergarment. Her arms mottled with purple and black blooms and scored with cuts of various lengths were tied up with tubes and wires.

"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it — it made you smell all wrong for a while."

"That must have been a nice change for you."

I took a slow deep breath. Bella's scent purled over and around me like a following sea. "No, I like how _you_ smell."

She looked at me questioningly, "How did you do it?"

I slipped my fingers under her abused hand careful of the wrapping and wirework. "I'm not sure."

"It was impossible… to stop," I was speaking to her hand when the memory of blood spilling into my throat excited venom to rise in my mouth.

"Impossible. But I did." My lips bent into a smile when I concluded, "I _must_ love you."

She had a grin on her face. "Don't I taste as good as I smell?"

"Even better — better than I'd imagined." My throat began to ache.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. Bella was doing it again, blame shifting.

My vision glommed onto the ceiling. "Of all the things to apologize for."

"What _should_ I apologize for?"

"For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever."

"I'm sorry," she repeated. Bella's voice carried such remorse that now my chest hurt.

"I know why you did it." I said not fully understanding her choice to face James alone. "It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me."

"You wouldn't have let me go."

"No." My tone hardened. "I wouldn't."

She winced. Her good hand clasped the bedrail.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

Instead of answering me she asked another question. The subject changing didn't downgrade my concern. "What happened to James?"

I decided to answer her, but in the next minute I was going to get the nurse to make sure Bella rested.

"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him." There was nothing left for it, but if I were to do it again, I would have finished him myself.

Bella's features were working to recall something. "I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

"They had to leave the room… there was a lot of blood."

"But you stayed."

"Yes, I stayed."

"And Alice, and Carlisle…,"

"They love you, too, you know." I smiled.

"Did Alice see the tape?"

"Yes." A spasm of rage iced my face. It was Jasper who had recovered the camcorder that against odds survived my assault on the tracker. We had all viewed that tape. If there was a redeemable outcome to this near catastrophe, it was learning the mystery of Alice's conversion.

Bella continued, "She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember."

James had recognized Alice on the baseball field. Though, he first discovered what would have been the jewel of his conquests, more than half a century ago. Alice was human then and even more alluring to him than Bella.

But before he could claim his victim, another immortal he referred to as the "old one" rescued Alice from an asylum. He transformed her just in time. The tracker, in revenge, executed Alice's preserver and left her to fend the world of the undead alone.

"I know. She understands now," Remembering how the tracker justified sacrificing Bella in trade for losing Alice. I watched the video in horror at Bella's fatalistic valor to save her mother and the gratitude expressed when she realized that Renée wasn't James' captive, wasn't in danger after all but safe in Florida.

James had used one of Bella's childhood home videos to convince her that Renée had been taken. Bile curdled in my stomach when the tracker revealed he was taping his intended crime scene as a letter to me. "_I would just like to rub it in, just a little bit_," he taunted.

Bella's other hand, one of the few parts of her body that wasn't swaddled in bandages rose to touch me. An IV line impeded her movement.

"Ugh," She groaned. Her immediate suffering wiped the stored images from that dastardly tape.

I didn't panic, but my finger hovered over the button to alert the nurse. "What is it?"

She flinched away from the IV line inserted in her hand and looked up at the ceiling. "Needles," she whinnied.

"Afraid of a needle," I shook my head when her gaze landed on me, "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An _IV_, on the other hand…"

Her eyes found the ceiling tiles again but in annoyance rather than in pain. "Why are _you_ here?"

_Oh… _It didn't take a second to gather what she said, and that old ping of melancholy skittered though my chest.

Truth was I had no right to be here. If she was choosing well, finally choosing well, it was the best thing for her. I answered her with a spineless, "Do you want me to leave?"

Alarm heated her face. "No!" she exclaimed. "No, I meant, why does my mother think you're here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back."

"Oh!" I said blending my reaction of relief and self-recrimination into something that was unreadable. "I came to Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to Forks." My pitch was inflected with the same conviction when I presented this tale to Bella's mother three days ago. "You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice — of course I was here with parental supervision," I included chastely, "but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and… Well, you know the rest. You don't need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points."

Bella sucked on her lower lip thinking over my alibi. "There are a few flaws with that story. Like no broken windows."

"Not really." I said, "Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. It's all been taken care of very convincingly — you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to worry about." This was a promise I hoped I could keep. "Your only job now is to heal." With the back of my hand I caressed her face. Her heart monitor beeped and whizzed like a classic videogame.

She turned away from the equipment. "That's going to be embarrassing."

Laughing, I studied the re-stabilizing pattern on the screen when I arrived at a thought. "Hmm, I wonder…"

I slowly moved in on her. The light and sound show was reaching a climax right before my lips met hers.

Then dead silence.

The beeping and electronic display completely shut down. I sprung up with a start only relaxing when the machines rebooted and the bleeping resumed.

"It seems that I'm going to have to be even more careful with you than usual."

With a saucy glint in her eyes Bella scolded, "I was not finished kissing you." With no consideration to being hamstrung in a state of semi-traction she said, "Don't make me come over there."

I felt it my duty to obey her wishes and leaned into her. When my smile relented to her lips, the lights, beeps, and clicks went berserk. Bella's unbandage hand grabbed the buttons of my shirt in twist. I was expecting a siege. Instead she kissed me with such tenderness that I would have promised her anything, given her everything.

My smile reappeared right in the middle of our kiss when I overheard Bella's mother. Renée was recreating the hospital scene from any TV melodrama that had a hospital scene. "I think I hear your mother."

"Don't leave me," she pleaded. With one hand still clawed to my shirt, her gauzy hand pawed my forearm.

_Oh, Bella._ "I won't." Then I said with a grin, "I'll take a nap."

After three days, I wouldn't be surprised to see indentations on the seat when I hopped out of my chair. I next back-glided onto the peacock colored recliner at the foot of Bella's bed without making the faux leather upholstery squeak. I pushed it all the way back and lowered my eyelids.

"Don't forget to breathe," she teased. At her direction, I manipulated my lungs to respire at believable intervals.

As Renée approached the room, her voice became more audible and more distressed as she spoke to one of the nurses. She poked her head through the door before stepping inside.

"Mom!" Bella's voice was no more than a rasp that her mother didn't hear her at first nor did she see that Bella was awake.

Renée's first glance was to me on the recliner. "He never leaves, does he?" she remarked to herself.

Bella spoke up. "Mom, I'm so glad to see you!" Love and concern filled her greeting.

Renée was quickly at Bella's side. With my eyelids a quarter open, I saw her stoop low to carefully hug her daughter. Renée's voice was shaky with tears. "Bella, I was so upset!"

In a role reversal, Bella soothed her with maternal affection, "I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay."

"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open." Renée scooched herself onto Bella's bed.

"How long have they been closed?"

"It's Friday, hon, you've been out for a while."

Stunned, Bella echoed, "Friday?"

"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey — you've got a lot of injuries."

"I know." Bella mumbled. No one knew that better than she did.

"You're lucky Dr. Cullen was there. He's such a nice man… very young, though. And he looks more like a model than a doctor…"

"You met Carlisle?"

"And Edward's sister Alice. She's a lovely girl."

Bella second her mother's opinion, "She is."

Renée glimpsed my sleeping form over her shoulder. "You didn't tell me you had such good friends in Forks."

Bella winced and grunted.

"What hurts?"

My eyes popped open and connected with Bella's just as her mother turned to her.

"It's fine," Bella was speaking to the both of us. _It wasn't convincing._ "I just have to remember not to move."

Bella then segued into one of her mother's favorite topics. "Where's Phil?"

Renée took the bait. "Florida — oh, Bella! You'll never guess! Just when we were about to leave, the best news!"

"Phil got signed."

"Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?"

"That's great, Mom."

Renée kept on that tangent. "And you'll like Jacksonville so much," she was speaking excitedly but there was nothing for me to like about what she was about to share. "I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really isn't _that_ bad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and it's just few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bedroom — "

"Wait, Mom!" Bella interrupted before Renée continued. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to Florida. I live in Forks."

Giggling her mother went on, "But you don't have to anymore, silly." There was new life in her voice as she revealed her plans. "Phil will be able to be around so much more… we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him."

"Mom." Bella spoke with more authority. "I _want_ to live in Forks. I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriends" — I perceived first Renée's then Bella's eyes on me.

Before it went completely off course, Bella redirected her point, "and Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook _at all_."

"You want to stay in Forks?" Renée's tone lowered in suspicion as she glanced back at the recliner again. Internally she didn't make any judgments about me, not yet. A heart-to-heart with her daughter was required first.

What was fascinating about Renée was that her thoughts, unlike Bella's and Charlie's, were far from hidden. They were straightforward and rarely unarticulated. There was no need to read her mind. "Why?" she said.

"I told you — school, Charlie — ouch!" Bella attempted to shrug her shoulders, which clearly hurt her to do so. Renée's hands hovered over Bella to see if she could make it better. But deciding she didn't want to make it any worse, she ended up with a hand to Bella's forehead.

"Bella, honey, you hate Forks."

"It's not so bad."

Renée returned her gaze to me then back to Bella. "Is it this boy?" dropping her volume by a few decibels.

Seconds ticked on as Bella decided what to tell her mother. "He's part of it," she eventually confessed. "So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?"

"Yes." With a sudden dissecting stare to me she addressed her daughter. "And I want to talk to you about that."

"About what?" Bella made an attempt to sound guiltless only it just verified she was up to no good.

Then as if seeking a private word with her, Renée whispered. "I think that boy is love with you." Within seconds of meeting me, Bella's mother knew.

And perhaps it was futile to debate the obvious. Without pause Bella agreed. "I think so, too."

"And how do you feel about him?" The probing spike in Renée's inquiry fired my own curiosity.

Bella exhaled, a little more aware of her compromised ribcage before she finessed out a response. "I'm pretty crazy about him."

_Crazy_. Yup, that about summed up this whole certifiably insane state of affairs.

"Well, he seems very nice, and my goodness, he's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young, Bella…" My uninterrupted bedside presence worried Renée. She didn't want Bella becoming too serious too soon. She didn't want her daughter to make her mistakes.

Bella knew her mother well and went into service in putting her at ease. "I know that, Mom. Don't worry about it. It's just a crush."

_Hmmm… _crush_ was it?_

For Renée this was enough of an explanation.

"That's right." Her mother released a breath that announced something was resolved. She checked the clock hung on the wall above my head.

"Do you need to go?" Just like that Bella provided her mother an out from another block of hours at the hospital.

Renée didn't exactly confirm that she needed to go but provided Bella with a reason why she probably should. "Phil's supposed to call in a little while… I didn't know you were going to wake up…"

"No problem, Mom." I detected an anxiousness that resembled my own to reclaim our earlier privacy.

That settled it for Renée, and she promised, "I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here, you know." Bella's mother reminded me of Emmett when Rosalie let him win something. It was kind of endearing.

Bella sighed, "Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home — I'll never notice."

"I was too nervous," Renée said confidingly. "There's been some crime in the neighborhood, and I don't like being there alone."

"Crime?"

"Someone broke into the dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground — there's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you use to dance there, honey?"

My brothers had made quick work of purging any trace of the tracker while setting it up to look like the dance studio fell victim to joy-riding hooligans. Not only did my siblings set the scene at the studio and at our hotel, but they sanitized Renée's home of the tracker's intrusion there as well.

"I remember." Once more Bella cringed. This was getting out of hand. That made more than a half-dozen visible episodes of suffering and who knows how many others she hid. There were painkillers in Bella's future whether she wanted it or not.

Concerned, Renée offered, "I can stay, baby, if you need me."

"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edward will be with me." That made me smile inside. If she wanted me, I wanted to take care of her.

Renée apparently sensing my designs became wary, and cautioned. "I'll be back tonight," shifting a look in my direction.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey, I don't want to lose you." Risking my performance, that made me smile outside.

As Bella's nurse breezed in for her hourly check-up, Renée pecked Bella on the forehead, held her mummified hand, and backed out the door with a relieved grin.

The nurse was reviewing the printout from Bella's heart monitor. "Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there."

"I'm fine."

_Right_. _Not so fast, Miss Swan._

"I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a minute."

Once the door closed, I was out of the recliner and took my seat beside Bella.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "You stole a car?"

Actually, Jasper was the one guilty of grand thievery this time, but there was my reputation to uphold. "It was a good car, very fast." I grinned.

"How was your nap?"

With a measuring gaze, I said, "Interesting."

"What?"

My sightline dropped to the floor. "I'm surprised. I thought Florida… and your mother… well, I thought that's what you would want."

"But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire."

_But I was a real vampire_, which was the center of my contention. After she healed and didn't need me anymore, arrangements must be made for her future. It was time to be deadly serious. "I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it." My body was mounting an insurrection against what I was saying. "Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore."

She looked at me like someone who was about to be pushed off a cliff. The RN entered the room then while the machines reported Bella's breath and heart rate accelerating in an arhythmical sequence.

Witness to Bella's meltdown, the nurse gently flicked her IV line.

"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?"

"No, no," I could hear the bare emotion that Bella attempted to shield. "I don't need anything."

"No need to be brave, honey. It's better if you don't get too stressed out; you need to rest." Bella didn't respond.

"Okay," the nurse said with a sigh. "Hit the call button when you're ready." As if she knew I was the cause of Bella's distress, she doled me out a glare that would make me believe she took lessons from Rosalie. Then she wedged in one more evaluating glance at the monitors before repairing to the nurses' station leaving Bella and me alone again.

I collected Bella's face between my hands. "Shhh, Bella, calm down." A scrim of tears formed over her eyes.

"Don't leave me," she cried. Those tears began to fall freely.

"I won't," I allayed. "Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you." Her heart continued to pulse through her chest.

"Bella." My fingers brushed hot tears from cheeks. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me."

"Do you swear you won't leave me?" She muttered between broken sobs.

I refreshed my hold on her and with my nose a fractional width apart from hers I relented, "I swear."

If _dazzling_ was ever in order, it was now. I prayed that what I was about to do would work. My eyes took hold of hers with my breathing pacing a tempo to slow her breathing. "Better?" I said as I removed my hands from her.

She sniffled. "Yes."

Hidden inside a grumble I said that she couldn't afford another overreaction. Bella heard me.

"Why did you say that?" There were deepening fissures in her voice. My dazzling skills really needed work. "Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you _want_ me to go away?"

"No, I don't want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you either — if it weren't for the fact that I was the one putting you in danger… that I'm the reason that you're here."

"Yes, you are the reason," she husked. "The reason I'm here — _alive_."

"Barely." I looked at her hand, chest and leg. "Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move."

"I wasn't referring to my most recent near-death experience," she said emphatically. "I was thinking of the others — you can take your pick. If it weren't for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery."

I chilled at the word imagery traumatizing my imagination that after these last few days couldn't handle further definition.

"That's not the worst part, though," haunted again by the blood, fractured bones, contusions, and the crescent wound on her hand. "Not seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and broken." Something cold suddenly lodged in my throat. I struggled to speak around it. "Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain — all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling… knowing that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself."

"But you didn't."

"I could have. So easily."

"Promise me," she pleaded. It was scarcely traceable even for my ears.

Pretending I didn't comprehend what she was asking me for, I said, "What?"

"You know what." I was making her mad, but she was utterly infuriating. She stared at me, angling her head to reassert her challenge. And curse it all, I _would_ succumb, but not without turning up the intensity of my glare.

"I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that you'll get your way… whether it kills you or not." The frustration at my weaknesses was scaling a higher strata.

"Good." she said, seemingly subdued, but I made sure no official deal was struck.

Bella went on, "You told me how you stopped… now I want to know why."

"Why?" This time I truly didn't understand what she was asking.

"_Why_ you did it. Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you."  
_How in the world…? How did she...?_

_Alice. Of course._

_ DAMN IT._

"I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships," Bella continued ignoring the fact that I was ready to go through a wall. "But it just seems logical… a man and woman have to be somewhat equal… as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other _equally_."

I crossed my arms on her bed and placed my chin onto them to talk to Bella sensibly.

"You _have_ saved me," I protested. How could she not see that this whole thing was lopsided in my favor?

"I can't always be Lois Lane," Bella persisted, "I want to be Superman, too."

I lost the effort to gain any amplification and grew even quieter. "You don't know what you're asking." My eyes found enormous interest in the seam of Bella's pillowcase.

"I think I do."

"Bella, you _don't_ know. I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm still not sure."

"Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?"

"No, I don't wish that." I made myself to return her gaze. "But my life was over. I wasn't giving anything up."

"You _are_ my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose." Her heart was in her eyes. Her heart that I had no business meddling with.

I knew all too well conversions borne out of hunger, disease, grief, violence, misfortune, loneliness, and fear. But love? No. Love would have no part in transforming Bella and neither would I.

With a decisiveness that would not waver, I told her in no uncertain terms, "I can't do it, Bella. I won't do that to you."

"Why not?" Bella's words filed off with hurt. "Don't tell me it's too hard! After today, or I guess it was a few days ago… anyway, after _that_, it should be nothing."

I glowered at her. "And the pain?"

The little color in her cheeks drained. "That's my problem," she said as if reading from a script, "I can handle it."

"It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity."

"It's not an issue. Three days. Big deal."

Evidently, Alice's instruction was quite thorough, as Bella understood with great detail the dynamics of vampire conversion. I was incensed, but I collected my remaining restraint in order to engage in this discussion, and with any luck, finish it.

I looked at Bella. "Charlie?" I contended, "Renée?"

There was a pause that lasted several moments. Bella attempted a reply, but nothing came.

"Look, that's not an issue either," was Bella's poor reply. Then giving voice to more sound reasoning she carried on, "Renée has always made the choices that work for her — she'd want me to do the same. And Charlie's resilient, he's used to being on his own. I can't take care of them forever. I have my own life to live."

"Exactly," I emphasized. "And I won't end it for you."

"If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you! I was just there!"

"You're going to recover." I would make certain she would at least be physically indemnified.

Bella helped herself to what looked like a cleansing breath and then fixed me with a sharp gaze, which I gladly returned.

"No," she uttered with labored patience. "I'm not."

"Of course you are. You may have a scar or two…" _or seventeen_.

"You're wrong," she kept at it, "I'm going to die."

"Really, Bella." I didn't know how to react to her unusual pessimism. "You'll be out of her in a few days. Two weeks at most."

She skewered me with a long penetrating stare. "I may not die now… but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get _old_."

I shut my eyes literally having to hold my head together. It was all too likely that I was going to implode in exasperation. "That's how it's supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didn't exist — and _shouldn't exist_."

My eyelids flipped open when Bella scoffed, "That's stupid. That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it."

"I'm hardly a lottery prize," I snarled.

"That's right. You're much better."

My eyes were about to roll out of their sockets. "Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it."

"If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well," she said defyingly. "You're not the only vampire I know."

With her threat, my patience was entirely devoid of any more elasticity. "Alice wouldn't dare."

That feeling you get when you made the wrong move suddenly came over me. There was something I said or did or given up. Because somehow Bella pieced the full puzzle together.

"Alice already saw it, didn't she?" Her features widened. "That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you… someday."

_For the love of all that is precious and holy!_ When did this conversation become so horribly misdirected? Amid stratospheric irritation at the unweaving of weeks and weeks of evasion, I thrusted an objection.

"She's wrong. She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either." _Geez, good one, Edward._

Then Bella's comeback cut me to the quick. "You'll never catch _me_ betting against Alice."

I was speechless. And after throwing back in my face what I had once spoken, she didn't have another word to say. We just glared at each other over the loud silence.

"So where does that leave us?"

Laughing my aggravation I said, "I believe it's called an _impasse_."

Bella expelled a full breath. "Ouch."

At another display of pain, I instantly adopted a different tact. "How are you feeling?" My vision expanded to the call button beside her bed.

"I'm fine." she maintained, but martyrs are liars when it comes to their own welfare.

"I don't believe you."

"I'm not going back to sleep."

"You need rest. All this arguing isn't good for you."

"So give in," she suggested since she wasn't going to.

"Nice try." And I pressed the button.

"No!"

I paid Bella's protest no mind.

"Yes?" A magnified voice traveled through the wall-speaker.

"I think we're ready for more pain medication," I notified.

"I'll send in the nurse." The voice lazed off.

Then Bella announced, "I won't take it."

Inspecting the liquid-filled bags swaying slightly from dint of our last exchange, I informed her, "I don't think they're going to ask you to swallow anything."

I could hear her heart rate speed. I didn't need the machines to tell me it was going off the charts.

On an exhale I reiterated, "Bella, you're in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? They're not going to put anymore needles in you now."

"I'm not afraid of the needles," she said. "I'm afraid to close my eyes."

I scooped her cheeks into my palms again. "I told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, I'll be here."

With my hands still molded around her face, that thing in my throat tugged.

Bella locked my gaze, "You're talking about forever, you know."

Big ideas were shaping in her eyes. She was all eyes, chocolate brown eyes.

I tried to minimize the electric fields they were generating by saying. "Oh, you'll get over it — it's just a crush."

Bella shook her head free from my touch but reinforced her stare. "I was shocked when Renée swallowed that one. I know _you_ know better."

_I did know better._ "That's the beautiful thing about being human," I remarked, but that frigid obstruction in my throat was making it hard to speak. "Things change."

Her eyes were flamethrowers when she said, "Don't hold your breath."

Then the nurse armed with a syringe, walked in on me laughing my head off. _I loved it when Bella put me in my place._

"Excuse me."

I was in the way of the IV line; so, I picked myself up and spaced myself at the other side of the room.

"Here you go, honey." The nurse emptied the syringe, and in dripped a dosage of narcotics. "You'll feel better now."

The drugs had a fast effect. Bella sleepily replied, "Thanks."

"That ought to do it." The nurse noted approvingly after we both observed Bella's heavily lidded eyes close. She next scuttled out the door to finish her rounds.

I was across the room and at Bella's bedside. Her cheek still moist with tears and hot from our earlier debate, cooled beneath my fingers.

"Stay." It was more a sound than an actual word.

"I will," I told her, but like Bella I was experiencing trouble talking. "Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it's what's best for you."

"'S not the same thing," she muttered in a pharmaceutical fog.

I chuckled clearing my throat. "Don't worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up."

She was grinning, but the muscles in her face weren't cooperating. "Kay."

My mouth moved against her ear. "I love you."

"Me, too." Her drowsy speech was growing increasingly unintelligible.

I snickered, "I know."

Bella then called forth enough energy to move her head like she was seeking something or someone. It took me a slow second to figure out what she wanted.

Then lowering myself into the little space between us, my lips topped her lips. And with the strength she had remaining, Bella returned my kiss.

It was mind-blowingly sensuous yet impossibly sweet. Whatever was in my throat began to melt and expand.

"Thanks," she breathed.

"Anytime." I choked out despite being vocally debilitated. It was then that I realized the frozen lump in my throat was my own damn heart.

It was suddenly quiet aside for the rhythm of the machines. I believed Bella to be asleep, but she parted her mouth and rolled out my name one last time. "Edward?"

"Yes?" I answered just a notch above a whisper.

Bella sighed, "I'm betting on Alice." Although her voice was weak from sedation, it was warm and irreverent, and heartbreakingly hopeful.


	15. Epilogue: An Occasion

Epilogue: An Occasion

When Alice delivered Bella at the top of the staircase in that midnight blue gown, my pupils pinwheeled at the sight of her. I had to shock myself to breathe, she was so beautiful. If there was ever a moment to capture in memory it would be this one.

Bella's skin created its own luminance against the willowy fabric. A cloud of curls framed her face, and as she moved dark waves broke over her shoulders. Her lips were petals, full pink petals. Something hot tingled from my scalp to my chest when those lips smiled in return to my opened mouth.

"That's some fancy getup you got there. You look… great!" Bella appraised. The slow dip of her eyes along the length of my suit was evocative of a touch.

A lash of heat hit my cheeks. My ears felt suddenly flammable. My tongue got tied.

I warbled my thanks and watched as she leaned an awkward hand to the banister. She shifted her body sideways. Bella then hitched her dress with her other hand exposing a plastered foot about to drop unto the immediate step below her.

Before she descended into certain peril, I scaled the stairs in one step. I bundled her in my arms. And taking care not to must her dress, we floated down the staircase. I stepped back so that my eyes could feast upon her once more.

_Wow._ _Oh wow. Wow._

I wanted to take my time. Bella was already gunning for the door as well as anyone with a cast could gun for a door. Heading her off, I collected her hands in mine, pressing my lips to each of them.

I snuck another kiss to her temple and clipped a barrette of camellias in her hair that Esme made for her. Two flights up, my parents from their secret observation deck, waved goodbye as we slipped out the door.

It wasn't until we were rolling down our drive, I noticed I hadn't actually spoken a full sentence. Although it would be hokey, and I would surely be answered with a roll of the eyes, I considered how wars were waged and mythology inspired by the kind of vision that was sitting beside me.

Just as I was about to tell Bella this, she groused, "At what point exactly are you going to tell me what's going on?"

I hadn't meant for this to be a surprise knowing she didn't like them. "I'm shocked that you haven't figured it out yet."

I met Bella's frown with a grin and her features softened. "I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" Unlike the second before, her tone was almost friendly.

"Yes." I smiled appreciative of the compliment but much more grateful for the way she looked in that dress.

Still none too happy, Bella complained, "I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do." Alice had sealed Bella in her bathroom for hours that would be a full workday. I could hear my sister guilt Bella into all sorts of treatments.

But if she had just tripped out of bed, Bella would be no less ravishing. I knew this from experience. As I continued to take her in, my phone jangled in my pocket. The number on the screen made my heart sink.

"Hello, Charlie." I dragged in a breath expecting Chief Swan's order to take Bella home.

"Charlie?" The puckered space between Bella's eyebrows convinced me she guessed the same.

When Carlisle, Alice, and I returned Bella home after her six-day hospital stay, Charlie expressed devout thanks to my father for saving Bella's life, and Alice he christened with sainthood. I did not fair quite as well.

Although I couldn't entirely read his mind, it was apparent that the man's feelings for me bordered on loathing. Understandably, Chief Swan blamed me for the troubles that befell his daughter. I was only too eager to agree.

At first, Charlie outlawed any interaction with Bella. Accepting his decision, I could have been perfectly unhappy pining after her from afar. But following an excited argument between father and daughter, an agreement was reached. The strictest rules on when, where, and how much time I was allowed to spend with Bella were imposed.

When I requested Bella's company for tonight's event, Chief Swan outright refused. I remembered they way he poked a thumb through a belt loop like a western gunslinger as he swatted the door on my nose. It was only after Alice talked to him that he changed his mind.

Every time I spoke with Charlie he reached for his sidearm. This time he surprised me when he didn't demand Bella's return but told me that he was entertaining a guest. "You're kidding!"

"What is it?" Bella insisted while Chief Swan explained that Tyler Crowley had shown up at the Swan residence in a suit and bearing a corsage.

"Why don't you let me talk to him?" I offered. The next thing I heard was Crowley stuttering out a, "Hhh-ello."

"Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen." My politeness was synthetic. I imagined my fist knocking down Crowley's perfect rows of teeth. Years of orthodontia ruined in one messy bloody instant.

"I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight." Being nearly bested by a killer out for Bella's life, for her very blood, I'll be damned if I was going to have some glandular-fevered teenager rival for Bella's heart. Only Bella's annoyance blunted the blade of my agitation.

"To be perfectly honest, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." I didn't wait for Crowley's reply and clapped the phone closed. Now that I attended to that chore, I allowed myself a silent pat on the back.

Bella routed all her breathing through her nose so that it flared with each inhalation. From her roots to her chest, she turned four shades from scarlet; the color wrapped around the tops of her arms and shoulders like a cape.

Quickly I said, "Was the last part a bit too much? I didn't mean to offend you."

"You're taking me to _the prom_!" She shouted looking scandalized. _The prom_ could have been replaced with _the hanging_ or _the_ _war zone_.

I wasn't prepared for this reaction. Not the way I wanted to, I blew out, "Don't be difficult, Bella."

Her eyes misted before she jarred her glare from me to the view out her window. What she saw supported her earlier accusation. We were only minutes away from the high school.

As if I was about to subject her to torture she accused, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?" Pointing a finger down my tuxedo.

She didn't blink once despite the wide pendulum swings of her sightline. When her vision finally settled, the tip of her nose wiggled before one, followed by a flow of tears escaped from her eyes. She wiped the water designs from her cheeks though replacement tears hung on her lower lashes ready to be released.

In wonderment and irritation I said, "This is completely ridiculous. Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm _mad_!" I could feel heat from her skin that in another circumstance would have magnetized me to her. Instead it walled Bella away from me.

"Bella."

"What?" she hiccupped.

"Humor me," I gave my finest _"do this and I'm your eternal slave"_ look_._

The snuffles ceased as she held my stare. "Fine."

Her lips curved down at the edges with this surrender. It was no fun winning the advantage with Bella upset.

"I'll go quietly. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for more bad luck. I'll probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!" Bella lifted the hem of her dress to reveal a stiletto heel at the end of her smooth leg.

"Hmmm." I was lost to the red polish painted on her perfect toes and the arch of her leg cross-laced with ribbons of blue satin. "Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight."

"Alice is going to be there?" Bella said brighter eyed.

"With Jasper, and Emmett… and Rosalie." When I mentioned my sister, wariness shadowed Bella's eyes. Rose's attendance was definitely not a point in favor for the dance.

But I wasn't going to falsely announce that Rosalie experienced a change of heart when she went overboard proving that the absence of one. She had behaved no better than before. _Though_, in spite of her energies to dislike Bella, there were little chinks in my sister's resolve. Bella was getting to her. Rosalie knew it but would rather die than breathe a word of it.

Bella opened another line of questioning. "Is Charlie in on this?"

"Of course," I sniggered, "Apparently Tyler wasn't, though." Crowley obviously lived in an alternative universe when he assumed he would be Bella's date. _Please._ There wasn't a chance on earth, heaven, or hell he'd be able to walk much less do any dancing if he tried to move in on what was _mine_.

When we arrived at the school's parking lot, the red convertible reported that my siblings were already inside. There were very few spaces available. One of the charming qualities about the hard working folks of Forks was that they didn't live by social pretenses. Because of this, they weren't the fashionably-late types. While the festivities officially began a half-hour ago, the party was well underway.

In my excitement, I glanced up to see a fleece of clouds scud above this sun-starved yet stiff-upper-lip place. A few holdout rays were making a final stand in the western horizon. When I opened the door to help Bella from the car, she was making her own stand sitting unmoving in the passenger seat. Chin down and arms crossed she threw out a challenge daring me to proceed. There were several knots of students in formalwear mingling outside that I couldn't just do my _usual thing _without inviting attention.

I let out the unused air in my lungs. "When someone wants to kill you, you're brave as a lion — and then when someone mentions dancing…" I was shaking my head when I noticed Bella's knuckles whiten as she squeezed the edge of her seat. She swallowed like she was about to be sick.

"Bella, I won't let anything hurt you — not even yourself. I won't let go of you once, I promise."

She took a few small breaths and turned her face up to mine. That little nod of her head placed so much trust in me.

"There, now," I soothed, "it won't be so bad." Reaching down, I coiled an arm around her waist and boosted Bella from her seat. She was uneven on her feet. My fingers sprawled over her hip in support. _Oh yes,_ _someone was going to benefit from her missing crutches. _

My plan was to hold Bella without interruption the whole night. I would have preferred to carry her inside, but knowing that would be the surest way to end our date, I hoisted Bella at her waist as she hobbled along beside me.

We entered the gym's main doors and through the archways of balloons. They were everywhere. The areas that weren't attired with balloons were decorated with fanciful swags of coordinating streamers.

Under the music, I heard Bella laugh. It was the first sign of amusement.

"This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen," she chuckled.

We were approaching the ticket table. "Well," with my arm hooked around her, Bella took an assisted step toward the back of the line as I observed, "there are _more_ than enough vampires present."

Looking over the heads of fellow newcomers, my siblings were making quite a show colonizing the dance floor. Their redundant spinning and elaborate patterns, to the humans, must have resembled a carnival ride.

Emmett and Jasper were appareled in their new but vintage _007 _inspired tuxedos. While Rose's mermaid gown harkened to a red snapper. Alice's geometric dress appeared to be the product of a modern art installation. The whirling pair of couples garnered much attention from the spectators who improvised dancing at the sidelines or just looking on.

"Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?" Bella whispered.

With a quirked eyebrow I said, "And where do you fit in that scheme?"

"Oh, I'm with the vampires, of course."

She was kidding, but it was hard to find humor in something that was a real fear. I forced a smile. "Anything to get out of dancing."

"Anything."

After exchanging three twenty's for two tickets with the Social Studies teacher, I led Bella to the dance floor. She shrank into my arm. I glanced down to see plaster and stiletto backpedaling.

"I've got all night." I told her with the mettle of a man who was going to get his way.

Although Bella was not exactly ambulatory, we continued our progress toward the middle of the room until we reached the outside of the dance circle my family created.

Forks High School suffered an unbalanced female-to-male ratio. Girls outnumbered the boys. However, it was far too early in the evening to contemplate statistical disparities. Young ladies arrayed the walls like colorful paper lanterns, lucent with the promises of magic ahead. They were linked together by whispers concerning which gentlemen they would favor with a dance. Out of the Forks High School female populace fidgeting to be led out to the center of the gym, Bella was the one exception.

"Edward." Apprehension rasped in Bella's voice. Then in a last ditch attempt to prevent the inevitable she exclaimed, "I _honestly_ can't dance!" She groped my sleeve.

"Don't worry, silly," I said reassuringly, "I _can_."

The pop song phased into an indie rock ballad, Emmett switched from a reel to a waltz with the rest of my siblings following his lead. The tune was in three-quarter time. They made it work.

I took Bella's hands and placed them behind my neck. By her waist, I raised her up so that her feet landed on mine. Without pause and with lots of panache, we too, were dancing.

Halfway through the song, Bella giggled up at me, "I feel like I'm five years old."

The tenor in my words was intentional when I said, "You don't look five." Then my hands slid down the curve of back to her hips, and I swooshed her into a partner lift.

_Go Bella!_ Alice cheered silently when our formations crossed.

In a grumble Bella conceded, "Okay, this isn't half bad."

I never so much enjoyed being right.

My pleasure was immediately interrupted by the bane named Jacob Black.

He was through the doors and wending his way toward us. As I watched Black's approach, Bella watched my face turn to stone.

"What is it?" Her vision trailed mine to see the kid in a shirt and tie but still very much out of his element and by the laws of our pact, _territory_.

A low growl seethed through my teeth.

"Be_have_!" Bella scolded in a manner the chaperoning teachers would approve of.

Just as young Black closed the distance, I learned from his thoughts that he was recently deputized to do his father's dirty work. "He wants to chat with you."

"Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here." He smiled goofily when he reached us.

"Hi, Jacob." There was curiosity and affection in Bella's returned smile. "What's up?"

Briefly turning his attention to me, Black requested, "Can I cut in?" and met me eye to eye. He had grown since we last encountered. He wasn't quite a man, but he was by no means a child.

An intuition bubbled in my bones that me and Black would share a dark appointment with destiny one day. Nonetheless, I did not want to hasten fate.

I gently picked Bella off my dress shoes onto her own mismatched feet. Then against spectacular inner protest, I worked my legs to move myself back.

"Thanks." Black said.

I responded with a short stiff bow of my head towards Black and shared a look with Bella before I strode away.

From an unmanned stretch of wall, I watched Black take Bella by the waist. In a reaction that was far too natural, she placed her hands on his shoulders. "Wow, Jake, how tall you now?"

Grimacing, the kid replied, "Six-two."

_Six-two_, I mimicked and stared at the pair galumphing from side to side. Black danced with all the grace and style of a zombie. I resisted the urge to yank him by the scruff of his ponytail from the arms of _my date_.

Although Emmett and Jasper continued to revolve my sisters around the dance floor, they were mentally posturing to intervene. I signaled my brothers to stand down for now. This kid could be easily taken care of, but I could use them to cause a distraction when I slam-dunked Black head-first through the basketball hoop at the other end of the gym, stupid ponytail and all.

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" Bella questioned her incompetent dance partner.

"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?"

_I believed there were no depths Billy Black would sink to separate us._

"Yes, I can," Bella said. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?" She then motioned to the string of young ladies minding one of the other walls.

"Yeah," Black, without giving those girls a glance, let out a disappointed sigh. "But she's taken."

I launched a glare at him. He would have definitely felt the nuclear warhead attached to it, but he was otherwise engaged in Bella's inquiring look before they both turned away.

"You look really pretty, by the way," he said with a bashfulness that was actually real. There was nothing modest about his thoughts however.

Bella deflected his flattery. "Um, thanks. So why did Billy pay you to come here?"

"He said it was a 'safe' place to talk to you. I swear the old man is losing his mind."

They exchanged a moment of nervous laughter.

"Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that master cylinder I need," Black admitted with an embarrassed smile.

"Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished." She checked in on me spying from my wall. One of the underclassmen thought my name. I shooed it away concentrating my focus on Bella and Black.

"Don't get mad, okay?"

"There's no way I'll be mad at you, Jacob," she promised. "I won't even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to."

The kid attempted to shake off his discomfort as he spoke. "Well — this is so stupid, I'm sorry, Bella — he wants you to break up with your boyfriend. He asked me to tell you 'please.'" _Boyfriend. _That's right, even if was Billy Black who acknowledged it.

"He's still superstitious, eh?"

"Yeah. He was… kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He didn't believe…" The kid suddenly stopped talking.

With a stern set of her mouth, Bella annunciated. "I fell."

"I know that."

Bella flung her eyes up at him. "He thinks Edward had something to do with me getting hurt."

Black was looking everywhere but at Bella, but damn blast, they had ceased dancing and were just holding each other out of the way from the other couples.

"Look, Jacob, I know Billy probably won't believe this, but just so you know," the serious attention-drawing inflection in Bella's voice gave Black no choice but to look at her now, "Edward really did save my life. If it weren't for Edward and his father, I'd be dead."

"I know." Black's words and thoughts sounded convinced. It was unlikely his father would ever be swayed.

"Hey, I'm sorry you had to come do this, Jacob," Bella consoled. "At any rate, you get your parts, right?"

"Yeah." Black shuffled his feet.

"There's more?"

"Forget it," he brushed it off not very convincingly, "I'll get a job and save the money myself."

Bella's curls sprung when she tossed her head to the side. "Just spit it out, Jacob."

"It's so bad."

"I don't care. Tell me."

"Okay… but, geez, this sounds bad."

In one expulsion of air he muttered, "He said to tell you, no, to _warn_ you, that — and this is his plural, not mine." He released one of his hands from Bella's hip and scratched a quotation mark in the air. "We'll be watching."

Black just spilled the most awful punch line to the worst joke. Bella broke out in a laugh. I attached my own silent chuckle with hers. "Sorry you had to do this, Jake."

"I don't mind _that_ much." Black smiled his relief and was so relaxed that he took this moment to evaluate Bella's dress.

My earlier dealings with Tyler Crowley never mind the infernal pubescent thoughts of every teenage boy who had caught sight of Bella in _that dress_ and now Black's indecent mental images had me spoiling for a fight. The death lasers that were shooting from my eyes could have bounced him out the door telekinetically.

Black continued, "So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out?"

_I wished Black's imaginings would only butt out of my brain._

"No," Bella exhaled. "Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well." Just then the song finished. _About bloody time._

Both of Black's hands were still at Bella's waist as he glimpsed her leg cast. "Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?"

I had already glided up to them. "That's all right, Jacob. I'll take it from here." I said in a facsimile of restraint.

Black's eyebrows arched up in reaction to my proprietary stance beside Bella.

"Hey, I didn't see you there," he stammered. "I guess I'll see you around, Bella." Black took a step back. His mouth compressed into a sulk. His hand waved in a goodbye.

"Yeah, I'll see you later." Bella gave a smile of goodwill that more than covered for the both of us.

"Sorry," Black said. He took his leave with his ears pinned back. I almost felt bad for him but punted that notion out the exit after the kid.

As another song began, I stepped up to Bella and held her. I curled her hand in mine against my chest. When her head nestled next to our interlaced fingers, everything: the gym, the cheesy décor, the other prom attendees, the music dulled into the background.

"Feeling better?"

Taking offense over Black's appearance, I heaved, "Not really."

"Don't be mad at Billy," she said. "He just worries about me for Charlie's sake. It's nothing personal."

_Right! Sure!_ "I'm not mad at Billy."

If only there was some kind of mental disinfectant to take care of Jacob Black's not so clean thoughts for _my girlfriend_. "But his son is irritating me."

Bella peeled away from me to check out my face. "Why?"

"First of all, he made me break my promise."

She blinked her confusion.

Attempting not to come across as ill-tempered as I felt, I continued, "I promised I wouldn't let go you of tonight."

"Oh. Well, I forgive you."

"Thanks. But there's something else." This moment was postponed thanks to our multiple disruptions.

"He called you _pretty._" I huffed. "That's practically an insult, the way you look right now. You're much more than beautiful."

Bella chuckled. "You might be a little biased."

"I don't think that's it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight." Raising her up in my arms, I whirled her across the dance floor.

"So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?"

I peered down at Bella's face. She was reviewing the ornamentation on display. After a few deliberating seconds, I reversed my movement toward the backdoor. As I waltzed Bella past curious stares, the student body's chatter was becoming organized information trafficking.

On the fading bars of music, we made our getaway from the running commentaries. Once I conveyed Bella past the doors and into the empty school grounds, my arm swept her up. I carried her to the bench among the madrone tree grove.

Then with Bella sitting on my lap, I packaged her in my arms.

"The point?" she pressed on.

The sun was about to adjourn for the day, making its last call before collapsing into a high cloudbank. "Twilight, again," I looked up to the gloaming sky. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."

In a town like Forks, the frequent storms reminded me of the night's often savage nature towards the day. How envious the night must be with only the cold moon and its reclusive stars for company. The sun forever denying companionship. Yet at twilight, the night suspends jealousy as day quietly surrenders the sky. The transition culminating in the splendid glow of gold, pink, violet then indigo. The sad courtship of light and darkness, ephemeral, fleeting until dawn renews their vows.

"Some things don't have to end." Bella's voice returned my vision to her.

"I brought you to prom," I said with methodic delicacy, "because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be _human_. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have."

Since our homecoming, nothing further was said regarding her future. It was clear though, we both had been thinking about it more than either of us was willing to admit. This was her first prom, but there would be a first day of college and her first day at a new job, and one day, as much as it crippled me to think of it, her first day as a bride and then as mother. She had lifetime of first days ahead of her, and no one, _no one_, had the right to number them.

Bella was trembling and I recognized it wasn't from the cool air but from anger. "In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this."

A small smile reached my mouth. "It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself."

"That's because I was with you."

The strength of my unspoken arguments devolved into a silence. Bella's eyes were on me as I tracked the elevating moon. I wished there was some way to explain how important it was to me for her to lead a normal life.

This discussion was in need of a tangent. "Will you tell me something?"

"Don't I always?"

"Just promise you'll tell me."

"Fine." She agreed if only to close this loop in our conversation.

"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here." I said.

"I _was_."

"Exactly," I met her eyes. "But you must have had some other theory… I'm curious — what did you _think_ I was dressing you up for?"

She became instantly tight-lipped. "I don't want to tell you."

"You promised."

"I know."

"What's the problem?" I suspected there was another misperceived embarrassment that she needn't hide from me.

Bella lowered her lashes. "I think it will make you mad — or sad."

Her reply got to me… she was protecting me from something. A vague melancholy crept around my heart, but curiosity overpowered my dread. "I still want to know. Please?"

I hoped my plea would be enough to invite confidences, only Bella stonewalled me with a sigh. I took my hand from the small of her back to overlap my other hand resting on her hip.

"Well… I assumed it was some kind of… occasion. But I didn't think it would be some trite human thing… prom!" she spouted.

"Human?" I was clearly missing something here.

Bella fiddled with the gauzy trimming of her dress while I waited.

"Okay," she started. Then like someone trying to get something over with quickly she finished. "So I was hoping that you might have changed your mind… that you were going to change _me_, after all."

Bella's confession opened the door to everything I was trying not to feel, not to think about. With effort, I stuffed away the emotions building inside me and resorted to a detached response. "You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?" tucking a thumb behind my lapel.

"I don't know how these things work. To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does."

I pasted a grin to my face but it wasn't sticking. She shook her head as she continued, "It's not funny."

"No, you're right, it's not," I universally agreed, "I'd rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe you're serious."

"But I am serious."`

I've known this for some time but chose not to accept it. Now, I was nose to nose with what I didn't want to face. Bella folded her hands on her lap. I glanced down to her hands, to the crescent scar that hung below her right littlest finger. The raised skin was bleached silver under the moonlight. I hated it. I hated what looked like a letter spelling out for me what I had almost lost but more staggeringly, what she nearly lost. And every day my comprehension was finally beginning to stack the scales against my selfishness.

I let out a sigh. "I know. And you're really that willing?"

Bella pursed her lips and nodded.

"So ready for this to be the end," I said creating my own revelations, "for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything."

"It's not the end, it's the beginning." Her voice was a whisper.

"I'm not worth it."

"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?" she said. "You obviously have the same blindness." Her passion impelled me to drop my gaze.

"I know what I am."

Bella let out a long defenseless breath. She was proposing a future with me that amounted to a countdown of precious last days as a beautiful, vibrant, human girl. It was nothing short of criminal.

Being without Bella would decimate me. That was certain. Everything she warmed to life would go cold again. But more than I desired her, needed her, I wanted her to live her life and live it exceptionally normal.

I sighed. This solemn turn of events wasn't what I had in mind for Bella tonight. The object of this evening was for her to enjoy herself. Something would have to be done. I contemplated the shades of feelings that colored her face.

"You're ready now, then?"

"Um." Bella swallowed. "Yes?" Her hesitancy showed me how to proceed. Reinforcing my hold, I angled my head to her so that my mouth rested just below her jaw line.

"Right now?" I said. Bella shuddered. I positioned my ear near her mouth to hear her reply.

"Yes."

Bella became a column of bricks in my arms. Her hands contracted into fists. Hot breath lapped against my neck as her breathing became small bursts. It was a quiet gesture, but I sensed her move ever so slightly to expose her neck.

The suspenseful beat lengthened as I realized how serious she really was and that she believed I would actually do it. I didn't know if I should cry or scream or fall to me knees with the weight of what all this meant.

I pulled back from her mindlessly laughing. "You can't really believe that I would give in so easily." The joke went wrong in all the wrong ways.

"A girl can dream." Bella sighed with a smile. Beneath that smile a pained flurry in her voice made it anything but funny.

I stared at her in earnest. "Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?"

"Not exactly." Bella's voice was so light and shapeless that it instantly dissolved. "Mostly I dream about being with you forever."

_Forever_. So much was packed into that one word. _Could she know I wanted that more than anything?_

"Bella." With my fingertips, I outlined her mouth, remembering every one of our intimacies, one of the billion reasons why I couldn't leave her. "I will stay with you — isn't that enough?"

I felt her lips lift into a grimace beneath my touch. "Enough for now."

Bella's sudden stubbornness transformed my exhale into a low snarl. We had reached another impasse.

She raised her hand to me. It was small and warm against my cheek.

"Look," she said. As I did so Bella's eyes glowed with a thrilling, frightening wish of an ambiguous future. "I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isn't that enough?"

Something dangerously close to hope chased through me.

"Yes, it is enough." I gave in to a smile. "Enough for forever."

Bowing to her in search of kiss, I abandoned myself to the scent of Bella's blood. Blood that once nearly driven me to madness, which now offered the strangest sanctuary.

My lips pressed to her hot throat.


	16. Preface

She knelt in the middle of the glade what had become a sacrificial alter. Brown eyes lambent with confusion, fright, desire reached out for me, but there was only her blood. Blood that had me bend and now break to its invincibility. My tongue drowned in venom.

A century of deprivation.

_You've been so good for too long. _My monster purred. In the span of a heartbeat, in one breath, I would take her. Her throat between my lips.

A century of denial.

There she was — my prize.


End file.
